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**Top Joke Pages: **

- The mathematician says, “Pi r squared.” The baker replies, “No, pies are round. Cakes are square.”
*(Pie Jokes &*)*Pi Day Jokes for Teachers* - What’s the best thing to put in your pumpkin pie?… Your teeth!
*(Pumpkin Jokes)* - Got a big decision to make in November… Pumpkin or pecan pie for Thanksgiving?
*(Pie Jokes & Thanksgiving Jokes)* - What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving?… Good-pie everyone.
*(Thanksgiving Jokes &*)*Pie Jokes* - How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie?… 3.14159265.
**(Pi Day Jokes & Chocolate Jokes)** - The roundest knight at King Arthur’s table was Sir Cumference…. He ate too much pi.
*(Knight Jokes & Pi Day Jokes for Teachers)* - Remember not to eat too much pi—it will give you a large circumference.
- What snack did the teacher in Maine give her students on the last day of school?… Whoopie Pi!
*(Jokes for the Last Day of School & Maine Jokes)* - What is 1.57?… Half a pie.
- What’s the best thing to put into a pie?… Your teeth!
*(Dentist Jokes)* - Why did the pie go to a dentist?… Because he needed a filling!
*(Dentist Jokes)* - How many pastry chefs does it take to make a pie?… 3.14.
**(Pi Day Jokes***)* - What’s the ideal way to serve pi?… A la mode! Anything less is mean.
**(Pi Day Jokes**)*& Ice Cream Jokes* - The local pie shop almost never closes… It’s 22/7.
*(Pi Day Jokes for Teachers)* - I had a Shepherd’s Pie for lunch today… He wasn’t happy.
- I was walking home late one night when I saw dozens of giant cupcakes and pies everywhere. It was kind of scary… The streets were oddly desserted.
*(Cupcake Jokes & Walking Jokes)* - What’s the difference between a worm and an apple?… Have you ever tried worm pie?
*(Worm Jokes & Apple Jokes)* - Following a recipe, says I need: apples, five cubed. 125 sounds like a lot of apples for a pie…
*(Math Jokes for Teachers)* - Told the doctor I had a mince pie growing out of my head. He said he had some cream for it.
*(Doctor Jokes)* - A pie walks into a bar. The barman says “Sorry, we don’t serve food.”
*(Beer Jokes)* - Who led all the apples to the bakery?…The Pie Piper.
*(Fall Jokes & Apple Pie Jokes)* - Why did the pie cross the road?… Because it was meat & potato.
- What do sharks eat for dessert?… Octo-pie.
*(Shark Jokes & Octopus Jokes)* - Why shouldn’t you eat too much pi?… You’ll end up with a big circumference.
- Bloke down the pub sold me a DVD. It had 3.14 stars. I think it was pi-rated.
*(Movie Jokes & Pirate Jokes)* - A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3 in the Bahamas… These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
*(World Geography Jokes*)*& Apple Pie Jokes* - Why did the waitress say when Rick Astley asked to fast track his order of apple pie and vanilla ice cream?… I”m never gonna run around and dessert you.”
*(Apple Pie Jokes / Music Jokes / Dessert Jokes)* - When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that’s amore… When you suddenly squeal ’cause you stepped on an eel that’s a moray! (Moon Jokes & Pizza Jokes)
- I think my favorite Thanksgiving food is pie… but some people say that’s irrational. (Thanksgiving Jokes & Math Jokes for Teachers)
- Where do you go to weigh a pie?… Somewhere, over the rainbow. (Rainbow Jokes & Wizard of Oz Jokes)
- A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in. One grabbed the trucker’s cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker’s coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn’t say a word as he paid the waitress and left. As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, “He ain’t much of a man, is he?” “He’s not much of a driver, either,” the waitress replied. “He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles.”
- What do you get if you chase a pie around the garden?… Puff pastry. (Track & Field Jokes)
- What’s the difference between cake and pie?… πr², cakes are round. (Cake Jokes)
- Did Judy Garland ever figure out how much a pie weighs? …Apparently, somewhere over the rainbow you can weigh a pie. (Rainbow Jokes & Wizard of Oz Jokes)
- Why does pirate likes to eat pie?… Because PIE RATING is in their job description. (Pirate Jokes)
- What is an Australian ghost’s favorite pie?… Boo meringue. (Ghost Jokes)
- The price of your average meat pie in Nicaragua, Panama, Dominica and Cubais $3. In Mexico, Honduras, Jamaica and Bahamas it lies around $2.79, and the cheapest at $1.79 can be found in Granada and Guatemala… These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
