My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Find qualified tutors in your area today!

More Massachusetts Jokes…

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Massachusetts jokes.
  2. If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring?… Pilgrims (The Mayflower Ship) (Thanksgiving Day Jokes for Kids)
  3. The Patriots didn’t go to the Super Bowl last year… I was deflated. (Super Bowl Jokes)
  4. Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a Chatham Great White Shark for biting all his limbs off?… He didn’t have a leg to stand on! (Shark Jokes & Lawyer Jokes)
  5. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?… June bugs. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & Flower Jokes)
  6. What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?… A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries. (Pirate Jokes)
  7. Did you hear the joke about Mount Greylock?… You won’t get over it. (Massachusetts Mountains & Hiking Jokes)
  8. Teacher: “More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.” Student: “Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!” (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  9. Which US state has allergies?… Mass “Achoo” achusetts.
  10. What’s the capital of Massachusetts?… M.
  11. What do you call Salem witches who go on a summer camp field trip to the beach?… Sandwitches! (Summer Camp Jokes & Field Trip Jokes)
  12. What do Bobby Orr and a map key have in common?… Both are legends. (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  13. What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?…The Americans licked the British. (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  14. What U.S. state teaches math class all year long?… Mathachusetts. (Math Jokes for Kids)
  15. What is the worst US city to run a marathon?… Boston. It is the height of pollen season and it is in Mass “Achoo” setts. (Boston Marathon Jokes)
  16. What famous Southern Rock anthem is the same as the Boston Celtics offense during the 1980s… Free Bird. (World’s Best Basketball Jokes & 365 Music Jokes)
  17. What is in the middle of Springfield?… The letter ‘G’! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  18. What’s a Massachusetts pirate’s second favorite mode of transportation?… A cAARRRRGGH! (Pirate Jokes & Car Jokes)
  19. Why did the Massachusetts teacher jump into the Atlantic Ocean?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  20. Where do Boston fish keep their money?… In the banks of the Charles River. (Top 12 Rivers in Massachusetts)
  21. What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?…Plymouth Rock! (Thanksgiving Day Jokes for Kids)
  22. How do people in Boston vote?… Early and often! (Election Jokes)
  23. What do New England Aquarium penguins wear on their heads?… Ice caps.
  24. If the Boston Celtics were chasing the Boston Red Sox team, what time would it be?… Five after nine. (9:05)
  25. What is Peppermint Patty’s favorite Massachusetts town?… “Charles” town. (Charlie Brown Jokes)
  26. What does a fish from Massachusetts say when he sees his friend?… “Chowdy!” (Fishing Jokes)
  27. What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?…Liberty! (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  28. What projection is used to map the distribution Phillips Candy House chocolate?… The Bonne-Bonne (bon bon) projection. (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  29. What was the Patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War?…Chicken Catch-a-Tory! (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  30. What rock do Massachusetts geologists play with the most?… Plymouth Rock. (Geology Jokes)
  31. What is the tallest building in the Massachusetts?… The Boston Public Library of course, it has the most stories!
  32. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Massachusetts Turnpike!
  33. What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?…Tea-shirts. (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  34. How did American colonists’ dogs protest against England?… The Boston Flea Party. (4th of July Jokes for Kids & Dog Jokes)
  35. What do Larry Bird and a map key have in common?… Both are legends. (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  36. If the Boston Red Sox were chasing the Boston Celtics team, what time would it be?… Nine after five. (5:09)
  37. What did the Massachusetts flag say to the American flag?… Nothing. It waved! (Flag Day Jokes for Kids)
  38. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Neponset river! (Top 12 Rivers in Massachusetts)
  39. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Merrimack River! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  40. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: Boston. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in Boston! (Teacher Jokes)
  41. Why don’t you see New England Aquarium penguins in Great Britain?… Because they are afraid of Wales! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  42. Why did the fisherman want to go fishing in Massachusetts?… Just for the halibut.
