Civil War Jokes

by | May 2, 2019 | Dads, Education, Latest News, Moms, Parents, School Jokes | 0 comments

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  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Civil War jokes.
  2. Most people consider the Battle of Gettysburg the turning point of the American Civil War… For the Confederacy, it all went South from there. (Pennsylvania Jokes)
  3. Civil war jokes?… I don’t General Lee like them. (Armed Forces Jokes)
  4. You know, I don’t find the Super Bowl LI win all that historic… After all, this isn’t the first time Atlanta was burned by the north. (New England Jokes & Georgia Jokes)
  5. I’m a historian who studies the American Civil War. Unfortunately, it’s been hard making money at this… So I applied for a General Grant. Guest Blog: Teachers: Top 10 Tips for Successful Grant Writing
  6. Son: I can’t believe I have to memorize the entire Gettysburg Address by tomorrow. Dad: Make sure you don’t forget the zipcode! (Pennsylvania Jokes)
  7. People often ask me if I know my Civil War era historical figures…. My response is usually “General Lee.”
  8. The 2012 film Lincoln did well in theaters… historically this has not been true. (Civil War Jokes & Movie Jokes)
  9. Why didn’t the Confederate soldier want to go to the baseball game?… He heard the Yankees were playing. (Baseball Jokes)
  10. Did you know that before the Civil War in school Jefferson Davis was voted most likely to secede.
  11. Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War?… After a while, he took it for Grant-ed! 
  12. Southerners can do pretty good Wivil War voice impressions…. General Lee speaking.
  13. I was researching the Jackson family tree. I got back as far as the Civil Aar and then… I hit a stone wall.
  14. Union Civil War Motto: Never take a victory for Grant-ed.
  15. Tourist: ”Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park Sites?” Be a “Teacher Ranger” at Gettysburg National Military Park
  16. What do you call soldiers from the South when they partied on New Year’s Eve during the Civil War?… Confetti-ate soldiers. (New Year’s Eve Jokes)
  17. Civil War puns might be a little controversial… But they are General Lee easy to make.
  18. What kind of dive are Civil War infantry men best at?… Cannon-ball (Top 10 Sports Jokes)
  19. Did you know that on one day during the American Civil War, armies on both sides skipped breakfast?… They had to March first.
  20. Sometimes I struggle to understand jokes about the Civil War… I just General Lee don’t get them.
  21. No one likes me telling jokes about the Civil War… I always end up getting Stonewalled.
  22. “If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” Abraham Lincoln (Election Jokes)
  23. I learned about a Civil War surgeon who had so many amputations he ran out of fake legs and had to use a shovel… It was a ground-breaking medical procedure.
  24. The oldest Civil War survivor told this joke. Reporter: “Hey old man, tell me a joke from the war!!” Civil War Veteran: “I can’t remember any – I General Lee didn’t find them very funny.”
  26. What did one Union flag say to the other flag?… Nothing. It waved! (Flag Day Jokes)
  27. Where did General Grant put his armies?… In his sleevies! (Memorial Day Jokes & Veterans Day Jokes)
  28. Who rode a dog and was a confederate general during the American Civil War?… Robert E Flea!
  29. We all know about the American Civil War… But the Canadian Civil War was resolved with a handshake and an apology… making it more civil than any war ever.
  30. Why is Abraham Lincoln considered the least guilty American President?… Because he is in a cent
  31. The last time a group of New Englanders destroyed Atlanta this badly… Sherman marched to the sea! (Super Bowl Jokes & New England Jokes)
  32. What was General Lee’s favorite tree?… The infan-tree. (Tree Jokes & Arbor Day Jokes)
  33. I’m not a fan of Civil War jokes… I General Lee do not find them funny.
  34. What do you call the last chapter in a book about the Civil War?… The Appopendox!
  35. What do you call soldiers from the South when they partied on New Year’s Day during the Civil War?… Confetti-ate soldiers. (New Year’s Day Jokes)
  36. So there are claims that the lack of an ability to compromise led to the Civil War… I wouldn’t say that’s 100% accurate, but at least 3/5ths.
  37. I’ve never had good luck with Civil War jokes… People don’t general lee find them funny.
  38. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about the Civil War?
  39. There was a Civil War at the North Pole once, but the elves don’t talk about it much… It was a cold war. Also a short war, with little casualties. It lasted six months. The truce came after the elves realized they’d wasted the whole day fighting.
  40. Teacher: Abraham Lincoln had to walk 8 miles to so school. Student: He should have gotten up earlier and taken the bus like everyone else. (Top School Jokes)
  41. Do you like Civil War Jokes?… I don’t find them General Lee funny.
  42. Civil war jokes are the worst… I General Lee don’t find them funny at all.
  43. What did one Confederate flag say to the other flag?… Nothing. It waved! (Flag Day Jokes)
  44. What did the Confederate flag say to the Union flag?… Nothing. It waved(Flag Day Jokes)
  45. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Civil War knock-knock joke?
  46. What color is a Civil War battle flag?… Violent. (Flag Day Jokes)
  47. I’m sometimes okay with Civil War puns but… I General Lee don’t approve.
  48. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Civil War knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  49. Did you know that before the Civil War in middle school Jefferson Davis was voted most likely to secede.
  50. Did you know that before the Civil War in high school Jefferson Davis was voted most likely to secede.
  51. Did you know that before the Civil War in elementary school Jefferson Davis was voted most likely to secede.
  52. I can’t believe AntMan and Spider-Man are in civil war… That really bugs me.
  53. Why do the French have so many civil wars?… So they can win one every now and again.
  54. What did the Middle East say when they saw Yemen having another civil war? Oman, here we go again…
  55. Where did General Lee put his armies?… In his sleevies! (Memorial Day Jokes & Veterans Day Jokes)
  56. What was General Grant’s favorite tree?… The infan-tree. (Tree Jokes & Arbor Day Jokes)
  57. What do you call Abraham Lincoln’s false teeth?… Presidentures. (Dentist Jokes)
  58. I can’t believe AntMan and Spider-Man are in civil war… That really bugs me. (Spiderman Jokes)