- In Jamaica pies cost $4.76, in the Cuba pies cost $3.89, and in Haiti pies cost $3.23. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean. (Pirate Jokes)
- Did you hear about the sailor who turned into a pumpkin pie?… He’s a squashbuckling pirate! (Farming Jokes & Pumpkin Jokes)
- Did you know that Cherry Pie is $15 in Barbados but only $10 in Antigua?… Arrr. Those be the Pie rates of the Caribbean today. (Pirate Jokes)
- How can you tell if someone spiked your chocolate pie with alcohol?… The proof is in the pudding. (Dessert Jokes)
**Finger in the Pie**I robbed a pastry shop in Lombardy and ended up in custardy. (Police Jokes)**Kids:**“There isn’t enough sugar in the pumpkin filling!”**Dad:**“Hey, cooking is an art, not a science…” “… you can’t calculate pie.” (Math Jokes for Teachers)- What is a ghosts favorite kind of dessert?… Boo-berry pie! (Ghost Jokes0
- I love pie… I could eat it 22/7. (Pi Day Jokes for Teachers)
- A billboard advertising a pie shop read… ‘Just 3.14 miles away. (Pi Day Jokes for Teachers)
**Food for Thought:**Apple Pie is 3.14 times better than apples by themselves. (Apple Pie Jokes)- What have I named the Pie section of my bakery menu?… Treasure Hunter cus its full of Pie-Rates. (Pirate Jokes)
- Waiter! Why does my dessert have a shoe print in it?… Sir, you did say “Apple pie and step on it!”(Apple Pie Jokes)
- Chicken pot pie My three favorite things. (Chicken Jokes)
- I was walking home late one night when I saw dozens of giant cupcakes and pies everywhere. It was kind of scary. …The streets were oddly desserted. (Dessert Jokes)
- Key lime pie is Barbados costs $3.14 Pecan pie in Jamaica costs $1.59. Those are the Pi Rates of the Caribbean.
- The first time Snoop Dogg bought a pot pie he was probably very disappointed. (Dog jokes & Music Jokes)
- A pie costs $2.20 in Jamaica and $1.90 in Cuba. Does anyone else know the pie rates of the Caribbean? (Pirate Jokes)
- I drive around and sell pies. Key lime for $8 and pecan pie for $10…. Those are the pie rates of the car I be in. (Pirate Jokes)
- What’s a pumpkin circumference divided by pumpkin diameter?… Pumpkin pi.
- What do you call a ghost of a pie that you can’t throw away because it keeps coming back?… Boo-meringue
- What do you call a pie without 3.14?… 2.718
- Did you know that you can get a slice of lemon pie in Cuba for $1.50 and in Jamaica you can get key lime pie for $1.00? Those are the pie rates of the Carribean.
- A mathematician walks into a diner. He asks the waitress for pie. She says: “3.14159 26535” (Math Jokes for Teachers)
- My wife sat down with half a pie before dinner.
**Me**: Are you really planning to eat pie before dinner?**Her:**Its only half a pie.**Me:**Its still irrational. (Math Jokes for Teachers) - I tried to make a pie with fish innards!… It was cod offal. (Fishing Jokes)
- I dropped my pie on the apartment stairs… Now it’s some where between three and four,
- A Math Joke The mathematician says, “Pi r squared.” The baker replies, “No, pies are round. Cakes are square.” (Cake Jokes)
- Pirates of the Caribbean joke A pie in Jamaica is usually 3 dollars. While a pie in the Bahamas is usually 4 dollars. I know because I have always been a fan of the pie rates of the Caribbean.
- What’s the problem eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year?… You’ll get autumn’y ache. (Fall Jokes & Pumpkin Jokes)
- A politician was crossing a pasture when he stepped into something soft. He immediately stopped and looked down to see his foot completely covered in a large cow-pie. Standing still, he cried out in terror, “Please someone help me, I’m melting!” (Cow Jokes)
- A bakery can only calculate the size of circular cakes… if their pie are squared. (Pi Day Jokes for Teachers)
- A math professor is trapped on a deserted island with nothing but a pie He decides to ration the pie so he can survive for a month, and hopefully someone will have come by then. He dies a week later cause he ate all the pie in one day. He should’ve listened to what he told his students “Pi is irrational.” (Math Jokes for Teachers)
- How many pies can an explorer eat before they go deaf?… Two: a pie an ear!
- Why were the pirates happy when they washed up on shore and saw cakes, pies, and ice cream?… It was a desserted island. (Dessert Jokes & Pirate Jokes)
- What’s really good on pie and really awful on people?… Crust.

