College Football Jokes

by | Dec 28, 2019 | Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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Football Jokes for Kids

  1. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best college football jokes.
  2. What is the most popular vowel in Miami during college football season?… The U.
  3. An Alabama fan and a Tennessee fan, fighting side-by-side, were captured during World War II and sentenced to die by firing squad. The enemy commander asked the Tennessee fan if he had any last requests. The Vol said, “I want to hear Rocky Top one last time.” The Bama fan was then asked if he had any last requests. “Yes, shoot me first!”
  4. What is a crayon’s favorite college football game?… the Red River Rivalry between Texas and Oklahoma.
  5. What is an undertaker’s favorite college football stadium?… Death Valley. Home of the Clemson Tigers.
  6. What laundry detergent does the Alabama Football Manager use to wash the uniforms?…. (Roll) Tide! (College Football Jokes)
  7. What is the favorite college football team of the Geologists’ Association? … University of Tennessee. They love to sing Rocky Top.
  8. What college football team requires the most community service?…. The University of Tennessee Volunteers.
  9. I’ve never understood the uniform color of the Navy football team being Navy blue… I thought they were the aqua-marines. (Crayon Jokes)
  10. What is a great offense for the University of Kentucky football team?… The Wildcat.
  11. What do you call a fan who does not like the University of Florida football team?… A Gater Hater.
  12. What is the friendliest college football team?… The O “HI” O State Buckeyes.
  13. What is a nervous mom’s favorite college football play?… A safety.
  14. What is a weather forecaster’s favorite college football team?… The Miami Hurricanes.
  15. What’s the difference between a college quarterback and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap. (Napping Jokes & Baby Jokes)
  16. What is a farmer’s favorite college football team?… The Nebraska Cornhuskers! (College Football Jokes & Nebraska Jokes)
  17. Notre Dame is the luckiest team in college football?… . Their mascot is a leprechaun.
  18. What do college football centers wear on their feet?… Hiking shoes. (Hiking Jokes)
  19. What college football play should you be suspicious of?… The quarterback sneak.
  20. What college football team would be a great help at a New England Clambake?… The Nebraska Cornhuskers! (Nebraska Jokes)
  21. What college football team is the unofficial sponsor of the Weather Channel?… The Miami Hurricanes. (Hurricane Jokes)
  22. Who is the unofficial sponsor of the Miami Hurricanes football team?… The Weather Channel. (Hurricane Jokes)
  23. Why did the collge quarterback suddenly walk off the field?… The coach told him to take a hike! (Hiking Jokes)
  24. What was the most popular prayer during the Doug Flutie BC era?… Hail Mary.
  25. So, a college football cheerleader walks into a Starbucks… and shouts, “gimme a tea!” (Tea Jokes & Cheerleading Jokes)
  26. What is a college chemistry professor’s favorite college football team?… The Florida State Semi moles! (Mole Day Jokes & Florida Jokes)
  27. Is the University of South Florida a good football program?… You better BULLieve it!
  28. Why did the college football player go to the bank?… to get his quarter back. (College Jokes)
  29. Who is the saddest DI football team?… The Duke BLUE Devils. (North Carolina Jokes)
  30. Grandfather: Bet I can tell you the score of the football game before it starts! Grandson: No Way! Grandfather: 0-0. (Grandparent Jokes)
  31. Did you hear about the college football field NASA built on the moon?… They used astroturf. (Full Moon Jokes)
  32. Doug Flutie and Gerard Phelan start the BC football with a motivational speech and prayer… They say the Hail Mary. 
  33. Zak DeOssie followed his NFL dad, Steve Deossie’s footsteps to play college football… I guess he is a chip of the old blocker.
  34. A scrawny man at a bar in Columbus says to the guy sitting next to him, “Hey, you want to hear a really funny Ohio State joke?” The guy replies, “Hey, buddy. See the bartender? He played at Ohio State. See those two huge guys to your left? They played at Ohio State. See that group of big guys over at that table? All Ohio State football players. Look at me. I’m 6’4, 235, and played at Ohio State. Now are you sure you want to tell me your joke?” The scrawny man says, “Nah. I don’t want to have to explain and repeat it five times.”
