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  1. What do you call a fake noodle?… An impasta. (Pasta Jokes)
  2. What is the best type of tea?… Spaghett-tea! (Tea Jokes)
  3. What do you call something that tastes like pasta, looks like pasta but isn’t pasta?… An impasta! (Pasta Jokes)
  4. I asked the flight attendant what was in the spaghetti sauce… She said don’t worry it’s plane pasta. (Plane Jokes & Pilot Jokes)
  5. Why did the spaghetti miss the field trip?… It lost its parmesan slip. (Jokes for Teachers & Field Trip Jokes)
  6. Your dinner won’t be long… Unless it’s spaghetti.
  7. A restaurant served me soggy spaghetti… So I put in a re-straining order. (Police Jokes & Lawyer Jokes)
  8. Threw out a noodle I found in a packet of spaghetti… It was the impasta. (Pasta Jokes)
  9. Where did the spaghetti go to dance?… The meat ball! (Meatball Jokes)
  10. How did the police solve the case of the stolen marinara sauce?… They caught the thief red-handed! (Police Jokes)
  11. Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?… He pasta way. (Pasta Jokes)
  12. There was a pile up on Spaghetti Junction today. Reports say that 4 people were injured and 3 pasta way. (Pasta Jokes)
  13. What do you call a pasta that is sick?… Mac and sneeze. (Winter Jokes)
  14. What’s the difference between girl spaghetti and boy spaghetti?… Meatballs. (Meatball Jokes)
  15. When born, Arnold Schwarzenegger got a job serving spaghetti for a local coffee shop… He was known as the pasta barista baby. (Coffee Jokes & Movie Jokes)
  16. I quit eating spaghetti… Now it’s a thing of the pasta. (Pasta Jokes)
  17. My grandmother ate spaghetti everyday… until she pasta-way. (Grandparent Jokes)
  18. What did the pasta say to the cheese?… It’s grate to meet you! (Pasta Jokes & Cheese Jokes)
  19. Why couldn’t the man lift three tonnes of pasta?… He wasn’t stroganoff! (Pasta Jokes)
  20. I got food poisoning from a can of Spaghetti-O’s…. It was the most painful vowel movement of my life. (Grammar Jokes & Pasta Jokes)
  21. If I waited too long to eat my spaghetti, would I be…. Pro-pasta-nating? (Pasta Jokes)
  22. What do Italians say about pasta?… Every penne counts! (Pasta Jokes)
  23. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Noah Noah who?… Noah good Italian restaurant we can go to for dinner? (Pasta Jokes)
  24. I really like going to the Old Spaghetti Factory, but… I just wish they would make me a fresh plate. (Pasta Jokes)
  25. Did you hear about the Italian man who pasta way?… Now he’s a pizza history! (Pizza Jokes)
  26. What do you call a pasta that doesn’t have any friends?… Ravi-lonely! (Pasta Jokes)
  27. Spaghetti wife is sitting the the waiting room, waiting for her husband to get out of surgery. The doctor walks in and says ” I’m sorry to inform you but your husband pasta-way.”
  28. Did you hear about the guy who died from eating spaghetti?… He pasta way.
  29. Spaghetti with Meatballs isn’t real Italian cuisine. It’s made in America, posing as Italian cuisine. Spaghetti with Meatballs is an IMPASTA! (Pasta Jokes & Meatball Jokes)
