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  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Bastille Day jokes.
  2. I was telling a great joke about the importance of the guillotine in the French Revolution… But it didn’t really land…. I guess execution really is key!
  3. What did Marie Antoinette always chant on Fat Tuesday?… Let them eat king cake! (Cake Jokes)
  4. Why is the French Revolution just like Prohibition?… They both got rid of Bourbon! (Beer Jokes)
  5. During the French Revolution, what was the executioner’s catch phrase?… “First come, first severed!”
  6. Why were nobles decapitated during the French Revolution?… The peasants thought they were getting just too far a head.
  7. Whoever thought of the idea of the French Revolution was very thorough… while the concept was mostly raw, the execution was flawless.
  8. How scared were the French royalty during the French Revolution?… They completely lost their heads. (King Jokes)
  9. How do I celebrate Bastille Day?… I storm my wine rack.
  10. Basketball Jokes for Bastille Day: How did analysts describe the 2024 NBA draft with FOUR FRENCH players drafted in the 1st round?… Another French Revolution.
  11. Basketball Jokes for Bastille Day: How did analysts describe the 2024 NBA draft with FOUR FRENCH players drafted in the 1st round?… “Très bien, mon ami.” (French Translation: Very good my friend.)
  12. A Priest, a Politician, and an Engineer are set to be executed by guillotine during the French Revolution.The Executioner brings the Priest up first. He ask him if he’d like to lie facing down or facing up for his death. He responds that he would like to be facing up, so he can see the heavens while he’s going to God. So the Executioner lays the Priest down in the guillotine facing up. He then releases the guillotine blade, and the blade stops just inches from the Priests neck. The Priest immediately begins praising his God, the crowd gasps in shock and demands that the man be released by The Executioner,–as God has clearly saved him from death. He agrees, and releases him as a free man.The Executioner next brings up the Politician. He asks him same question, and having witnessed the Priest’s miraculous experience, he asks to be laid facing up for his execution as well, hoping that God will spare him for looking to heaven while facing his death as the Priest had done. The Executioner obliges, then releases the blade. But again, it suddenly stops just inches from the man’s neck–sparing his life as it had with the Priest.Finally, the Engineer is brought up to face his execution. He requests to lie facing up as the previous two men had done. Again, the Executioner obliges and lays him on his back before going to release the blade. As the Executioner is about to release it, the Engineer says to the Executioner “Hold on, I see your problem right there.”
  13. Did you hear the joke about Bastille Day?… It’s a riot.
  14. Why did King Louis despise the peasants?… He found them revolting. (King Jokes)
  15. Bastille Day is just like the Fourth of July… except it takes place in France and we don’t care about it! (4th of July Jokes)
  16. Do you know that the French Revolution was kind of a pain in the neck?… But once it was over it was a weight off of some people’s shoulders.
  17. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Francis… Francis who?… France is a country in Europe that celebrates Bastille Day. (World Geography Jokes)
  18. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the last French king to be coronated? (Top 50 Coronation Jokes & Canoe Jokes)
  19. What is the Guillotine?… A French chopping center. (Black Friday Jokes)
  20. I’m still upset they marked me wrong on my 7th grade history test on the question “what did they set up during the French Revolution?… “I maintain that “lots and lots of guillotines” is technically correct.
  21. What do you call Leonardo DiCaprio in a movie about the French Revolution?… Leonardo DiCapitated. (Movie Jokes)
  22. A kid was talking to his dad about Bastille Day. He said, “Isn’t that the day when everyone robs all the fish from the water?” “Bass-steal day.” (Fishing Jokes)
  23. What do you call a French guy in sandals on Bastille Day?… Phillipe Phloppe. (Summer Jokes)
  24. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Bastille Day?
  25. Have you ever seen the play about the French Revolution?… The scene with Marie Antoinette was perfectly executed.
  26. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the date of Bastille Day?
  27. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the history of Bastille Day?
  28. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the country that celebrates Bastille Day?
  29. What is the most delicious number in French? Cent? Deux cent? Trois cent?… C’est croissant!
  30. What did the Aristocrat say when he heard the French Revolution happening in the streets?… “Oh! What a peasant surprise!”
  31. When I was a kid, my parents would always say “Excuse my French” after a swear word… I’ll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any French.
  32. How do Americans celebrate Bastille Day?… By storming their wine cellar. (Beer Jokes)
  33. 3 aristocrats in the French Revolution: So during the reign of terror in the French Revolution, there was a line of aristocrats waiting to be executed by guillotine. Near the middle of the line, there was a clergyman, an artist, and an engineer. The clergyman got up to the chopping block and said a short prayer, and miraculously when the guillotine dropped to kill him, it stopped just inches from his neck.The artist was amazed and started praying feverishly. When he got up to the gallows, the ax-man pulled the rope and the blade slid down quickly but stopped about a foot above his neck. Both the artist and clergyman were set free.Then the engineer was called up to the platform, and the undertaker said, ‘Well, son, would you like to say a prayer as well?’ The engineer said “Ya know, a little WD-40 would loosen that blade right up!“
  34. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Bastille Day knock-knock joke?
  35. What is the most important part of jokes about the French Revolution?… The execution.
  36. What does a frog in Paris eat on Bastille Day?… French Flies.
  37. What do they call Independence Day in France?… A Royale-free with cheese!
  38. So my friend got annoyed that I kept singing Pompeii by Bastille, so they told me to stop… How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
  39. What do you call French macaroni?… Sbaguete and croissant.
  40. French people who celebrate Bastille Day give me the crepes. 
  41. What do you call your father’s angry French sister?… Your croissant.
  42. A French nobleman’s estate was destroyed during the French Revolution… The results were château-strophic.
  43. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Bastille Day knock knock jokes? (June Jokes Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  44. How did Robespierre exit the building?… He used the Thermidor.