Where does Dorothy from OZ weigh a pie?… Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh-a-pie! *(**Wizard of Oz Jokes**)*

Why did the apple pie cry?… It’s peelings were hurt! *(**Pie Jokes**)*

The worst thing about getting hit in the face with pi is that it never ends. **(Pi Day Jokes)**

What do you get when a bunch of sheep stand in a circle?… Shepherd’s Pi. **(Pi Day Jokes)**

What did the apple say to the pie baker?… Use cherries instead.

What did the cherry say to the cherry pie?… “You’ve got some crust.”

What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie?… Puff pastry

Why did the pie cross the road?… She was meat an potato.

What do you call a fantasy adventure movie about baked goods and a Bengal tiger?… Life of Pie.

What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?… Boo-Berry pie with I-scream! (Halloween Jokes & Friday the 13th Jokes)

What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?… Pi! **(Pi Day Jokes)**

What was Sir Isaac Newton’s favorite dessert?… Apple pi. **(Pi Day Jokes)**

What is the ideal number of pieces to cut a pie into?… 3.14

Remember not to eat too much pi—it will give you a large circumference. *(Pie Jokes)*

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?… A Mince Spy! *(**Christmas Jokes**) *

What does a butcher do after traveling somewhere over a rainbow?… Weigh a pie! *(Rainbow Jokes)*

**101 Pi Day Jokes****Pi Day Jokes (26)**

- 3.14% of Sailors are PI rates!
**(Top Pirate Jokes)** - What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?… Pi!
**(Find a U.S. math teacher who tutors!)** - What is the ideal number of pieces to cut a pie into?… 3.14
- Mathematician: “Pi r squared” Baker:” No! Pies are round, cakes are square!
- How many pastry chefs does it take to make a pie?… 3.14.
- In Alaska, where it gets very cold, pi is only 3.00. As you know, everything shrinks in the cold. They call it Eskimo pi.
- The roundest knight at King Arthur’s was Sir Cumference… He ate too much Pi!
- What is the official animal of Pi Day?… the PI – thon!
- The worst thing about getting hit in the face with pi is that it never ends.
- Never talk to pi. He’ll go on forever.
- I just saw the movie American Pi. I gave it a rating of 3.14.
- What is 1.57?… Half a pie
- What do you get when you cut a jack o’lantern by its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi!
**(Top Halloween Jokes)** - What do you get when you take green cheese and divide its circumference by its diameter?… Moon Pi.
- What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference by its diameter?… Pi in the sky.
- What was Sir Isaac Newton’s favorite dessert?… Apple pi!
- What do we get when we take the object and order the rim by the diameter?…Pi in the sky by and by.
- What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter?… Pi a’la mode.
- Come to the nerd side, we have pi!
- How far can you recite pi?… Cherry, Apple, Pecan, Blueberry…
- What famous private investigator solves math problem?… Magnum PI
- What do you get when you take a bovine and divide its circumference by its diameter?… A cow pi.
- A
**mathematician**, a**physicist**, and an**engineer**are all given identicalrubber balls and told to find the volume. They are given anything theywant to measure it, and have all the time they need.**The mathematician**pulls out a measuring tape and records the circumference. He then divides by two times pi to get the radius, cubes that, multiplies by pi again, and then multiplies by four-thirds and thereby calculates the volume.**The physicist**gets a bucket of water, places 1.00000 gallons of water in the bucket, drops in the ball, and measures the displacement to six significant figures.**And the engineer?**He writes down the serial number of the ball, and looks it up. - Albert Einstein‘s birthday was on Pi Day — March 14, 1879. Perhaps he served pie for his birthday instead of cake.
- What do you get when you take a native Alaskan and divide its circumference by its diameter?… Eskimo pi.
- Several Experts Several experts were all posed the following question: What is pi?

- The engineer said: “It is approximately 3 and 1/7″
- The physicist said: “It is 3.14159.”
- The mathematician thought a bit, and replied “It is equal to pi.”
- A nutritionist: “Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!”

**Math Riddles (14)**

- Why should you never mention the number 288 in front of anyone?… Because it is too gross (2 x 144 – two gross).
- How is the moon like a dollar?… They both have 4 quarters.
- How can you add eight 8′s to get the number 1,000? (only using addition) A: 888 +88 +8 +8 +8 = 1,000
- How many eggs can you put in an empty basket? … Only one, after that the basket is not empty.
- Where can you buy a ruler that is 3 feet long?… At a yard sale
- When things go wrong, what can you always count on?… Your fingers.
- What coin doubles in value when half is deducted?… A half dollar.
- Why are diapers like 100 dollar bills?… They need to be changed.
- What goes up and never comes down?… Your Age
- Why is the longest human nose on record only 11 inches long?… Otherwise it would be a foot.
- Why do they never serve beer at a math party?… Because you can’t drink and derive…
- Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?… Because it had more cents.
- Why is 6 afraid of 7?… Because 7 8(ate) 9
- What is a proof?… One-half percent of alcohol.