  30. My sister bet me a $1,000,000 that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta. (Car Jokes)
  31. What is the dress code at a pasta prom?… Bowtie. (Prom Jokes)
  32. Why didn’t the fettuccine go out for Halloween?… It was too alfredo! (Pasta Jokes & Halloween Jokes)
  33. Why did the meatballs tell the spaghetti to go to sleep?… It was pasta bedtime. (Pasta Jokes)
  34. Where does a good Christian spaghetti go when he needs guidance?… To his local pasta.
  35. Why is bad code also referred to as ‘spaghetti code’?… Because it was written by IT-aliens. (Computer Jokes)
  36. What do you call it when someone cries because their spaghetti is vegetarian?… meat bawl! (Meatball Jokes)
  37. Did you hear that the spaghetti noodle got into a car accident?… Paramedics tried to save him, but in the end, he pasta-way. (Pasta Jokes)
  38. What did the pasta say to the tomato?… Don’t get saucy with me! (Pasta Jokes)
  39. Why wouldn’t Ebenezer Scrooge eat at the pasta restaurant?… It cost a pretty penne! (Christmas Jokes & Pasta Jokes)
  40. What did the macaroni say to the spaghetti in the boxing ring?… Come and spaghet it! (Boxing Jokes)
  41. I tried to build a car out of spaghetti, my wife lost her temper and said it would never work and threatened to leave me, anyway, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta. After a while my obsession got the better of me and she walked out… Now I’m feeling cannelloni.
  42. What do you call a dodgy neighborhood in Italy?.. A Spaghetto.
  43. A man goes to the doctor with a carrot sticking out of his ear.. a banana in his other ear, spaghetti on his head and a sausage sticking out of his nose. He says “Doctor, I’m not feeling very well”. Doctor replies “Hmmm, I don’t think you’re eating properly.” (Doctor Jokes)
  44. What’s the most humorous kind of pasta?…Chortle-ini!
  45. How do you say goodbye to an Italian chef?… Pasta la vista! (Pasta Jokes)
  46. What do you call a sad noodle?… Upsetti spaghetti! (Pasta Jokes)
  47. Why wouldn’t the family eat at the pasta restaurant?… Because it cost a pretty penne! (Pasta Jokes)
  48. What type of pasta clings to everything?… Clinguine! (Pasta Jokes)
  49. What type of pasta does the Pope eat?… Holy macaroni! (Pasta Jokes)
  50. What is the scariest type of pasta sauce?… Mushroom and ghost cheese! (Pasta Jokes & Ghost Jokes)
  51. Eating Dinner With My Friends One of them, sitting at the end of the table, points at the spaghetti in a container placed in the middle of the table. Me: “What do you want?” Him “Pasta bowl.” (Pasta Jokes)
  52. Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus. In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. He presented with vomit on his sweater already. Initial testing has revealed it was mom’s spaghetti. (Music Jokes)
  53. They say you are what you eat… but I am not spaghetti!
  54. What did the penne say to the macaroni when they were walking slowly?… Go pasta! Go pasta! (Walking Jokes & Pasta Jokes)
  55. Why couldn’t the Italian pasta get into his house?… Because he had gnocchi! (Pasta Jokes)
  56. What is the dress code at a pasta convention?… Bowtie. (Pasta Jokes)
  57. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Pasta Pasta who?… Pasta salt please. (Pasta Jokes)
  58. What did the spaghetti say to the lasagna as he was murdering him… Pasta La vista, Baby! (Movie Jokes & Pasta Jokes)
  59. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Sid… Sid who?… Sid down, it’s time to eat our pasta! (Pasta Jokes)
  60. What did the ravioli play at his birthday party?… Pasta parcel! (Pasta Jokes)
  61. How do you cook divine spaghetti?… Al Dante. (Pasta Jokes)
  62. What do you get when you make a dish with marinara and alfredo sauce?… The best of both pasta-bowl worlds! (Pasta Jokes)