  43. Nantucket Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Resident: “No, not yet.” Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
  44. What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?…The Battle of Bonkers Hill.
  45. Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?…Because the horse was too heavy to carry! (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  46. Massachusetts winters are so cold… I saw a politician having hands in his own pocket.
  47. Why do Wellesley College students have such beautiful noses?… They’re hand picked.
  48. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Massachusetts?
  49. If a plane crashed on the border of Massachusetts and Connecticut, where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  50. What did the sea say to the South Shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
  51. What do you call an American revolutionary who draws cartoons?…Yankee Doodler. (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  52. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Massachusetts knock-knock joke?
  53. Did you hear about the power outage in the Boston Public Lbrary?… Thirty people were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
  54. Where do Massachusetts elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Elementary School Jokes)
  55. What does it say on the back of every Berklee College Of Music diploma?… Will Work For Food.
  56. What is an elephant’s favorite Boston college?… Tufts. They love the Jumbos mascot.
  57. What is Peppermint Patty’s favorite Boston street?… “Charles” Street. (Charlie Brown Jokes)
  58. What did Lake Chaubunagungamaug say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved. (10 Best Lakes in Massachusetts)
  59. Why does the Tom Brady know all the map symbols?… Because he’s a legend.
  60. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Massachusetts knock knock jokes? (June Jokes Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  61. How do the zebras at the Franklin Park Zoo play baseball?… Three stripes and you’re out! (Baseball Jokes)
  62. What did Massachusetts see?… the same thing Arkansas.
  63. Why did the Massachusetts teacher jump into the pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  64. A Massachusetts man came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, “Hurry on over here. My house is on fire!” “OK,” replied the fireman, “how do we get there?” “Say, don’t you still have them big red trucks?”
  65. Who stole the heart of Massachusetts?… Nan took it. 
  66. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the two senators from Massachusetts? 
  67. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the governor of Massachusetts?
  68. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the representatives from Massachusetts?  
  69. Ever since my girlfriend moved to Massachusetts… She has been cold and distant.
  70. Why can Massachusetts fish measure distances so well?… Because they have their own scales.
  71. Did you hear about the Massachusetts map that was mugged?… It was rolled by the map librarian.
  72. How did the geography student drown?… His grades were below C-level. (Teacher Jokes)
  73. What is a Massachusetts nautical chart’s best pitch?… The depth curve. (Baseball Jokes for Kids)
  74. Where do you find the Atlantic Ocean without water?… On a map! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  75. What’s in the middle of the (Atlantic) ocean?… Letter E! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  76. What is the tallest building in?… Worcester Public Library of course, it has the most stories! (Library Jokes)
  77. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Route 128!
  78. Why should the UMass football team change it’s team name to the opossums?…  Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
  79. Super Bowl XLIX: “Hey, Seattle, wanna win the Super Bowl?” “No, thanks. We’ll pass.” (Super Bowl Jokes)
  80. Where do a fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Concord River. (Top 12 Rivers in Massachusetts)
  81. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Deerfield River! (Top 12 Rivers in Massachusetts)
  82. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Sudbury River! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  83. What’s the one thing that keeps Minutemen basketball players from graduating?… Going to Class.
  84. Why did the Boston College football team cross the road?… Because it was easier than crossing the goal line.
  85. What separates a good team from a great team?… The Massachusetts-New York border.
  86. How do you make Boston College cookies?… Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
  87. How do you confuse a Boston student?… You can’t they were born that way.
  88. What’s the difference between Amherst and yogurt?… Yogurt has an active living culture.
  89. Why do the Boston College Screaming Eagles eat cereal straight from the box?… They choke whenever they get near a bowl.
  90. Divorced couples in Massachusetts are having trouble deciding who gets the Marijuana… The judges have started issuing joint custody. (Divorce Jokes)
  91. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the capital of Massachusetts? (State Capitals)
  92. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the most populated city in Massachusetts?  
  93. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the least populated city in Massachusetts?  
  94. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name any professional sports teams in Massachusetts? 
