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Social Studies Jokes

Google Search “Election Jokes”

  1. Someone just asked me, “Who do you think will win the 2020 Presidential Election?” I said, I don’t know, I don’t have 2020 vision.
  2. Great American Political Book Never Written: “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks. (Presidents’ Day Jokes / Election Jokes / Book Jokes)
  3. Why is Bernie Sanders challenging his 49 vs 50% loss in Iowa?… I thought he didn’t care about the 1%? (Iowa Jokes)
  4. What might an older candidate need if elected?… Presidentures! (Dentist Jokes & Presidents’ Day Jokes)
  5. The 2020 election results are in! Oh sorry, this is just for us Russians. (World Geography Jokes)
  6. Give me a one-handed economist! All my economists say, “On the one hand …on the other.” Harry Truman
  7. Being president is like running a cemetery: You’ve got a lot of people under you, and nobody’s listening. Bill Clinton (Cemetery Jokes)
  8. I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of a national emergency—even if I’m in a Cabinet meeting. —Ronald Reagan
  9. If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? Abraham Lincoln
  10. It’s important to look closely at lawn signs during election campaigns Last time I voted for a real estate agent.
  11. Maine Political Campaign Slogan: “Let’s Keep the Maine Thing The Main Thing. (Maine Jokes)
  12. What’s the difference between a presidential election and a NASCAR race?… In NASCAR they wear their sponsors on their shirts. (NASCAR Jokes)
  13. I say this next election we learn from our mistakes in the past and try to move forward to a brighter tomorrow. This election vote… Hindsight 2020.
  14. What would you call it if SpongeBob ran for governor?… A goobernatorial election.
  15. Putin won the election with 76.6% of the vote Funnily enough the exact same percent I gave myself when my teacher told us we could mark our own tests and I didn’t want to look suspicious. (Teacher Jokes)
  16. How did we know communism was doomed from the beginning?… All the red flags.
  17. Who is the leader of the Kitty Communist Party?… Chairman Meow.
  18. What is the most popular college during election season?… The Electoral College. (College Jokes)
  19. How did George Washington speak to during his 1st presidential campaign?…. In general terms.
  20. Where do polar bears vote?… The North Poll! (World Geography Jokes & Christmas Jokes)
  21. Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?…. Because he couldn’t lie.
  22. Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?… It’s mole-itically incorrect! (Mole Day Jokes)
  23. Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War?… After a while, he took it for Grant-ed!
  24. What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?… George Washingtoon!
  25. Why did they call Lincoln “Honest Abe”?… Because that’s what it said on all his campaign buttons.
  26. Was General Washington a handsome man?… Yes, he was George-eous!!

Donald Trump Jokes

  1. How is Donald Trump going to create more jobs?… By paying them to cheer for him at his campaign events!
  2. When playing spades with The Donald, why did the dealer lose?… He handed Donald Trump! (Top Summer Camp Jokes)
  3. What’s the only thing that can stop Donald Trump?… A Cruz missile.
  4. Why shouldn’t Donald Trump attack illegal immigrants?… Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
  5. Fear is the Path to the dark side. Fear leads to Anger, Anger leads to Hate, and Hate leads to the Republican Nomination.
  6. How do you know the economy is only getting worse? On the latest episode of “Celebrity Apprentice”, Donald Trump fired himself!
  7. Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?… Because all his other wives support Hilary.
  8. What is the Beach Boys song “Kokomo” about?… All the places Donald Trump has bank accounts.
  9. Trump: “Foreign Policy?, if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee.”
  10. Why doesn’t Melania Trump want to be the first lady?… Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
  11. What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?… Hair Force One!
  12. Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?… Because E.T. eventually went home!
  13. What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common? …They both whine a lot!
  14. Donald Trump doesn’t believe in gay marriage, he believes marriage is about a rich guy marrying a much younger model.
  15. I don’t always insult entire nations, but when I do it’s with Trumped-up charges.
  16. Everybody needs to comb down.
  17. I wonder if Donald Trumps Secret Service codename is “walnut.” So when he enters a room the Secret Service can say “The wall nut has arrived.”
  18. Donald Trump wants to control the country even though he can’t control his hair.

Honorable Mentions:

  1. Why is Abraham Lincoln like a bloodhound tracking someone?…They’re both on the (s)cent!
  2. What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous slugger?…. Babe Lincoln (Top Baseball Jokes)
  3. What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?… Presidentures!
  4. Teacher: “John, do you know Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?” Student: “No, Miss Frump. I thought he lived in Washington!”
  5. What US president had long legs, a beard, and an unusual smell?… Abraham Stinkin
  6. What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president?…. Ape Lincoln!
  7. Why was Abraham Lincoln born in a log cabin?… Because it was too cold to be born outside!
  8. Why did Abe Lincoln grow a beard?… He wanted to look like that guy on the five-dollar bill.
  9. Why did Lincoln wear a tall, black hat?… To keep his head warm!