  63. What kind of dish does an impasta make?… Faked ziti! (Pasta Jokes)
  64. What do you call pasta that you haven’t eaten yet?… Futura! (Pasta Jokes)
  65. What do you call partially cooked pasta that’s on fire?… Aldente’s Inferno!
  66. What do Italians eat on halloween?… Fetuccini A-fraid-o! (Halloween Jokes)
  67. What kind of pasta grants wishes?… Fettugenie! (Pasta Jokes)
  68. What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say before eating pasta?… PASTA LA VISTA BABY. (Pasta Jokes & Movie Jokes)
  69. What does an Irishman get after eating Italian lasagna?… Gaelic breath! (St. Patrick’s Day Jokes & Pasta Jokes)
  70. Why didn’t the ravioli get invited to hang out with the cool pastas?… Because he was a little square! (Geometry Jokes for Teachers & Pasta Jokes)
  71. Do you know the Ghostbusters’ catchphrase in Italian?… I ain’t alfredo no ghost! (Ghost Jokes / Pasta Jokes / Movie Jokes)
  72. What did mummy pasta say to baby pasta?… It’s pasta your bedtime! (Mom Jokes & Pasta Jokes)
  73. What would you get if you crossed pasta with a snake?… Spaghetti that wraps itself around a fork. (Snake Jokes)
  74. What type of pasta do they serve at the haunted house?… Fettuccini afraido! (Halloween Jokes)
  75. My Mom thinks I’m an idiot because I’m building my own car out of spaghetti… She won’t be laughing when I drive pasta!
  76. I asked a friend about the Flying Spaghetti Monster… He said “Well, it boils down to this!”
  77. I was teaching my son to cook spaghetti bolognese, he asked “How do I know when the spaghetti is ready?” “Ah, that’s the magic bit! You throw it at the wall and if it sticks, it’s ready!” I smiled. From over my shoulder I heard the clatter of a pan hitting the wall, then a voice said “Some of it stuck…”
  78. Why is it so hard to eat spaghetti?… I’m not sure, but I heard it was in pasta bowl.
  79. How much thyme does Mike Tyson put into his spaghetti?… About twenty minutes.
  80. So I went to buy some spaghetti at the store… It was so crowded to I grabbed one packet and ran out. I pasta-out in the process…
  81. What did the cheese say to the spaghetti?… I’m gonna touch you. Do I have your parmesan?
  82. My best friend’s mum passed away recently. A month before his birthday too so that blew. On his birthday his dad asks me if I could help make a present which might remind him of his mum. I was a bit apprehensive but I agreed. All I had to do was being a can of crushed tomatoes and some flour. On his birthday, during the small gathering of friends, his father brings out a small dish of pasta and sauce. It was his mum’s recipe. He got so happy and sad and excited that he had a bit of a panic attack and threw up. His palms sweaty, knees weak arms are heavy there’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti.
  83. Alphabetti Spaghetti makes a handy ouija board… …for contacting people who’ve pasta way.
  84. My wife asked how you could tell if spaghetti was done, so I said throw it against the wall. If it sticks, it’s done. Imagine my surprise when I went into the kitchen to find sauce all over the wall.
  85. Pasta Puns: Nothing is impastable.
  86. Pasta Puns: Penne for your thoughts.
  87. Pasta Puns: Pasta la vista baby!
  88. Pasta Puns: Tortellini in love with you.
  89. Pasta Puns: It cost a pretty penne!
  90. Pasta Puns: This pasta is tortellini awesome!
  91. Pasta Puns: Come and spaghet it!
  92. Pasta Puns: You’re quite a dish!
  93. Pasta Puns: I’m feeling a little saucy today!
  94. Pasta Puns: Your future is full of pastabilities.
  95. Pasta Puns: I want to pasta time away with you.
  96. Pasta Puns: I cannelloni believe how good this pasta is.
  97. Pasta Puns:Hope you gnocchi how wonderful you are.
  98. Pasta Puns: My friend argued with me that you can’t make a car out of spaghetti.. you should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
  99. Pasta Puns: A lady asked me if I needed help when I was choking on some alphabet pasta. She took the words right out of my mouth!
