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Football Jokes for Kids

  1. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best college football jokes.
  2. What is a farmer’s favorite college football team?… The Nebraska Cornhuskers! (College Football Jokes & Nebraska Jokes)
  3. Who should be the official spokesperson for Amazon Prime Day?… Dieon Sanders AKA “Prime Time!” (Prime Day Jokes)
  4. What do football players wear on Halloween?… Face masks! (Halloween Jokes)
  5. What’s the difference between a college quarterback and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap. (Napping Jokes & Baby Jokes)
  6. What do college football centers wear on their feet?… Hiking shoes. (Hiking Jokes)
  7. Why couldn’t the Heisman football player listen to music?… Because he broke all the records. (Music Jokes)
  8. Why couldn’t the All-American football player listen to music?… Because he broke all the records. (Music Jokes)
  9. Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?… The coach told him to take a hike! (Hiking Jokes)
  10. Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the college football team?… They needed a little team spirit. (Ghost Jokes)
  11. What college football play should you be suspicious of?… The quarterback sneak.
  12. Did you hear about the college football field NASA built on the moon?… They used astroturf. (Full Moon Jokes)
  13. Why did the college football player go to the bank?… to get his quarter back. (College Jokes)
  14. How is the [insert your rival school] football team like an opossum?… They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
  15. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about college football?
  16. What is a college chemistry professor’s favorite college football team?… The Florida State Semi moles! (Mole Day Jokes & Florida Jokes)
  17. Grandfather: Bet I can tell you the score of the football game before it starts! Grandson: No Way! Grandfather: 0-0. (Grandparent Jokes)
  18. What did the reindeer say to the college football player?… “Your Blitzen days are over!” (Reindeer Jokes & Christmas Jokes)
  19. What do you call a college football lineman’s kid?… A chip off the old blocker. (Father’s Day Jokes)
  20. Why do college coaches like punters?… Because punters always put their best foot forward. (Biology Jokes)
  21. How did Scrooge win the college football game?… The ghost of Christmas passed. (Christmas Jokes)
  22. What is the most popular sport on the Fourth of July?… Flag football. (Football Jokes & Flag Day Jokes)
  23. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta go to the college football game! (August Jokes)
  24. What would you get if you crossed a college football player and the Invisible Man?… Football like no one has ever seen. (Halloween Jokes)
  25. What did the college football coach say to the broken vending machine?… “Give me my quarterback!”
  26. Who are the happiest people at the college football game?… The cheerleaders. (Cheerleading Jokes)
  27. Why is it so hot in a college school football stadium after a game?…. All the fans have left! (Middle School Jokes)
  28. What did the mummy college football coach say at the end of practice?… “Let’s wrap this up!” (Halloween Jokes)
  29. Which college football player is the easiest target to hit with the football?… The wide receiver.
  30. Where do college football players go to get a new uniform?… New Jersey (Top Geography Jokes & Top 500 Jokes for U.S. States)
  31. Why did the [insert your rival school] football team cross the road?…: Because it was easier than crossing the goal line.
  32. What’s the difference between a [insert your rival school] football player and a dollar?… You can get four quarters out of a dollar. (Football Jokes)
  33. Did you hear about the college football player who asked his coach to flood the field so he could go in as a sub?
  34. Why do college coaches like punters?… Because punters always put their best foot forward. (Biology Jokes)
  35. Why do college coaches like place kickers?… Because place kickers always put their best foot forward. (Biology Jokes)
  36. What is the most popular sport on the Flag Day?… Flag football. (Football Jokes & Flag Day Jokes)
  37. What do you call a lineman’s kids?… Chips off the old blocker. (Father’s Day Jokes)
  38. What did the college football say to the punter?… “I get a kick out of you.” (College Jokes)
  39. Why do [insert your rival school] football players go to movies in groups of 18 or more?… 17 and under not admitted.
  40. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta go to football practice! (August Jokes)
  41. How is losing money in a payphone like a college football game?… If you don’t get the quarter back, you hit the receiver!
