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Top Pennsylvania Twitter Accounts

(Pennsylvania Jokes)

More Pennsylvania Jokes…

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best jokes about Pennsylvania.
  2. Did you hear the joke about the Liberty Bell?… Yeah, it cracked me up! (American Revolution Jokes)
  3. “Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?”… “On the bottom!” (American Revolution Jokes)
  4. Which colonists told the most jokes?… Punsylvanians! (American Revolution Jokes & 4th of July Jokes)
  5. Why were the first Pennsylvania settlers like ants?… Because they lived in colonies. (Top 50 State Jokes& Pennsylvania Jokes)
  6. A book never written: “To Make a Sandwich” by Phil E. Cheese. (Sandwich Jokes & Book Jokes)
  7. Teacher: “True or False? The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia. Student: “False. It was written in ink.” (American Revolution Jokes & Teacher Jokes)
  8. What is the tallest building in Pennsylvania?… State Library of Pennsylvania, it has the most stories! (Library Jokes)
  9. Where did the pencil go for vacation?… To Pennsylvania. (Pencil Jokes)
  10. The 1st group of early Americans who were really fond of earthquakes were the Quakers. (Rhode Island & Earthquake Jokes)
  11. Where do a Pennsylvania fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Ohio River. (Ten Longest Rivers in Pennsylvania)
  12. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Susquehanna River! (Ten Longest Rivers in Pennsylvania)
  13. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The The Allegheny River! (Geography Jokes for Kids & Ten Longest Rivers in Pennsylvania)
  14. Why should you never buy golf equipment made in Pennsylvania?… Because Pennsylvania drivers are terrible. (Golf Jokes & Car Jokes)
  15. Where does corn go for vacation?… Lake Earie. (Travel Guest Blogs)
  16. I have the heart of a lion… And a lifetime ban from the Philadelphia Zoo(Zoo Jokes)
  17. How do the zebras at the Pittsburg Zoo play baseball?… Three stripes and you’re out! (Baseball Jokes)
  18. What do you call a dishonest cat at the Lake Tobias Wildlife Park?… Lion. (Oregon Jokes & Zoo Jokes)
  19. Why won’t any of Pennsylvania’s bicycles stand up by themselves?… They are two tired. (Bike Jokes)
  20. In what state does the Delaware River flow?… Liquid. 
  21. Over the summer, Pennsylvania is expected to break the hottest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as 112°F… NOT cool. (Summer Jokes)
  22. Speaking of driving… Pennsylvania roads are adventurous because no one knows how to drive.
  23. Over the winter, Pennsylvania is expected to break the coldest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as -43°F… NOT cool.. FREEZING. (Winter Jokes)
  24. Why is the Ohio River rich? …. Because it has two banks.
  25. Where is the #1 place to have a Halloween basketball tournament?… Spooky Nook in Manheim, PA.
  26. Where do pretzels go on vacation?… Pretzilvania.
  27. Hawaii is hosting a party for all the states. Hawaii says, “be there or be square!” Unfortunately, Colorado and Wyoming didn’t attend. (Hawaii Jokes & Colorado Jokes)
  28. What did Pennsylvania see?… The same thing Arkansas. (Top 50 State Jokes)
  29. In the news, Pennsylvania had it’s first remote trial via zoom… It looks like things will be settled out of court. (Lawyer Jokes)
  30. A Pennsylvania man was arrested for stealing a truck filled with $56,000 worth of Campbell’s soup…. I, for one, hope this guy goes away for ‘Mmm, mmm, good!’
  31. Why won’t any of Pennsylvanias bicycles stand up by themselves?… They are two tired.
  32. Why can’t Mt. Hood and Mt. Bachelor play hide and seek?… Because they like to peak. (Oregon Jokes & Ghost Jokes)
  33. How many Pennsylvania men do you need before you can make change for a dollar?… You can’t. Nobody in
  34. Pennsylvania has any cents.
  35. Did you guys hear about that girl they found murdered in Pennsylvania?… They found her covered in milk with cheerios still in her mouth… They think it was a cereal killer. (Cereal Jokes)
  36. What is a Pennsylvania clouds favorite drink?… Mountain Dew. (Hiking Jokes & Skiing Jokes)
  37. A retired Pennsylvania man was jailed for refusing to nap… …he was resisting a rest. (Napping Jokes)
  38. What does the average Pennsylvania high school student get on his SAT?… Drool. (College Jokes)
  39. Why do Pennsylvania students have TGIF on their shoes?… Toes Go In First!
  40. No, really. I’ve been holding my breath for someone in Pennsylvania to use their turn signal and I haven’t breathed since 2005. (Car Jokes)
  41. Pennsylvania: America hates us because America ain’t us.
  42. Pennsylvania: We’re not sure who is dumber – the politicians or the voters. (Election Jokes)
  43. How do you get a man in Pennsylvania to do sit-ups?… Put the remote control between his toes.
  44. Nightmares in other states are just visions of what’s really going on in Pennsylvania.