  100. Pasta Puns: I stopped eating Italian food, now that’s a thing of the pasta!
  101. Pasta Puns: This may sound a bit cheesy, but it is so grate to see you.
  102. Pasta Puns: If I waited too long to eat my ravioli… would I be pro-pasta-anting?
  103. Pasta Puns: I’ve been trying to come up with a good pasta joke but it’s in pasta bowl!
  104. Did you hear about the man with a car made out of pasta?… He got in a crash and now his car’s al dente!
  105. I was fired from my job in the pasta factory, I make fusilli mistakes!
  106. A scientist took his dog to work to help experiment on pasta… It’s labranoodle!
  107. Did you hear that my sister ate three bowls of spaghetti?… No, but I wouldn’t put it pasta!
  108. There once was a farmer whose five quintuplet teenage daughters were going on dates at the same time. “As soon as your dates arrive,” said the farmer, “I will talk to them personally. If I don’t like them, I will shoot them.” Just then, a knock was heard at the door. The farmer answered the door, shotgun in hand. “Who is this?” “My name’s Teddy,” said the boy. “I’m going steady with Betty. We’re getting spaghetti. Is she ready?” “I don’t see any harm in this guy,” thought the farmer. So off went Teddy and Betty to get spaghetti. Just then, another knock was heard at the door. The farmer answered the door, shotgun in hand. “Who is this?” “My name’s Joe,” said the boy. “I want you to know that I’m taking Flo to the show. Can we go? Yes or no?” “I don’t see any harm in this guy,” thought the farmer. So off went Joe and Flo to the show. Just then, a third knock was heard at the door. The farmer answered the door, shotgun in hand. “Who is this?” “My name’s Nate,” said the boy. “I hope I’m not late for my date with Kate. We’re going to skate, which I think will be great.” “I don’t see any harm in this guy,” thought the farmer. So off went Nate and Kate to skate. Just then, a fourth knock was heard at the door. The farmer answered the door, shotgun in hand. “Who is this?” “My name’s Lance,” said the boy. “I’m taking Nance to the high school dance, which is themed like Paris, France. Is she ready for our romance, by chance?” “I don’t see any harm in this guy,” thought the farmer. So off went Lance and Nance to the dance. Just then, a fifth knock was heard at the door. The farmer answered the door, shotgun in hand. “Who is this?” “My name’s Chuck,” said the boy. Then he died.
  109. Pasta joke trilogy My girlfriend refused to believe a spaghetti bike could work. You should’ve seen her face when I rode pasta. Things took a turn for the worse when I was fired from my job at the pasta factory. Fusilli mistakes. To top it all off, my girlfriend said she couldn’t stand me touching pasta all the time, so she left. I’m feeling cannelloni right now.
  110. My Dad told me this one a long time ago and I still remember it every time we have meatballs. There is a man who goes to a spanish restaurant after a big bull fight. He sits down and looks at the menu. The waiter then comes over and asks what he will have. The man once again looks down at the menu and spots “meatballs de toro”. The man decides to have these. Later, the waiter comes back out with these two massive steaming meatballs on a nice place of spaghetti. The man eats them up and they are delicious. Weeks later, the man goes back to the same restaurant after another bull fight and gets the meatballs again. Like last time, two massive steaming meatballs come out and they are amazing. The third time this man comes to the restaurant after a bull fight, he orders the meatballs still. When they come out, these two scrawny, tiny meatballs come out on the plate and the man asks the waiter why they are so small. The waiter says “Oh Senor, the matador, he don’t always win.”
  111. There was once an old farmer whose only virtue was 3 beautiful daughters. One night, they were all going out on dates with their respective beaus. There came a knock at the door, and he answered. “Hi!” said the young man standing there. “My name’s Joe. I’m here to pick up Flo. we’re going to the show. Is she ready to go?” “Yes, I’ll go and get her” said the farmer. About 10 minutes later there’s another knock. “Hi, my name’s Eddy. I’m here to pick up Betty. We’re going to eat spaghetti. Is she ready?” So the farmer goes and fetches her. Another 10 minutes go by, and there’s a 3rd knock. “Hi, my name’s Tucker…” And before he can say another word, the farmer grabs him by the neck, drags him out the back, and shoots him.
  112. For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18…. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write ‘Spaghetti’ on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin… One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. ‘Honey’, she said, ‘you received a very strange post card today’.’Oh, really? Let me see…’, he said. The wife gave it to him and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. On the card was written: ‘Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without. Send extra sauce.’
  113. My mom laughed at me when I said I was going to build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face as I drove pasta.