Armed Forces Day Jokes

by | May 13, 2023 | careers, Dads, Latest News

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Army Jokes

  1. Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings! (Memorial Day Knock Knock Jokes)
  2. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best army jokes.
  3. What do you call a military tree who doesn’t return on time?… Absent without leaf. (Tree Jokes)
  4. What did you do before becoming a dentist?… “I was in the army… I was a drill sergeant.” (Dentist Jokes)
  5. Where can you find Dumbledore’s Army?… Up his sleeve-y! (Harry Potter Jokes)
  6. Where does the King Charles keep his armies?… In his sleevies. (Top 50 Coronation Jokes)
  7. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about the army?
  8. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good army knock-knock joke?
  9. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good army knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  10. Did you know you can’t eat ice cream in the military?… Apparently you get arrested for desserting. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  11. Why did the soldier stuff himself with ice cream? He was a desserter. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  12. An ice cream, a creme brulee, and a slice of cheesecake joined the army, but they abandoned their fellow soldiers on their first deployment They are wanted for dessertion. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  13. When I lost my rifle, the army charged me $255.99. That’s why in the navy, the captain goes down with the ship.
  14. Army soldiers can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the navy can fathom it.
  15. A lot of people assume pirates prefer to be in the navy…. But actually they prefer the arrrrrrrrmy. (Army Jokes & Pirate Jokes)
  16. How do you fight a killer bee?… With a Buzz-ooka. (Bee Jokes)
  17. Who was the funniest person in George Washington’s army?… Laughayette. (Presidents Day Jokes)
  18. I became a chef after I left the army… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran. (Labor Day Jokes & Veterans Day Jokes)
  19. There are two turtles in a tank… one says to the other, “how do you drive this thing?” (Turtle Jokes)
  20. Which one of Washington’s officer’s had the best sense of humor?… Laughafayette.
  21. How is Tigger like a sergeant in the army?… They both wear stripes. (Winnie the Pooh Jokes)
  22. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the army?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! (Veterans Day Jokes & Army Jokes)
  23. What month do all troops hate?… March.
  24. What did the commander say to his troops?… March 4th! (March Jokes & Veterans’ Day Jokes)
  25. How did George Washington speak to during his 1st presidential Inauguration?…. In general terms. (Veterans Day Jokes & Inauguration Jokes)

Navy Jokes

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Navy jokes.
  2. A captain notices a light in the distance, on a collision course with his ship. He turns on his signal lamp and sends, “Change your course, 10 degrees west.” The light signals back, “Change yours, 10 degrees east.” The captain gets a little annoyed. He signals, “I’m a US Navy captain. You must change your course, sir.” The light signals back, “I’m a Seaman First Class. You must change your course, sir.” Now the captain is mad. He signals, “I’m an aircraft carrier. I’m not changing my course.” The light signals back a final message: “I’m a lighthouse. Your call.”
  3. Why do they actually prefer non-swimmers in the Navy?… They defend their ship with a lot more enthusiasm. (Swimming Jokes)
  4. Navy jet pilot: This is it! We’re flying faster than the speed of sound! Copilot: What? (Pilot Jokes & Plane Jokes)
  5. A lot of people assume pirates prefer to be in the navy…. But actually they prefer the arrrrrrrrmy. (Army Jokes & Pirate Jokes)
  6. What grades do you need to join the Navy?… 7 C’s. (Jokes for Teachers)
  7. Army soldiers can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the Navy can fathom it. (Army Jokes & Covid Jokes)
  8. What do you call a military tree who doesn’t return on time?… Absent without leaf. (Tree Jokes)
  9. The navy is beginning to recruit blind men… They are sending them out to sea.
  10. I became a chef after I left the navy… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran. (Labor Day Jokes & Veterans Day Jokes)
  11. When I lost my rifle, the army charged me $255.99. That’s why in the navy, the captain goes down with the ship. (Army Jokes)
  12. What did the Navy say to the coast guards?… “I’ll SEAL you later.” (Seal Jokes & Coast Guard Jokes)
  13. Did you know you can’t eat ice cream in the military?… Apparently you get arrested for desserting. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  14. Why did the soldier stuff himself with ice cream?… He was a desserter. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  15. An ice cream, a creme brulee, and a slice of cheesecake joined the army, but they abandoned their fellow soldiers on their first deployment They are wanted for dessertion. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  16. Why is there no Jedi navy?… Sailing is a path to the dockside. (Star Wars Jokes)
  17. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the Navy?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! (Veterans Day Jokes & Karate Jokes)
  18. I wanted to join the Navy… But that ship has sailed… I’ll sea myself out. (Labor Day Jokes)
  19. A cool job that sounds lame: Building boats for the navy… You’d be a subcontractor. (Labor Day Jokes)
  20. If Harrison Ford’s son were in the Navy, what would be his favorite city?… Indy-Annapolis. (Movie Jokes & Indiana Jokes)
  21. The US Navy will start to equip all their subs with emotional support dogs. After a lot study, they decided on Dachshunds… They will be subma-weiners. (Dog Jokes & Psychology Jokes)
  22. Dad: You wanna join the navy? You can’t even swim! Son: no one can fly in the Air Force either. (Dad Jokes)
  23. Did you hear about the Super Bowl player who asked his coach to flood the field so he could go in as a sub? (Veteran’s Day Jokes & Memorial Day Jokes)
  24. What color are military submarines?… Deep navy. (Crayon Jokes)
  25. I’m about to lose my job in the Navy unless I make some drastic changes… I have to take a course in anchor management. (Labor Day Jokes & Psychology Jokes)