  45. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Parton!… Parton who?… Parton me. Is it Bastille Day?
  46. Why do French bakers always bake extra bread on Bastille Day?… Because they know everyone’s going to “storm” their bakery!
  47. What’s a ghost’s favorite part of Bastille Day?… The “boo-langeries.” (Ghost Jokes)
  48. What was the primary role of the aristocrats during the French Revolution?… They put their head into it.
  49. Why don’t they play cards in France on Bastille Day?… Because everyone’s afraid of the “revolutionary” hand!
  50. What do you call Leonardo DiCaprio in a movie about the French Revolution?… Leonardo DiCapitated. (Movie Jokes)
  51. In the French Navy, it’s considered unlucky to have the number 5 in a ship’s name… Because all of the ships with that number in their name… cinq. (Navy Jokes)
  52. When I went to France to learn how to ski… I even needed Alp getting on the chairlift.
  53. What salad topping do you find at ACE hardware?… Wrench Dressing! (Lettuce Jokes & Salad Jokes)
  54. The French cheese factory was affected by an earthquake… Only de brie was left. (Cheese Jokes / Bastille Day Jokes / World Geography Jokes / Earthquake Jokes)
  55. What do they call Independence Day in France?… A Royale-free with cheese!
  56. Which ghost was president of France?… Charles de Ghoul. (Ghost Jokes)
  57. Who is the most famous French ant?… Napoleant! (Ant Jokes)
  58. Why do the French like to eat snails?… Because they don’t like fast food! (Fast Food Jokes)
  59. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Francis Francis who?… France is a country in Europe. (World Geography Jokes)
  60. Did you know today is Pancake day… apparently it just creped up on us. (Pancake Jokes)
  61. What did the Grinch say when he was caught stealing from a French art museum?… I did it for the Monet! (Art Jokes)
  62. What do you call a person who is not a dad who makes dad jokes?… A Faux Pa. (Father’s Day Jokes)
  63. Why do French People eat snails?… Because they don’t like fast food! (Fast Food Jokes)
  64. What do you call a French guy in sandals?… Phillipe Phloppe. (Summer Jokes)
  65. Where do fruits go on vacation?… Pear-is. (Travel Blogs)
  66. How does every French joke start?… By looking over your shoulder.
  67. Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?… He was declared to be in Seine. (Psychology Jokes)
  68. Which is the biggest rope?… Europe. (World Geography Jokes)
  69. What does a frog in Paris eat?… French Flies.
  70. Whats in the middle of Paris?… R. 
  71. French people give me the crepes. 
  72. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Parton!… Parton who?… Parton my French!
  73. How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb? One…. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.
  74. When I was a kid, my parents would always say “Excuse my French” after a swear word… I’ll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any French. (Jokes for Teachers)
  75. I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me. – General George S. Patton.
  76. I don’t like thin pancakes… They just crepe me out. (Pancake Jokes)
  77. If croissants could talk, they’d probably speak French.
  78. In the French Navy, it’s considered unlucky to have the number 5 in a ship’s name… Because all of the ships with that number in their name… cinq. (Navy Jokes & Bastille Day Jokes)
  79. Why do Americans love to celebrate Cinco de Mayo?… They will celebrate anything involving margaritas, especially a victory over France. (Margarita Jokes)
  80. What is the most important part of jokes about the French Revolution?… The execution.
  81. Do you know that the French Revolution was kind of a pain in the neck?… But once it was over it was a weight off of some people’s shoulders.
  82. What did the Aristocrat say when he heard the French Revolution happening in the streets?… “Oh! What a peasant surprise!”
  83. Did you hear the one about Bastille Day?… It’s a riot.
  84. Why is the French Revolution just like Prohibition?… They both got rid of Bourbon!
  85. Why did King Louis despise the peasants?… He found them revolting.
  86. Have you ever seen the play about the French Revolution?… The scene with Marie Antoinette was perfectly executed.
  87. Do you know that anyone can use our Bastille Day jokes?… It’s royalty free.
  88. How do Americans celebrate Bastille Day?… By storming their wine cellar.
  89. What do they call Independence Day in France?… A Royale-free with cheese!
  90. Have you heard about Bastille Day?… It’s the last time the French showed any balls.
  91. Why do French bakers always bake extra bread on Bastille Day?… Because they know everyone’s going to “storm” their bakery!
  92. What was the primary role of the aristocrats during the French Revolution?… They put their head into it.
  93. Why don’t they play cards in France on Bastille Day?… Because everyone’s afraid of the “revolutionary” hand!
  94. During the French Revolution, what was the executioner’s catchphrase?… “First come, first severed!”
  95. Why are fireworks set off on Bastille Day?… It’s the only way to make a louder bang than the one made when they stormed the Bastille!
  96. What is the difference between Bastille Day and the 4th Of July?… Bastille Day is just like the Fourth of July except it takes place in France and Americans don’t care about it!
  97. A French nobleman’s estate was destroyed during the French Revolution…. The results were château-strophic.
  98. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the history of Bastille Day?  (Veterans Day Jokes)
  99. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me what country celebrates Bastille Day?  (Veterans Day Jokes)
  100. So my friend got annoyed that I kept singing Pompeii by Bastille, so they told me to stop… How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
  101. What does a french truck driver shout during Bastille Day?… Too soon Have a NICE day!