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More May Day Jokes…

  1. Did you hear Ted Danson is the spokesperson for May Day… Of course, he played Sam “May Day” Malone in the sitcom Cheers. (Baseball Jokes)
  2. Did you hear the joke about Labor Day?… It doesn’t work for me!
  3. Father: Do you know, most people don’t have to work today, because it’s Labour Day. Son: If people are not working, shouldn’t we call today ‘No-Labour Day?’
  4. Did you hear the joke about Labor Day?… It works for me!
  5. One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.  However, the only person to get his work done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.
  6. If a train station is where the train stops, and a bus station is where the bus stops, what is a work station?
  7. If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
  8. “It’s a recession when your neighbour loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose your own.” Harry S. Truman
  9. I asked a little girl do you know why we get out of school for Labor Day? She was very enthusiastic to say “It is a time when all the mommys of the world go into labor”
  10. If today is labor day, how many babies were born?
  11. My first job was in an orange juice factory, but I couldn’t concentrate on the same old boring rind, so I got canned.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that, I tried working in a donut shop, but I soon got tired of the hole business.

I manufactured calendars, but my days were numbered.

I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. Mainly because it was a sew-sew job, de-pleating and de-pressing.

I took a job as an upholsterer, but I never recovered.

I tried working in a car muffler factory, but that was exhausting.

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it.

Then I was a pilot, but tended to wing it, and I didn’t have the right altitude.

I studied to become a doctor, but I didn’t have enough patients for the job.

I became a Velcro salesman, but I couldn’t stick with it.

I tried my hand at a professional career in tennis, but it wasn’t my racket. I was too high strung.

I became a baker, but it wasn’t a cakewalk, and I couldn’t make enough dough. They fired me after I left a cake out in the rain.

I was a masseur for a while, but I rubbed people the wrong way.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

I became a personal trainer in a gym, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.

I thought about being a historian, but I couldn’t see a future in it.

Next I was an electrician, but I found the work shocking and revolting, so they discharged me.

I tried being a teacher, but I soon lost my principal, my faculties, and my class.

I turned to farming, but I wasn’t outstanding in my field.

I took a job as an elevator operator. The job had its ups and downs, and I got the shaft.

I sold origami, but the business folded.

I took a job at UPS, but I couldn’t express myself.

I tried being a fireman, but I suffered burnout.

I became a banker, but I lacked interest and maturity, and finally withdrew from the job.

I was a professional fisherman, but I couldn’t live on my net income.

I next worked in a shoe factory, but I just didn’t fit in. They thought I was a loafer, and I got the boot.

I worked at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

So I’ve retired, and I find I’m a perfect fit for this job!