Air Force Jokes

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Air Force jokes.
  2. Where do American soldiers go to get a haircut?… They go to the Hair Force. (Barber Jokes & Air Force Jokes)
  3. I became a chef after I left the Air Force… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran. (Labor Day Jokes & Veterans Day Jokes)
  4. How do you play Air Force Bingo?… “A-10… B-52… F-16!” (Retirement Jokes & Plane Jokes)
  5. Did you know you can’t eat ice cream in the Air Force?… Apparently you get arrested for desserting. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  6. Where did Bugs Bunny learn to fly?… The hare force.
  7. What do you call a deer enlisted in the Air Force?… A bombardeer.
  8. Air Force Fact: The only time you can have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.
  9. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the Air Force?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! (Veterans Day Jokes & Karate Jokes)
  10. Air Force jet pilot: This is it! We’re flying faster than the speed of sound! Copilot: What? (Pilot Jokes & Plane Jokes)
  11. A small boy was staring at the names on the wall of an old church when the pastor noticed him. “What are you looking at?” asked the clergyman. “All those names. Who are they?” the boy asked. The pastor nodded, and said, “They are the reason we have Memorial Day. They are those who died in the service.” The little boy considered that, then asked quietly, “The 9 o’clock service or the 11 o’clock?” (Cemetery Jokes)
  12. What do you call a military tree who doesn’t return on time?… Absent without leaf. (Tree Jokes)
  13. There was a bad accident at the Air Force base… A jeep ran over a bag of popcorn and killed two kernels. (Veterans Day Jokes / Popcorn Jokes / Air Force Jokes)
  14. Dad: You wanna join the navy? You can’t even swim! Son: no one can fly in the Air Force either. (Dad Jokes)
  15. Where do rabbits learn to fly?… The hare force.
  16. Emergency management: “Always remember that if one engine fails on a dual-engine plane, you’ll still have enough power to safely reach the scene of the crash.”
  17. An ice cream, a creme brulee, and a slice of cheesecake joined the Air Force, but they abandoned their fellow soldiers on their first deployment… They are wanted for dessertion. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  18. What do pilots and air traffic controllers have in common?… If pilots screw up, they die. If air traffic controllers screw up, pilots also die.
  19. Each branch has a military ball (Navy Ball, Army Ball, etc.) And it warms my heart to know that one branch will be having “Space Balls” from here on out. (Dance Jokes & Astronomy Jokes)
  20. Air Force soldiers can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the navy can fathom it. (Army Jokes)
  21. Just because there are no complaints, doesn’t all mean parachutes are perfect.
  22. Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings! (Memorial Day Knock Knock Jokes)
  23. Why did the Air Force member stuff himself with ice cream?… He was a desserter. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  24. What is a cow’s favorite holiday?… Moomorial day. (Cow Jokes)
  25. How many Air Force pilots does it take to change a light bulb?… One. He just holds it while the world revolves around him.

