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Google Search “Florida Jokes” (Florida Jokes)

  1. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Florida jokes.
  2. What’s the most popular state for dentists to move to when they retire?… Fluorida. (Dentist Jokes)
  3. What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?… All porpoise yardage! (Dolphin Jokes & NFL Jokes)
  4. What is a college chemistry professor’s favorite college football team?… The Florida State Semi moles! (Mole Day Jokes & Florida Jokes)
  5. Where do pizza makers go on vacation?… Orlandough, Florida. (Pizza Jokes)
  6. Where do bakers go on vacation?… Orlandough, Florida. (Florida Jokes)
  7. So if someone decides to ride out the hurricane instead of evacuating… Does that make them a “Flo-rida”? (Hurricane Jokes)
  8. It is in the news today that Florida is having its first remote trial via zoom… It looks like things will be settled out of court. (Lawyer Jokes)
  9. I always get a little sad during hurricane season in South Florida… you could say I have tropical depression. (Hurricane Jokes & Psychology Jokes)
  10. Where do the pianists go for vacation?… Florida Keys. (Piano Jokes & Music Jokes)
  11. Why is it easy to get into Florida?… Because there are so many keys.
  12. What does a hockey game and an airboat have in common?… Loud fans. (Ocean Jokes / Plane Jokes / Hockey Jokes)
  13. Where do a fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the St. Johns River. (Ten Longest Rivers in Florida)
  14. What is the tallest building in?… Florida Public Library of course, it has the most stories! (Library Jokes & Florida Public Libraries)
  15. Florida is so hot that people crowd around the fire to cool down.
  16. “I told him, we are not discussing changing our city’s name until he brings home that Lombardi Trophy. So Tom and I will have that discussion in due time. Yes, we will talk about that, changing ‘Tampa,’ since we are becoming a title town, to ‘Tompa Bay.’ We’ll have those discussions.” Tampa Mayor Jane Castor (Super Bowl Jokes)
  17. What did the Gulf of Mexico say to the Florida shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
  18. Why did the Florida teacher jump into the Gulf of Mexico?… He wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  19. One day, not too far off, Florida will be an entirely Blue state. With the sea level rising, it’ll be underwater.
  20. A retired Florida man was jailed for refusing to nap… …he was resisting a rest.
  21. Florida man fires gun at a retail store… It was a target.
  22. What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?… Nectarines. (Giraffe Jokes)
  23. What is the nautical chart of the Atlantic Ocean’s best pitch?… The depth curve. (Baseball Jokes)
  24. They call Florida the “Sunshine State,” which is funny because in the twelve years I lived here, it was only sunny for like twenty minutes – when the eye of the hurricane passed over my house.
  25. Do you know who would be a great spokesperson for the Florida Keys?… Alicia Keys.
  26. Did you hear the joke about Britton Hill?… You won’t get over it. (Hiking Jokes & Florida Mountains)
  27. My friend bought tickets for the Super Bowl LV on February 7th 2021 in Tampa Bay not realizing that it is also the day of his marriage. So if someone is interested… The church is in Rochester, the women’s name is Clarissa. (Wedding Jokes & Super Bowl Jokes)
  28. Florida is the sunshine state… But clearly not the brightest state.
  29. I heard that people who live in Florida are some of the most untrusting people in the country… Maybe that’s why they hide their keys in the ocean.
  30. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: Florida. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in Florida! (Teacher Jokes)
  31. I’m absolutely disgusted with the state my life is in right now Florida. I live in Florida.
  32. Where does Florida come before Utah?… The dictionary! (Grammar Jokes & Utah Jokes)
  33. Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Florida Resident: “No, not yet.”
  34. Everything in Florida is in the 80s. The Temperature, the Humidity, the Average Age, and the IQ.
  35. Can you name the capital of Florida?… “F”
  36. If a plane crashed on the borders of Florida and Georgia (Alabama) where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  37. Why are all the unemployed in Palm Beach County, Florida sitting on the dock?… An elections official said he needed help to count votes, and they all thought he said he needed help to count boats. (Fishing Jokes & Election Jokes)
  38. Florida: It’s time for me to make like presidential election ballots and disappear.
  39. Why did Forrest Gump choose ‘Bama over University of Florida?… He wanted an academic challenge!
  40. What did Florida see?… The same thing Arkansas. (Top 50 State Jokes)
  41. Where do Florida elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Elementary School Jokes)
  42. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Florida? 
  43. Did you hear about the power outage at the Florida State University library?… Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
  44. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Florida knock-knock joke?
  45. What does the average Florida high school student get on his SAT?… Drool.
  46. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Florida Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
  47. Everyone loves grandmas… Until they are in front of them on the road. (Car Jokes)
  48. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Florida knock knock jokes? (June Jokes Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  49. Why did the Florida teacher jump into the Atlantic Ocean?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  50. Boxes of previously uncounted ballots have been found in Florida Associated Press is now declaring the State of Florida for Al Gore.