  45. How many Pennsylvania State University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?… None, it’s a sophomore course.
  46. Did you hear the joke about Beam Rocks?… You won’t get over it. (Hiking Jokes & 10 of the Most Beautiful Mountains in Pennsylvania)
  47. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Pennsylvania Turnpike!
  48. What did Canonsburg Lake say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved. (25 Best Lakes in Pennsylvania)
  49. What is Ronald McDonalds favorite city in Pennsylvania?… Pitts-burger.
  50. Where does ghost corn go to haunt people?… Lake Eerie.
  51. Can you name the capital of Pennsylvania?… “P”
  52. If a plane crashed on the borders of Pennsylvania & New York where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  53. Where does everyone get their pencils from?… Pennsylvania! (Pencil Jokes for Kids)
  54. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Pennsylvania?
  55. Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?… They’re both cracked. (Easter Jokes & Egg Jokes)
  56. Super Bowl LII: Why did the Eagles win the Super Bowl?… They’re very talonted. (Super Bowl Jokes & Bird Jokes)
  57. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Pennsylvania knock-knock joke?
  58. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: Pennslyvania. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in ! (Teacher Jokes)
  59. Where did the pen go for holiday?… He went to pencil-vania. (Pencil Jokes)
  60. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Pennsylvania knock knock jokes? (June Jokes Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  61. Where do pencils travel to?… PENCILvaneya.
  62. Pennsylvania, where the elevation is usually a bigger number than the town’s population. (Hiking Jokes)
  63. A cowboy and his blind horse: A man is casually crossing the Pennslyvania plains when his horse died all of the sudden. The nearest town was three days walk. So, he started to walk. 3 days later he ends up in this quiet ‘ol town but nobody had a horse for sale. So he commenced to walking to the closest town which was a two days journey. Unfortunately, nobody in that town had a horse for sale, however, he did come across this stable where the fellow runnin’ it mentioned his brother in a nearby Town had a horse for sale. He commenced to walk to this next town and 2 DAYS LATER found the guy’s brother. “I talked to your brother two days walk from here and he says you might have a horse to sell me.” “Yes I do have a horse for sale,” He replied, “But he don’t look so good.” “I don’t care. I’ll take him anyways. I’ve been walking for damn near a week now. I’m tired and I need a horse.” So he gets on the horse and the horse takes off and bumps into a tree and stops. “Heyyy, something’s wrong with this horse. I think he’s blind. YOU SOLD ME A BLIND HORSE MISTER!” “I told you Sir, THE HORSE DON’T LOOK SO GOOD!”
  64. Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Resident: “No, not yet.”
  65. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Pennsylvania Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
  66. Where do Pennsylvania elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Elementary School Jokes)
  67. Where do Pennsylvania middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
  68. Where doPennsylvania high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (High School Jokes)
  69. Why did the Pennsylvania teacher jump into the pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  70. Why did the Pennsylvania teacher jump into the lake?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  71. Why did the Pennsylvania teacher jump into the river?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  72. What did Pennsylvania see?… the same thing Arkansas.
  73. Where is the #1 place to have a Halloween baseball tournament?… SpooKy Nook in Manheim, PA.
  74. Where is the #1 place to have a Halloween volleyball tournament?… SpooKy Nook in Manheim, PA.
  75. Where is the #1 place to have a Halloween wrestling tournament?… SpooKy Nook in Manheim, PA.
  76. If a plane crashed on the borders of Pennsylvania & New Jersey where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  77. If a plane crashed on the borders of Pennsylvania & New Jersey where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  78. If a plane crashed on the borders of Pennsylvania & Delaware where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  79. If a plane crashed on the borders of Pennsylvania & New Jersey where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  80. If a plane crashed on the borders of Pennsylvania & Maryland where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  81. If a plane crashed on the borders of Pennsylvania & West Virginia where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  82. If a plane crashed on the borders of Pennsylvania & Ohio where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)