Marine Jokes

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best dessert jokes.
  2. What do you call a military tree who doesn’t return on time?… Absent without leaf. (Tree Jokes)
  3. What do you call a house with an ice-cream sundae on top?… Beats me… “Desserted!” (Ice Cream Jokes)
  4. Did you know you can’t eat ice cream in the military?… Apparently you get arrested for desserting. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  5. Why did the soldier stuff himself with ice cream? He was a desserter. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  6. An ice cream, a creme brulee, and a slice of cheesecake joined the army, but they abandoned their fellow soldiers on their first deployment They are wanted for dessertion. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  7. Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings! (Memorial Day Knock Knock Jokes)
  8. Where does the Navy rank amongst the armed forces?… Submarines. (Marine Jokes)
  9. I tried out for the Marines but fell just short of their requirements. So they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine. (Marine Jokes)
  10. What do you call a Marine who joins the Navy?… A Sub-Marine.
  11. I became a chef after I left the Marines… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran. (Labor Day Jokes & Veterans Day Jokes)
  12. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the marines?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! (Veterans Day Jokes & Karate Jokes)
  13. A small boy was staring at the names on the wall of an old church when the pastor noticed him. “What are you looking at?” asked the clergyman. “All those names. Who are they?” the boy asked. The pastor nodded, and said, “They are the reason we have Memorial Day. They are those who died in the service.” The little boy considered that, then asked quietly, “The 9 o’clock service or the 11 o’clock?” (Cemetery Jokes)
  14. What is a cow’s favorite holiday?… Moomorial day. (Cow Jokes)
  15. Who won the zombie war?…Nobody, it was dead even. (Zombie Jokes)
  16. Navy / Air Force / Marine / Space Force / Coast Guard jet pilot: This is it! We’re flying faster than the speed of sound! Copilot: What? (Pilot Jokes & Plane Jokes)
  17. Army Navy / Air Force / Marine / Space Force / Coast Guard soldiers can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the navy can fathom it. (Army Jokes)
  18. What did the Navy say to the Navy / Air Force / Marine / Space Force / Coast Guard?… “I’ll SEAL you later.” (Seal Jokes & Coast Guard Jokes)
  19. I became a chef after I left the Navy / Air Force / Marine / Space Force / Coast Guard.. Some would say I am a seasoned veteran. (Labor Day Jokes & Veterans Day Jokes)
  20. The navy / Coast Guard is beginning to recruit blind men… They are sending them out to sea.
  21. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the Navy / Air Force / Marine / Space Force / Coast Guard?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! (Veterans Day Jokes & Karate Jokes)
  22. A cool job that sounds lame: Building boats for the navy /Coast gaurd… You’d be a subcontractor. (Labor Day Jokes)
  23. Dad: You wanna join the navy? You can’t even swim! Son: no one can fly in the Air Force either. (Dad Jokes)
  24. I’m about to lose my job in the Navy Cost Guard unless I make some drastic changes… I have to take a course in anchor management. (Labor Day Jokes & Psychology Jokes)
  25. What happens when you eat too many Navy Navy / Air Force / Marine / Space Force / Coast Guard beans?… You might end up with a dishonorable discharge.

Coast Guard Jokes

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Coast Guard jokes.
  2. Did you know you can’t eat ice cream in the Coast Guard?… Apparently you get arrested for desserting. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  3. What do you call a military tree who doesn’t return on time?… Absent without leaf. (Tree Jokes)
  4. Why did the Coast Guard officer stuff himself with ice cream?… He was a desserter. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  5. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about the Coast Guard?
  6. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Coast Guard knock-knock joke?
  7. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Coast Guard knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  8. An ice cream, a creme brulee, and a slice of cheesecake joined the army, but they abandoned their fellow soldiers on their first deployment They are wanted for dessertion. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  9. Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings! (Memorial Day Knock Knock Jokes)
  10. What did the Navy say to the coast guards?… “I’ll SEAL you later.” (Seal Jokes & Coast Guard Jokes)
  11. I became a chef after I left the Coast Guard… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran. (Labor Day Jokes & Veterans Day Jokes)
  12. Did you know Coast Guard ships run on commercial batteries?… They run on 7 C’s.
  13. I’m about to lose my job in the Cost Guard unless I make some drastic changes… I have to take a course in anchor management. (Labor Day Jokes & Psychology Jokes)
  14. A distress call comes in to Pierre at the Maine coast guard: “Mayday! Mayday. We’re 12 miles out on a capsized boat.” “No can do” Pierre said, “We’ve got all we can do searching for regular-sized boats.” (Sailing Jokes & Maine Jokes)
  15. Coast Guard jet pilot: This is it! We’re flying faster than the speed of sound! Copilot: What? (Pilot Jokes & Plane Jokes)
  16. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Coast Guard knock-knock joke?
  17. What happens when you eat too many Coast Guard beans?… You might end up with a dishonorable discharge.
  18. Dad: You wanna join the Coast Guard? You can’t even swim! Son: nN one can fly in the Air Force either. (Dad Jokes)
  19. The Coast Guard is beginning to recruit blind men… They are sending them out to sea.
  20. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the Coast Guard?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! (Veterans Day Jokes & Karate Jokes)
  21. Where do Coast Guard seamen go when they get sick?… The dock.
  22. Why couldn’t the Coast Guard save the hippie?… He was too far out man!
  23. Coast Guard cadets can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the navy can fathom it. (Army Jokes)
  24. A cool job that sounds lame: Building boats for the Coast Guard… You’d be a subcontractor. (Labor Day Jokes)
  25. A small boy was staring at the names on the wall of an old church when the pastor noticed him. “What are you looking at?” asked the clergyman. “All those names. Who are they?” the boy asked. The pastor nodded, and said, “They are the reason we have Memorial Day. They are those who died in the service.” The little boy considered that, then asked quietly, “The 9 o’clock service or the 11 o’clock?” (Cemetery Jokes)