  51. Florida: We’re not sure who is dumber – the politicians or the voters. (Election Jokes)
  52. Hurricanes don’t scare us. Until it’s too late to run. (Hurricane Jokes)
  53. Florida: America hates us because America ain’t us.
  54. What do you call Wall-E’s cousin who cleans floors?… Floor-E duh!
  55. How come every weird story about jail happens in Florida?
  56. What is the nautical chart of the Gulf of Mexico’s best pitch?… The depth curve.(Baseball Jokes)
  57. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Florida shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
  58. It’s a good thing Gatorade was developed at the University of Florida as opposed to Florida State… Seminole Fluid doesn’t sound quite as good.
  59. A Florida man was arrested for stealing a truck filled with $56,000 worth of Campbell’s soup. I, for one, hope this guy goes away for ‘Mmm, mmm, good!’
  60. What did Lake Kissimmee say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved. (15 Best Lakes in Florida)
  61. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Florida Turnpike!
  62. Florida is so hot that when old people retire and move to Florida it’s because they want to start practicing for Hell.
  63. Top 3 things Florida is famous for 1. old people. 2. “stand your ground” laws. 3. recounts. (Election Jokes)
  64. What’s the difference between the Florida Gators and cheerios?… One belongs in a bowl. The other doesn’t!
  65. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Suwannee River!
  66. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Apalachicola River! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  67. A cowboy and his blind horse: A man is casually crossing the Florida plains when his horse died all of the sudden. The nearest town was three days walk. So, he started to walk. 3 days later he ends up in this quiet ‘ol town but nobody had a horse for sale. So he commenced to walking to the closest town which was a two days journey. Unfortunately, nobody in that town had a horse for sale, however, he did come across this stable where the fellow runnin’ it mentioned his brother in a nearby Town had a horse for sale. He commenced to walk to this next town and 2 DAYS LATER found the guy’s brother. “I talked to your brother two days walk from here and he says you might have a horse to sell me.” “Yes I do have a horse for sale,” He replied, “But he don’t look so good.” “I don’t care. I’ll take him anyways. I’ve been walking for damn near a week now. I’m tired and I need a horse.” So he gets on the horse and the horse takes off and bumps into a tree and stops. “Heyyy, something’s wrong with this horse. I think he’s blind. YOU SOLD ME A BLIND HORSE MISTER!” “I told you Sir, THE HORSE DON’T LOOK SO GOOD!”
  68. No, really. I’ve been holding my breath for someone in Florida to use their turn signal and I haven’t breathed since 2005.
  69. I don’t know what goes on at the DMV in Florida but I’m pretty sure they just tell you not to drive into canals and they snap your picture – a hideous picture, which Floridians usually have to show the police officer after they drive into their first canal.
  70. What’s the best thing to come out of Gainesville?… I-75.
  71. Why did the Florida teacher jump into the pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  72. Why did the Florida teacher jump into the lake?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  73. Why did the Florida teacher jump into the ocean?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  74. Why did the Florida teacher jump into the river?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  75. Why do Florida students have TGIF on their shoes?… Toes Go In First!
  76. How do you make University of Florida cookies?… Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
  77. Whenever I hear a scientist say Jupiter is uninhabitable I always just assume they’re talking about the city in Florida.
  78. How many Florida State University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?… None, it’s a sophomore course.
  79. You won’t find a Jacuzzi in Florida, because if a Floridian wanted to suffocate themselves in hot steam they would just walk outside.
  80. Florida is so hot that when old people retire and move to Florida it’s because they want to start practicing for Hell.
  81. How many Justices are there on the Florida Supreme Court?… No one knows. They are not finished counting yet!
  82. Nightmares in other states are just visions of what’s really going on in Florida.
  83. Floridians like to say there aren’t roaches in Florida – there’s just “palmetto bugs.” If you don’t know what the difference between a roach and a palmetto bug is – a palmetto bug is a roach with wings that’s large enough to carry away screaming children from their mothers’ arms.
  84. How did the Florida Seminole die from drinking milk?… The cow fell on him!
  85. How do you get a man in Floridian to do sit-ups?… Put the remote control between his toes.
  86. One time I thought I saw bear in Miami but it was just a palmetto bug fist fighting a grown man on two legs.
  87. Where do Florida middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
  88. Did you hear about the blackout in Florida?… People were stuck on the escalators for 4 hrs.
  89. Where do Florida high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (High School Jokes)
  90. How many Florida men do you need before you can make change for a dollar? You can’t. Nobody in Florida has any cents.
  91. What do you call someone from Florida who has lots of teeth and likes to spend money on the stock market?… Investigator.
  92. The only difference between Florida and an oven is that an oven doesn’t produce serial killers.
  93. I went to Florida yesterday and a cop asked me if I have a criminal record… I said “No, is that still required?”
  94. Where do dentists move when they retire?… Fluorida.