  95. Massachusetts: America hates us because America ain’t us.
  96. Why did the Massachusetts regents decide to cover Alumni Stadium in cardboard?… Because Boston College always look better on paper.
  97. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the highest mountain in Massachusetts? (Hiking Jokes)  
  98. Why did the Massachusetts teacher jump into the lake?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  99. Massachusetts: We’re not sure who is dumber – the politicians or the voters. (Election Jokes)
  100. Where do Massachusetts middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
  101. Where do Massachusetts high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (High School Jokes)
  102. Why did the Massachusetts teacher jump into the river?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  103. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe spell Massachusetts? 
  104. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the colleges and universities in Massachusetts? (Top U.S. Colleges)
  105. New England winters are so cold… I saw a politician having hands in his own pocket.
  106. How many University of Massachsutts freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?… None, it’s a sophomore course.
  107. How do you get a man in Massachusetts to do sit-ups?… Put the remote control between his toes.
  108. Why do Massachusetts students have such beautiful noses?… They’re hand picked. (Biology Jokes)
  109. Why do Massachusetts students have TGIF on their shoes?… Toes Go In First!
  110. Nightmares in other states are just visions of what’s really going on in Massachusetts.
  111. Why did the UMass football team cross the road?… Because it was easier than crossing the goal line. 
  112. What separates a good team from a great team?… The Massachusetts-Connecticut border. 
  113. Why did the Massachusetts teacher jump into the pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  114. An UMass fan walks into the doctor’s office one day with a hat on. He takes off his hat, and the doctor sees that there is a big frog sitting right on top of his head. The doctor looks at the man and asks him why he has a frog sitting on his head. It was the frog who replied “Actually doc, I was the one who wanted to see you. Can you remove this wart off my butt?”
  115. How is a Amherst girl different from a bowling ball?… Sometimes a bowling ball is hard to pick up.
  116. Why did the Massachusetts teacher jump into the river?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  117. Massachusetts has changed its drinking age to 28…. Lawmakers warrant this by saying it is meant to keep alcohol out of high school.
  118. Why is “The Wave” banned in Alumin Stadium?… Two Boston College fans drowned last year. 
  119. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the longest river in Massachusetts?  
  120. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe visit Massachusetts?  
  121. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe give me the name of a great restaurant
  122. Massachusetts ?   
  123. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the cost of living
  124. Massachusetts?  
  125. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me some good lakes in
  126. Massachusetts? 
  127. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe take me to a Harvard football game?
  128. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe take me to an Boston College basketball game?
  129. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe take me to an BU baseball game?
  130. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you tell me the cost of the University of of Lowell? (Top U.S. Colleges)
  131. Why did UMass disband its water polo team?… All the horses drowned.
  132. Did you hear about the power outage at the Boston College library?… Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
  133. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the UMass mascot? (College Mascots)
  134. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the Boston College mascot? (College Mascots)
  135. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  136. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the Amherst College? (College Mascots)
  137. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the Williams mascot? (College Mascots)
  138. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the Holy Cross mascot? (College Mascots)
  139. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  140. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  141. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  142. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  143. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  144. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  145. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  146. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  147. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe give me the name of a great restaurant Alabama?   
  148. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe take me to an Alabama basketball game?
  149. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe take me to an Alabama baseball game?Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you tell me the cost of the University of Alabama? (Top U.S. Colleges)
  150. If a plane crashed on the borders of Alabama and Mississippi, where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids & Plane Jokes)
  151. Why can’t and play hide and seek?… Because they like to peak.
  152. What is a Alabama mountain’s favorite type of candy?… Snow caps. (Hiking Jokes Candy Jokes)
  153. Did you guys hear about that girl they found murdered in Alabama?… They found her covered in milk with cheerios still in her mouth… They think it was a cereal killer. (Cereal Jokes)
  154. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Alabama?
  155. Why did the Alabama teacher jump into the Gulf of Mexico?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  156. Did you hear about the $4,000,000 Alabama State Lottery?… The winner gets $4 a year for a million years. 
