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- 3.14% of Sailors are PI rates!
**(Pirate Jokes for Kids)** - Never talk to pi. He’ll go on forever.
- What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?… Pi.
*(Dessert Jokes / Math Jokes / Back to School Jokes for Kids)* - Simple as 3.141592…
- What is the official mascot of of Pi Day?… the PI – rate!
**(Pirate Jokes for Kids)** - What is the official animal of Pi Day?… the PI – thon!
*(**Snake Jokes**)* - The roundest knight at King Arthur’s was Sir Cumference… He ate too much Pi!
*(**Knight Jokes**)* - Mathematician: “Pi r squared” Baker:” No! Pies are round, cakes are square!
*(**Pie Jokes**& Geometry Jokes)* - The worst thing about getting hit in the face with pi is that it never ends.
- Come to the nerd side, we have pi!
- I just saw the movie American Pi. I gave it a rating of 3.14.
*(**Movie Jokes**)* - How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie?… 3.14159265.
**(****Candy Jokes****&***Pie Jokes**)* - What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi.
*(Halloween Jokes &**Pumpkin Jokes**)* - In Alaska, where it gets very cold, pi is only 3.00. As you know, everything shrinks in the cold. They call it Eskimo pi.
*(**Alaska Jokes**)* - What do you call 8 x 3.14?… Octopi.
*(Octopus Jokes)* - How many pastry chefs does it take to make a pie?… 3.14.
*(**Pie Jokes**)* - What is 1/2 of pi?… 1.57.
- What do you get when you take green cheese & divide its circumference by its diameter?… Moon Pi
*(**Full Moon Jokes**)* - What did the middle school math book tell the #2 pencil?….I have a lot of problems.
**(Pencil Jokes / Math Jokes / Pi Day Jokes)** - “Waiter, will my pizza be long?”… “No sir, it will be round!”
*(**Pizza Jokes for Kids**)*

- A pizza has a radius z and thickness a. Its volume is pizza (or pi
*z*z*a)*(**Pizza Jokes**)*

What is the ideal number of pieces to cut a pie into?… 3.14

What do you get when you cut a jack o’lantern by its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi!**(Top Halloween Jokes)**

What do you get when you take green cheese and divide its circumference by its diameter?… Moon Pi.

What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference by its diameter?… Pi in the sky.

What was Sir Isaac Newton’s favorite dessert?… Apple pi!

What do we get when we take the object and order the rim by the diameter?…Pi in the sky by and by.

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter?… Pi a’la mode.

How far can you recite pi?… Cherry, Apple, Pecan, Blueberry…

What famous private investigator solves math problem?… Magnum PI

What do you get when you take a bovine and divide its circumference by its diameter?… A cow pi.

A**mathematician**, a**physicist**, and an**engineer**are all given identicalrubber balls and told to find the volume. They are given anything theywant to measure it, and have all the time they need.**The mathematician**pulls out a measuring tape and records the circumference. He then divides by two times pi to get the radius, cubes that, multiplies by pi again, and then multiplies by four-thirds and thereby calculates the volume.**The physicist**gets a bucket of water, places 1.00000 gallons of water in the bucket, drops in the ball, and measures the displacement to six significant figures.**And the engineer?**He writes down the serial number of the ball, and looks it up.

Albert Einstein‘s birthday was on Pi Day — March 14, 1879. Perhaps he served pie for his birthday instead of cake.

Several Experts Several experts were all posed the following question: What is pi? What do you get when you take a native Alaskan and divide its circumference by its diameter?… Eskimo pi. - The engineer said: “It is approximately 3 and 1/7″
- The physicist said: “It is 3.14159.”
- The mathematician thought a bit, and replied “It is equal to pi.”
- A nutritionist: “Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!”

**Other great math jokes**

What do you get when you take a native Alaskan and divide its circumference by its diameter?… Eskimo pi.

- Why are moles bad at counting?… Because they only know one number.
*(Mole Day Jokes***)** - Why should you never mention the number 288 in front of anyone?… Because it is too gross (2 x 144 – two gross).
- How is the moon like a dollar?… They both have 4 quarters.
- How can you add eight 8′s to get the number 1,000? (only using addition) A: 888 +88 +8 +8 +8 = 1,000
- How many eggs can you put in an empty basket? … Only one, after that the basket is not empty.
- Where can you buy a ruler that is 3 feet long?… At a yard sale
- When things go wrong, what can you always count on?… Your fingers.
- What coin doubles in value when half is deducted?… A half dollar.
- Why are diapers like 100 dollar bills?… They need to be changed.
- What goes up and never comes down?… Your Age
- Why is the longest human nose on record only 11 inches long?… Otherwise it would be a foot.
- Why do they never serve beer at a math party?… Because you can’t drink and derive…
- Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?… Because it had more cents.
- What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?… Moletiplication.
*(Mole Day Jokes)* - Why is 6 afraid of 7?… Because 7 8(ate) 9
- What is a proof?… One-half percent of alcohol.

