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Google Search “Groundhog Day Jokes”

  1. Does anybody know any good Groundhog Day jokes?… I feel like I keep hearing the same ones over and over again. (February Jokes)
  2. Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, ‘I bet you don’t know what day this is?’ ‘Of course I do,’ he answered indignantly, as he slammed the door, and drove to his office. At 11 o’clock, the doorbell rang. The wife answered, and there at her front door was a UPS driver, in his had was a box containing 12 red roses. Later, at 2 pm there was another knock at the door, this time it was a deluxe box of Belgian chocolates. Eventually the husband came home, tired after a hard day’s work. His wife greeted him by saying: ‘First the flowers, then the chocolates, I’ve never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!’ (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes & Breakfast Jokes)
  3. What did the French groundhog see when he woke up?… His château. (World Geography Jokes)
  4. Why is coronavirus like Groundhog Day?… If you stick your head outside and encounter another person, you get 6 more weeks of quarantine. (Doctor Jokes)
  5. Which hockey player is best at forecasting the weather?… “Puck” satawny phil. (Rain Jokes & Hockey Jokes)
  6. I love February because it contains two of my favorite annual events Groundhog Day, and the State of the Union Address. One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. The other involves a groundhog. (Ground Hog Day & Presidents’ Day Jokes)
  7. What do you call Punxsutawney Phil’s laundry?… Hogwash. (Pig Jokes)
  8. Here we see the majestic Woodchuck, also known as a Groundhog which begs the question… How much ground would a ground hog hog if a ground hog could hog ground?
  9. What would you get if you crossed February 2 with a puppy?… Ground-dog Day! (Puppy Jokes)
  10. What did Peppermint Patty ask Charlie Brown when they needed to start a campfire?… Where’s the wood, Chuck
  11. What is a groundhog’s favorite book?… Holes. (Book Jokes)
  12. A groundhog tried to cross a well by burrowing under it… It didn’t go over well.
  13. Punxsutawney Phil makes conservatives out of us all. Every time it snows after February 2, I rethink my position on gun control: “I’m gonna kill that skinking groundhog!” (Election Jokes)
  14. Why did Punxsutawney Phil leave his home on February 2nd?… He needed to go buy some Valentine’s Day cards.
  15. What did the groundhog’s trainer tell him before the Summer Olympics?… Gopher gold. (Summer Olympics Jokes)
  16. What did the groundhog say when the wolf grabbed his tail?… That’s the end of me!
  17. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Pun… Pun who?… Punxsutawney Phil.
  18. Punxsutawney Phil came out and said, “Brace yourself: Six more weeks of Winter is coming!” (Winter Jokes)
  19. What happened when the groundhog met the dogcatcher?… He became a pound hog! (Dog Jokes)
  20. Why don’t they let Punxsutawney Phil watch TV?… He keeps hogging the remote.
  21. How was the Super Bowl football coach’s game plan on Groundhog day?… To use the running game of course. He wanted to “ground” it out. (Super Bowl Jokes)
  22. Where do ill groundhogs go?… The hogspital.
  23. Why was Phil kicked off the Punxsutawney soccer team?… For being a ball hog.
  24. What do you call a groundhog who drives in the center of the road?… A road hog.
  25. Groundhog Day is a classic… It sure has great replay value.
  26. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Howie… Howie who?… Howie much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