  35. Why did the chocolate chip cookie drop all his chips?… Because that’s the way the cookie fumbles! (Chocolate Chip Cookie Jokes
  36. Who is a hamburger’s favorite football coach?… Coach PRIME (time)! (Hamburger Jokes)
  37. Why couldn’t the Heisman football player listen to music?… Because he broke all the records. (Music Jokes)
  38. What college football team is favorite of Siegfried & Roy?… LSU Tigers.
  39. What is the #1 selling laundry detergent in Alabama?…. (Roll) Tide!
  40. How did the octopuses win the football game?.. Ten tackles.
  41. What’s the difference between a Heisman quarterback and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap. (Napping Jokes & Baby Jokes)
  42. Did you know the Pope follows college football… His favorite team is Stanford University. He loves the cardinal mascot.
  43. What college football team completes the most community service?…. The University of Tennessee Volunteers.
  44. Where do you go in college football in case of a tornado?… [your rival’s stadium] They never have a touchdown there.
  45. What do football players wear on Halloween?… Face masks! (Halloween Jokes)
  46. How is losing money in a payphone like a college football game?… If you don’t get the quarter back, you hit the receiver!
  47. Who should be the official spokesperson for Amazon Prime Day?… Dieon Sanders AKA “Prime Time!” (Prime Day Jokes)
  48. Why don’t football players suffer during a heat wave?… Because they have many fans. (Heat Wave Jokes)
  49. What would you get if you crossed a college football player and the Invisible Man?… Football like no one has ever seen. (Halloween Jokes)
  50. You are stuck in a cave with an angry grizzly bear, a mountain lion, and a Texas A&M fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?… Shoot the Aggie fan…twice.
  51. What did the pumpkin football coach tell his team before the big game?… “Gourd big or gourd home!” (Pumpkin Jokes & College Football Jokes)
  52. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta go to the college football game! (August Jokes)
  53. Who are the happiest people at the college football game?… The cheerleaders. (Cheerleading Jokes)
  54. A man is sitting at a park bench when another man sits next to him and they engage in conversation. Shortly after, the second man says, “So, I bet you’re a Texas fan.” The first man says enthusiastically, “Why, yes I am. How did you know? My intelligence? My wit? My good looks?” The second fellow says, “No. I saw your class ring when you were picking your nose.”
  55. Ozzy Trapilo followed his dad, Steve Trapilo’s footsteps to play at Boston College… I guess he is a chip of the old blocker.
  56. Why do college coaches like punters?… Because punters always put their best foot forward. (Biology Jokes)
  57. Why couldn’t the All-American football player listen to music?… Because he broke all the records. (Music Jokes)
  58. Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the college football team?… They needed a little team spirit. (Ghost Jokes)
  59. How is the [insert your rival school] football team like an opossum?… They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
  60. What is the unofficial college football of the weather channel?… The Miami Hurricanes.
  61. What is a mortician’s favorite college football stadium?… Death Valley. Home of the Clemson Tigers.
  62. Where do college football players go to get a new uniform?… New Jersey (Top Geography Jokes & Top 500 Jokes for U.S. States)
  63. What is a police officer’s favorite football play?… A safety.
  64. What did the college football say to the punter?… I get a kick out of you. (College Jokes)
  65. University of South Carolina Coach Steve Spurrier comes into the locker room before practice and says to his star receiver, “You’re failing math. If you don’t want to become academically ineligible, you’ll have to answer these math questions correctly.” The star receiver agrees and Spurrier asks him, “What does 4 plus 4 equal?” “Eleven,” says the athlete. The rest of the team pleads, “Give him another chance! Give him another chance!” Spurrier then asks, “What does 2 plus 2 equal?” The receiver says, “Four.” The rest of the team yells, “Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”
  66. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about college football?
  67. What did the reindeer say to the college football player?… “Your Blitzen days are over!” (Reindeer Jokes & Christmas Jokes)
  68. What do you call a college football lineman’s kid?… A chip off the old blocker. (Father’s Day Jokes)
  69. How did Scrooge win the college football game?… The ghost of Christmas passed. (Christmas Jokes)
  70. Did you hear about the college football player who asked his coach to flood the field so he could go in as a sub?
  71. What is the most popular sport on the Fourth of July?… Flag football. (Football Jokes & Flag Day Jokes)
  72. What did the college football coach say to the broken vending machine?… Give me my quarterback!
  73. Did you know the Pope follows college football… His least favorite team is the Arizona State Sun Devils.
  74. What college football stadium resembles the current state of politics in America… The Swamp. Also known as Ben Hill Griffin stadium. Home of the University of Florida Gators.