  157. What does the average Alabama high school student get on his SAT?… Drool.
  158. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Alabama knock knock jokes?
  159. What is a Alabama cloud’s favorite drink?… Mountain Dew. (Hiking Jokes & Skiing Jokes)
  160. A retired Alabama man was jailed for refusing to nap… …he was resisting a rest. (Napping Jokes)
  161. A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a good Alabama joke. The bartender says, “Before you tell it, you should know that I am 6-2 and weigh 225 and I’m from Alabama. See that guy at the end of the bar? He’s 6-4 and weighs 250 and he’s from Alabama, too. And see the guy at the other end of the bar? He’s 6-6 and weighs 280 and he’s from Alabama, too! Now, do you still want to tell your Alabama joke?” The guy says, “Nah.” To which the bartender smiles and says, “What’s the matter? Are ya chicken?” The guy says, “Nah. I just don’t want to have to explain it three times.”
  162. Where does the president send his dirty Inauguration clothes?… To Wash-ington D.C.! (Inauguration Jokes)
  163. Can you name the capital of Washington?… “W” What did Lake say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved.  (15 Best Lakes in Washington)
  164. What is the tallest building in?… Washington Public Library of course, it has the most stories! (Library Jokes)
  165. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Washington Turnpike!
  166. Where do a fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the . (Ten Longest Rivers in Washington)
  167. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The River!
  168. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The River! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  169. If a plane crashed on the borders of where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  170. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: North Dakota. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in ! (Teacher Jokes)
  171. Did you hear the joke about Mountain?… You won’t get over it. (Hiking Jokes & Washington Mountains)
  172. Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Resident: “No, not yet.”Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
  173. I was pulled over in Massachusetts for reckless driving. When brought before the judge, I was asked if I knew what the punishment for drunk driving in that state was. I said, “I don’t know… reelection to the Senate?”
  174. Where do [state] elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Elementary School Jokes)
  175. Where do [state] middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
  176. Where do [state] high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (High School Jokes)
  177. What is the difference between the BC Eagles and cheerios?… One belongs in a bowl. The other doesn’t!
  178. What does a BC Eagles fan do when his team has won the BCS championship?… He turns off the PlayStation.
  179. What’s the difference between an Boston College football player and a dollar?… You can get four quarters out of a dollar.
  180. My local news station had a story about a string of killings at churches in Massachusetts. “Mass mass mass murders.” they said.
  181. Did you hear that Boston College’s football team doesn’t have a website?… They can’t string three “Ws” together.
  182. How many BC Eagles does it take to change a lightbulb?… None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!
  183. What are the best four years of an BC Eagles life?… Third grade
  184. What does a Massachusetts native and a bottle of beer have in common?… They’re both empty from the neck up.
  185. What do Boston College and pot have in common?… They both get smoked in bowls!
  186. What do you call an Boston College football player with a championship ring?… A thief!
  187. What is a Boston College fan’s favorite whine?… “We can’t beat Notre Dame.”
  188. Why does a BC Eagles fan pour his cereal on a plate?… He lost his bowls.
  189. Why do they not serve ice in drinks at BC Eagles games anymore?… The student who knew the recipe graduated.
  190. Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a Chatham Great White Shark for biting all his limbs off?… He didn’t have a leg to stand on! (Shark Jokes & Lawyer Jokes)
  191. What did the Cape Code beach say to the wave?… “Long tide, no sea.”
  192. What did the Chatham shark plead in the murder case?…Not gill-ty!
  193. What is the strongest creature in the Atlantic ocean?… A mussel!
  194. What did Cinderella wear when she went swimming in the Cape Cod National Seashore?… Glass flippers.
  195. What is a whale’s favorite James Bond Film?… Licence to Krill.
  196. What happened to the Chatham shark that swallowed a bunch of keys?…It got lockjaw.
  197. Where do shellfish go to borrow money?… The prawn broker.