  27. Darth Vader choked Punxsutawney Phil, saying, “I find your lack of an early Spring disturbing.” (Star Wars Jokes)
  28. What does Punxsutawney Phil do at a party?… Go hog wild.
  29. What do you call a woodchuck laundromat?… A Hogwash.
  30. What do you call a fake woodchuck story?… A lot of hogwash.
  31. What happens if the ground log sees its shadow?… We’ll have six more weeks of splinters! (Tree Jokes)
  32. Why was the groundhog depressed about his den?… He was having a bad lair day! (Psychology Jokes)
  33. What is a groundhog’s favorite color?… Mahogany!
  34. What would you get if you crossed February 2 with a Christmas drink?… Ground Nog Day! (Christmas Jokes & Christmas Trivia)
  35. What do you call a groundhog that drives recklessly?… A road hog. (Car Jokes)
  36. What do you call a groundhog that plays basketball?… A ball hog. (Basketball Jokes)
  37. Where do sick groundhogs go?… to the hogpital. (Doctor Jokes)
  38. What’s green, has four legs, and jumps out of its hole on February 2?… The ground frog! (Frog Jokes)
  39. What would you get if you crossed Groundhog Day with a puppy?… Ground-dog Day! (Puppy Jokes)
  40. What do you call a woodchuck with no legs?… A groundhog.
  41. What do you call a groundhog adopted from the Humane Society?… A poundhog. (Puppy Jokes)
  42. What song was a #1 hit for groundhog Elvis?… Hound hog.
  43. What do you call a groundhog who eats too much?… A roundhog.
  44. What do you call a royal groundhog?… A crowned hog.
  45. What did the groundhog’s trainer tell him before the Winter Olympics?… Gopher gold. (Winter Olympics Jokes)
  46. How do groundhogs smell?… With their noses just like everyone else.
  47. What do you get when you cross a groundhog with a pistachio?… A green beast who predicts a dry spring, and acts like a nut.
  48. Why should you never share a bed with a woodchuck?… They always hog the covers.
  49. What do you get when you cross a groundhog with a peanut?… An animal who is nuts about predicting the start of spring.
  50. What does it mean when a ground hog sees a Maple Leaf on February 2nd?… Six more weeks of bad hockey! (Hockey Jokes)
  51. What side of the groundhog has the most hair?… The outside. (Barber Jokes)
  52. What do groundhogs put on pancakes?… Hog cabin syrup
  53. Punxsutawney Phil came out and threw his hat in the air… That means six more weeks of Mary Tyler Moore Show reruns. (Hat Jokes)
  54. What should you do if you find a groundhog sleeping in your bed?…  Sleep somewhere else. (Napping Jokes)
  55. Who leaps tall buildings with a single bound?… Superhog. (Super Hero Jokes)
  56. What do you call a groundhog’s laundry?… Hogwash.
  57. How do groundhogs smell?… With their noses. (Biology Jokes)
  58. On Groundhog Day what does it mean if the groundhog sees a stupid monster?… You’ll have six more weeks of stupidity!
  59. Punxsutawney Phil refused to come out. “Gimme just five minutes more!” he said.
  60. How did the football team win a game on Groundhog day?… They ground it out with the running game. (Groundhog Day Jokes)
  61. What animal takes up the most land?… a groundhog.
  62. How do woodchuck’s greet their parents?… With hogs and kisses!
  63. What happens if the groundskeeper sees his shadow?… We’ll have six more weeks of un-trimmed hedges.
  64. What do you call a male pig with no legs and delusions of being a weather forecaster?… Groundhog. (Pig Jokes)
  65. What do you call a pig with no legs?… Ground Hog! (Pig Jokes)
  66. What’s the American settler’s spirit animal?… The groundhog. (Social Studies Jokes)
  67. Has anyone played that weird Mexican carnival game where groundhogs pop out of holes and you have to smear them with avocado?… I really suck at Guac-a-mole. (Cinco De Mayo Jokes)
  68. Anyone know any new Groundhog Day jokes?… I keep hearing the same ones over and over and over again.
  69. What do you call a groundhog that plays in the Super Bowl?… A ball hog. (Super Bowl Jokes)
  70. What do you call a groundhog that plays soccer?… A ball hog. (Soccer Jokes)
  71. Why was Phil kicked off the Punxsutawney soccer team?… For being a ball hog.
  72. What do you call a groundhog that plays volleyball?… A ball hog. (Volleyball Jokes)
  73. What do you call a groundhog that plays lacrosse?… A ball hog. (Lacrosse Jokes)
  74. What do you call a groundhog that plays baseball?… A ball hog. (Baseball Jokes)
  75. What do you call a groundhog that plays basketball?… A ball hog. (Basketball Jokes)
  76. What do you call a groundhog that plays softball?… A ball hog. (Softball Jokes)

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