  42. What’s the mole’s favorite college football team?… The Florida State Semimoles! (Mole Day Jokes)
  43. Where do college quarterbacks go when they get old?… Out to pass-ture.
  44. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good college football knock-knock joke?
  45. Why do college coaches like punters?… Because punters always put their best foot forward. (Biology Jokes)
  46. Why do college coaches like place kickers?… Because punters always put their best foot forward. (Biology Jokes)
  47. Did you hear about the college football player who asked his coach to flood the field so he could go in as a sub?
  48. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good college football knock knock jokes? (June Jokes Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  49. How do you keep a [insert your rival school] football player out of your yard?… Put up a goalpost.
  50. Two [insert your rival school] football players were walking in the woods. One of them said, “Look, a dead bird.” The other looked up in the sky and said, “Where?” (Bird Jokes)
  51. What do you call a [insert your rival school] football player with a National Championship ring?… Thief.
  52. When do [insert your rival school] players NOT run up the score?… When they are taking their SAT’s. (College Jokes)
  53. How did the [insert your rival school] football player die from drinking milk?… The cow fell on him. (Cow Jokes)
  54. How do you get a former [insert your rival school] football player off your porch?… Pay him for the pizza. (Pizza Jokes)
  55. What does the average [insert your rival school] player get on his SAT’s?… Drool. (College Jokes)
  56. How many [insert your rival school] freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?… None. That’s a sophomore course. (College Jokes)
  57. What are the longest three years of a [insert your rival school] football player’s life?… Freshman year. (College Jokes)
  58. What do you get if you see an [insert your rival school] fan buried up to his neck in sand?… More sand.
  59. Why do [insert your rival school]football players put their diplomas on the dashboard?… So they can park in a handicapped spot. (College Jokes)
  60. What is the most common phrase used by a former [insert your rival school] football player?… Would you like fries with that? (Fast Food Jokes)
  61. What do you call a genius sitting in the [insert your rival school] student section?… Visitor.
  62. Where do hungry football players play?… In the Supper Bowl.
  63. What kind of ends do you find in libraries?… Book ends. (Library Jokes)
  64. Which player is the easiest target to hit with the football?… The wide receiver.
  65. Who are the happiest people at the football game?… The cheerleaders. (Cheerleading Jokes)
  66. Why are college football stadiums always cool?… “Because they’re full of fans.”
  67. Why was the skeleton always left out of the football game ?… Because he had no body to go with. (Halloween Jokes & Skeleton Jokes)
  68. What did the mummy football coach say at the end of practice?… “Let’s wrap this up!” (Halloween Jokes)
  69. What would you get if you crossed a football player and the Invisible Man?… Football like no one has ever seen. (Halloween Jokes)
  70. Why was Cinderella such a bad at football?… Her coach was a pumpkin. (Halloween Jokes & Disney Jokes)
  71. Where do athletes go to get a new uniform?… New Jersey (Top Geography Jokes & Top 500 Jokes for U.S. States)
  72. What does a bad football team and possums have in common?… Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
  73. What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?… “Give me my quarterback!”
  74. Why did the poor quarterback have his receivers cross at midfield?… Because he was trying to make ends meet.
  75. When is a football player like a judge?… When he sits on the bench.
  76. Did you hear about the college football who wore two jackets when he painted the house?… The instructions on the can said: “Put on two coats.”
  77. Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?… Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.
  78. What’s the difference between the poor, inconsistent football team and a dollar bill?… You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
  79. What do biology majors wear on their heads when playing football?… Helminth. (Top Biology Jokes)
  80. Did you hear that some college football teams don’t have a website?…They can’t string three “Ws” together.
  81. A College Football Coach: “He doesn’t know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words.”
  82. Why did Kansas take the shortcut?… Because it was Les Miles!