*Geometry Jokes (33)*

- What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of mount everest?… A high-pot-in-use
- What do you call a crushed angle?…. A Rectangle (wrecked angle)
- What did the baby tree say when it looked in a mirror?… Gee-Om-A-Tree.
- What do you get when you cross geometry with McDonalds?… A plane cheeseburger.
- Why did I divide sin by tan?… Just cos.
- What shape is usually waiting for you at Stabucks?… A line.
- Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?… because it was over 90 degrees.
- What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?…
- Nothing! You know you can’t cross a scalar and a vector.
- What did the acorn say when he grew up?… Gee, I’m A Tree!
- Why does nobody talk to circles?… Because there is no point!
- What do you call an angle which is adorable?… acute angle
- What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?… Hexagon
- Who invented the Round Table?… Sir Cumference.
- Which triangles are the coldest?… Ice-sosceles triangles.
- What do people who whine a lot and 3 points have in common?… They are both coplaners
- How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie?… 3.142
- What kind of tree does a math teacher climb?… Geometry
- What do you call people who like tractors?… Protractors
- Why were the similar triangles weighing themselves?… They were finding their scale.
- Why won’t the circles invite the ellipses over for dinner?… They are too eccentric.
- Why did the 30-60-90 triangle marry the 45-45-90 triangle?… They were right for each other.
- Why is a geometry book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
- Why is Ms. Radian such a good reporter?… She covers the story from every angle.
- Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?… His parents wouldn’t cosine
- Where do circles, ellipses, hyperbolas and parabolas like to hang out in the summer?… Coney Island.
- Why didn’t the chicken cross to the other side of the inequality?… It couldn’t get past the boundary line.
- Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi
- Why was the parent function upset with its child?… It was stretched to its limit.
- What is a proof?.. One-half percent of alcohol.
- Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?… Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!
- What did one geometry book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
- What do you call a broken record?… A Decca-gone

*Calculus Jokes (21)*

- Why do they never serve beer at a math party?… Because you can’t drink and derive…
- Why won’t Goldilocks drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it? It’s too cubed.
- What’s the integral of (1/cabin)d(cabin)?… A natural log cabin!
- What is the first derivative of a cow?… Prime Rib!
- What is the value of the contour integral around Western Europe?… Zero. Why?
- Because all poles are in Eastern Europe!
- How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children?… “I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times…”
- What is polite and works for the phone company?… A deferential operator.
- Why was the parent function upset with its child?… It was stretched to its limit.
- Did you hear the joke about the statistician?… Probably
- What wild animal is good at calculus?… The tangent lion.
- Why is a calculus book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
- Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?… He was better at fitting curves than hitting them.
- Why was the function so bent out of shape?… It’s regression model was too tight a fit.
- What is the integral of log cabin d cabin?…Log Cabin + sea = houseboat.
- Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?… Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!
- What did one calculus book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
- What’s yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice?… Zorn’s Lemon.
- Why did the algebra students throw bottles of hand cream across the classroom?… They were investigating projectile lotion.
- What do you get if you cross an elephant with a zebra?… Elephant zebra sin theta.
- Why is it that the more accuracy you demand from an interpolation function, the more expensive it becomes to compute?… That’s the Law of Spline Demand.

**Algebra Jokes (22)**

- Why was the student afraid of the y-intercept?… She thought she’d be stung by the b.
- Who invented algebra?… A Clever X-pert.
- What do you call mall friends who love math? alge “bros”
- Why won’t Goldilocks drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?… It’s too cubed.
- What do you get when you cross an algebra class with the prom?… The quadratic formal.
- What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?… Nothing! You know you can’t cross a scalar and a vector.
- Why is an algebra book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
- Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?… Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!
- What is purple and commutative?… An abelian grape
- What shape is usually waiting for you at Stabucks?… A line.
- Why did the relation need a math tutor? … It failed the vertical-line test.
- How can a fisherman determine how many fish he needs to catch to make a profit?… By using a cod-ratic inequality.
- Why did the imaginary number turn red?… It ran out of i-drops.
- What does the little mermaid wear?… An algae-bra.
- How does a ghost solve a quadratic equation?… By completing the scare.
- What is a proof?… One-half percent of alcohol.
- What did algebra math book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
- What is the definition of a polar bear?… A rectangular bear after a coordinate transformation
- Why did all the apples in the fruit bowl know each other?… They were core-relations.
- Why was the matrix arrested?… Illegal entry.
- What do you call a rodent with babies?… A quad-rat-ic parent.
- What do you get when you cross a linebacker with a computer geek?… A linear programmer.