*Geometry Jokes (33)*

- What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of mount everest?… A high-pot-in-use
- What do you call a crushed angle?…. A Rectangle (wrecked angle)
- What did the baby tree say when it looked in a mirror?… Gee-Om-A-Tree.
- What do you get when you cross geometry with McDonalds?… A plane cheeseburger.
- Why did I divide sin by tan?… Just cos.
- What shape is usually waiting for you at Stabucks?… A line.
- Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?… because it was over 90 degrees.
- What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?…
- Nothing! You know you can’t cross a scalar and a vector.
- What did the acorn say when he grew up?… Gee, I’m A Tree!
- Why does nobody talk to circles?… Because there is no point!
- What do you call an angle which is adorable?… acute angle
- What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?… Hexagon
- Who invented the Round Table?… Sir Cumference.
- Which triangles are the coldest?… Ice-sosceles triangles.
- What do people who whine a lot and 3 points have in common?… They are both coplaners
- How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie?… 3.142
- What kind of tree does a math teacher climb?… Geometry
- What do you call people who like tractors?… Protractors
- Why were the similar triangles weighing themselves?… They were finding their scale.
- Why won’t the circles invite the ellipses over for dinner?… They are too eccentric.
- Why did the 30-60-90 triangle marry the 45-45-90 triangle?… They were right for each other.
- Why is a geometry book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
- Why is Ms. Radian such a good reporter?… She covers the story from every angle.
- Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?… His parents wouldn’t cosine
- Where do circles, ellipses, hyperbolas and parabolas like to hang out in the summer?… Coney Island.
- Why didn’t the chicken cross to the other side of the inequality?… It couldn’t get past the boundary line.
- Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi
- Why was the parent function upset with its child?… It was stretched to its limit.
- What is a proof?.. One-half percent of alcohol.
- Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?… Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!
- What did one geometry book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
- What do you call a broken record?… A Decca-gone

** Calculus Jokes (21)**The worst thing about getting hit in the face with pi is that it never ends.

- Why do they never serve beer at a math party?… Because you can’t drink and derive…
- Why won’t Goldilocks drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it? It’s too cubed.
- What’s the integral of (1/cabin)d(cabin)?… A natural log cabin!
- What is the first derivative of a cow?… Prime Rib!
- What is the value of the contour integral around Western Europe?… Zero. Why?
- Because all poles are in Eastern Europe!
- How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children?… “I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times…”
- What is polite and works for the phone company?… A deferential operator.
- Why was the parent function upset with its child?… It was stretched to its limit.
- Did you hear the joke about the statistician?… Probably
- What wild animal is good at calculus?… The tangent lion.
- Why is a calculus book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
- Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?… He was better at fitting curves than hitting them.
- Why was the function so bent out of shape?… It’s regression model was too tight a fit.
- What is the integral of log cabin d cabin?…Log Cabin + sea = houseboat.
- Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?… Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!
- What did one calculus book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
- What’s yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice?… Zorn’s Lemon.
- Why did the algebra students throw bottles of hand cream across the classroom?… They were investigating projectile lotion.
- What do you get if you cross an elephant with a zebra?… Elephant zebra sin theta.
- Why is it that the more accuracy you demand from an interpolation function, the more expensive it becomes to compute?… That’s the Law of Spline Demand.

**Algebra Jokes (22)**

- Why was the student afraid of the y-intercept?… She thought she’d be stung by the b.
- Who invented algebra?… A Clever X-pert.
- What do you call mall friends who love math? alge “bros”
- Why won’t Goldilocks drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?… It’s too cubed.
- What do you get when you cross an algebra class with the prom?… The quadratic formal.
- What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?… Nothing! You know you can’t cross a scalar and a vector.
- Why is an algebra book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
- Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?… Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!
- What is purple and commutative?… An abelian grape
- What shape is usually waiting for you at Stabucks?… A line.
- Why did the relation need a math tutor? … It failed the vertical-line test.
- How can a fisherman determine how many fish he needs to catch to make a profit?… By using a cod-ratic inequality.
- Why did the imaginary number turn red?… It ran out of i-drops.
- What does the little mermaid wear?… An algae-bra.
- How does a ghost solve a quadratic equation?… By completing the scare.
- What is a proof?… One-half percent of alcohol.
- What did algebra math book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
- What is the definition of a polar bear?… A rectangular bear after a coordinate transformation
- Why did all the apples in the fruit bowl know each other?… They were core-relations.
- Why was the matrix arrested?… Illegal entry.
- What do you call a rodent with babies?… A quad-rat-ic parent.
- What do you get when you cross a linebacker with a computer geek?… A linear programmer.
- What did the math teacher have for dessert in the 1st day of school?… Pi.
*(Dessert Jokes / Math Jokes / Back to School Jokes for Kids)* - What do you get when you divide the circumference of your jack-o-lantern by its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi.
*(**Pumpkin Jokes**)*