  75. What is a boxer’s favorite college football team?… The Fighting Irish of Notre Dame.
  76. What is a UFC fighter’s favorite college football team?… The Fighting Irish of Notre Dame.
  77. What is the unofficial college football team of Aer Lingus?… The Fighting Irish of Notre Dame.
  78. What is an alligator wrestler’s favorite college football stadium?… The Swamp. Also known as Ben Hill Griffin stadium. Home of the University of Florida Gators.
  79. What’s the difference between a college punter and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap. (Napping Jokes & Baby Jokes)
  81. Why is it so hot in a college school football stadium after a game?…. All the fans have left! (Middle School Jokes)
  82. Why are maggots and Alabama fans so alike?… Because both of them can live off a dead “Bear” for 20 years.
  83. What did the mummy college football coach say at the end of practice?… “Let’s wrap this up!” (Halloween Jokes)
  84. Which college football player is the easiest target to hit with the football?… The wide receiver.
  85. Why did the [insert your rival school] football team cross the road?…: Because it was easier than crossing the goal line.
  86. What’s the difference between a [insert your rival school] football player and a dollar?… You can get four quarters out of a dollar. (Football Jokes)
  87. Why do college coaches like punters?… Because punters always put their best foot forward. (Biology Jokes)
  88. Why do college coaches like place kickers?… Because place kickers always put their best foot forward. (Biology Jokes)
  89. What is the most popular sport on the Flag Day?… Flag football. (Football Jokes & Flag Day Jokes)
  90. What do you call a lineman’s kids?… Chips off the old blocker. (Father’s Day Jokes)
  91. What did the college football say to the punter?… “I get a kick out of you.” (College Jokes)
  92. Why do [insert your rival school] football players go to movies in groups of 18 or more?… 17 and under not admitted.
  93. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta go to football practice! (August Jokes)
  94. A Southern Cal football player was bragging to a group of co-eds that he finished a jigsaw puzzle in only three months. One girl said, “Three months? You’re proud of that?” The Trojan said, “Yep. On the box it said 4-6 years.”
  95. What is the difference between Steve Spurrier and God?… God don’t think he’s Steve Spurrier.
  96. When do Florida State players NOT run up the score?… When they are taking their SATs.
  97. Why do they call it Penn State?… Because “State Penn” was already taken.
  98. You can’t spell “suck” without “KSU.”
  99. What does Auburn stand for?… Alabama Usually Beats Us Red Necks.
  100. You know what IOWA stands for?… Idiots Out Walking Around.
  101. What’s the mole’s favorite college football team?… The Florida State Semimoles! (Mole Day Jokes)
  102. Where do college quarterbacks go when they get old?… Out to pass-ture.
  103. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good college football knock-knock joke?
  104. Did you hear about the college football player who asked his coach to flood the field so he could go in as a sub?
  105. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good college football knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  106. How do you keep a [insert your rival school] football player out of your yard?… Put up a goalpost.
  107. Two [insert your rival school] football players were walking in the woods. One of them said, “Look, a dead bird.” The other looked up in the sky and said, “Where?” (Bird Jokes)
  108. What do you call a [insert your rival school] football player with a National Championship ring?… Thief.
  109. What kind of ends do you find in libraries?… Book ends. (Library Jokes)
  110. When do [insert your rival school] players NOT run up the score?… When they are taking their SAT’s. (College Jokes)
  111. How did the [insert your rival school] football player die from drinking milk?… The cow fell on him. (Cow Jokes)
  112. How do you get a former [insert your rival school] football player off your porch?… Pay him for the pizza. (Pizza Jokes)
  113. What does the average [insert your rival school] player get on his SAT’s?… Drool. (College Jokes)
  114. How many [insert your rival school] freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?… None. That’s a sophomore course. (College Jokes)
  115. What are the longest three years of a [insert your rival school] football player’s life?… Freshman year. (College Jokes)
  116. What do you call [your rival’s team] with a BCS Bowl ring?… A thief.
  117. How do you keep [your rival’s team] out of your driveway?… Put up field goal posts.
  118. What do you call 63 people sitting around a TV watching the BCS championship game?… [your rival’s team]
  119. College Football Jokes: [your rival’s] Offense, [your rival’s] Defense, [your rival’s] Special Teams, [your rival’s] Coaching Staff, [your rival’s] Fans
  120. What’s the difference between the [your rival’s] football team and a dollar bill?… You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
  121. Why does [your rival’s] offense have to live in 9 shared houses or less?… They can’t get 10 yards.
  122. What’s a favorite holiday song of a lousy college football coach?… “I’ll be home for Christmas”
  123. What do the [your rival’s team] and Marijuana have in common?… They both get smoked in a bowl.
  124. What do you get if you see an [insert your rival school] fan buried up to his neck in sand?… More sand.
  125. Why do college coaches like punters?… Because punters always put their best foot forward. (Biology Jokes)
  126. Why do college coaches like place kickers?… Because punters always put their best foot forward. (Biology Jokes)
  127. What’s the difference between a college place kick holder and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap. (Napping Jokes & Baby Jokes)
  128. What’s the difference between a college quarterback and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap. (Napping Jokes & Baby Jokes)
  129. What college football team is favorite of Siegfried & Roy?… Clemson Tigers.
  130. Why do [insert your rival school] football players put their diplomas on the dashboard?… So they can park in a handicapped spot. (College Jokes)
  131. What is the most common phrase used by a former [insert your rival school] football player?… Would you like fries with that? (Fast Food Jokes)
  132. What do you call a genius sitting in the [insert your rival school] student section?… Visitor.
  133. Where do hungry football players play?… In the Supper Bowl.
  134. What kind of ends do you find in libraries?… Book ends. (Library Jokes)
  135. Which player is the easiest target to hit with the football?… The wide receiver.
  136. Who are the happiest people at the football game?… The cheerleaders. (Cheerleading Jokes)
  137. Why are college football stadiums always cool?… “Because they’re full of fans.”
  138. Why was the skeleton always left out of the football game ?… Because he had no body to go with. (Halloween Jokes & Skeleton Jokes)
  139. What did the mummy football coach say at the end of practice?… “Let’s wrap this up!” (Halloween Jokes)
  140. What would you get if you crossed a football player and the Invisible Man?… Football like no one has ever seen. (Halloween Jokes)
  141. Why was Cinderella such a bad at football?… Her coach was a pumpkin. (Halloween Jokes & Disney Jokes)
  142. Where do athletes go to get a new uniform?… New Jersey (Top Geography Jokes & Top 500 Jokes for U.S. States)
  143. What does a bad football team and possums have in common?… Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
  144. What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?… “Give me my quarterback!”
  145. Why did the poor quarterback have his receivers cross at midfield?… Because he was trying to make ends meet.
  146. Why do college football players like women with a PHd.?… Opposites attract.
  147. When is a football player like a judge?… When he sits on the bench.
  148. Did you hear about the college football who wore two jackets when he painted the house?… The instructions on the can said: “Put on two coats.”
  149. Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?… Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.
  150. What’s the difference between the poor, inconsistent football team and a dollar bill?… You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
  151. What do biology majors wear on their heads when playing football?… Helminth. (Top Biology Jokes)
  152. Did you hear that some college football teams don’t have a website?…They can’t string three “Ws” together.
  153. A College Football Coach: “He doesn’t know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words.”
  154. Why did Kansas take the shortcut?… Because it was Les Miles!
  155. What is a tree’s favorite college football team?… “Oak” lahoma.
  156. Why was O.J. trying to escape to Knoxville, Tennessee?… Police would never look for a Heisman Trophy winner there.
  157. Who is the luckiest team in college football?… Notre Dame. Their mascot is a leprechaun.
  158. Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?… So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and wear it to pick up trash on Monday.
  159. A young boy and his mother were in the cemetery visiting the grave of a loved one. They came upon a headstone that read, “Here lies a Florida State graduate and an honest man.” The boy then asked his mother, “Mommy, why did they bury two men in there?”
  160. Did you hear about the Florida State kicker who tried to throw himself on the floor in a fit of rage?… He missed.
  161. What’s the difference between a litter of puppies and Steve Spurrier?… Puppies stop whining after 8 weeks.
  162. Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods. One of them said, “Look, a dead bird.” The other looked up in the sky and said, “Where?”
  163. How can you tell the female student who is a college football fan from the north from the female student who is a college football fan from the south? The female student from the north is a physics major who understands Sylvia Plath. The female student from the south is a Miss USA contestant and understands the west coast offense.
  164. A Clemson football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.
  165. What is a great offense for the football team?… The Wildcat.