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Teaching Friday Night Lights to High School Students
The Blind Side: A Great Story

More Football Jokes…

  1. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best football jokes.\
  2. What did the football coach say to the broken candy machine?… Give me my quarterback! (Candy Jokes)
  3. Where did the goblin throw the football at recess?… Over the ghoul line. (Halloween Jokes for Teachers)
  4. What’s the difference between a quarterback and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap. (Napping Jokes & Baby Jokes)
  5. What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?… All porpoise yardage! (Dolphin Jokes)
  6. Which insect doesn’t play well in football?… The fumble bee. (Bee Jokes)
  7. Did you hear about the football field NASA built on the moon?… They used astroturf. (Full Moon Jokes)
  8. What college football play should you be suspicious of?… The quarterback sneak.
  9. Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?… The coach told him to take a hike! (Hiking Jokes)
  10. Why can’t Tampa Bay Buccaneers play golf well?… They always hook the ball. (Pirate Jokes & Golf Jokes)
  11. What do football centers wear on their feet?… Hiking shoes. (Hiking Jokes)
  12. Who should be the official spokesperson for Amazon Prime Day?… Dieon Sanders AKA “Prime Time!” (Prime Day Jokes)
  13. Why couldn’t the Heisman football player listen to music?… Because he broke all the records. (Music Jokes)
  14. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about football?
  15. Grandfather: Bet I can tell you the score of the football game before it starts! Grandson: No Way! Grandfather: 0-0. (Grandparent Jokes)
  16. I was wondering why the football was getting bigger… Then it hit me. 
  17. Where is a ghost’s favorite spot on a football field?… Under the ghoul posts! (Ghost Jokes)
  18. Where do football players go shopping in the offseason?… The tackle shop. 
  19. What did the college football say to the punter?… “I get a kick out of you.” (College Jokes)
  20. What is the most popular sport on the Fourth of July?… Flag football. (Football Jokes & Flag Day Jokes)
  21. What is a college professor’s favorite college football team?… The Florida State Semi moles! (Mole Day Jokes)
  22. How did Scrooge win the football game?… The ghost of Christmas passed. (Christmas Jokes)
  23. It was a nasty shock for the football team that practiced in the corn field… They got totally creamed. (Corn Jokes)
  24. Why couldn’t the defensive football player pass his test in school?… He was a tackling dummy. 
  25. College football is introducing the Rosary Bowl… Every play is a Hail Mary. 
  26. What do football players wear on Halloween?… Face masks! (Halloween Jokes)
  27.  Which two football teams played in the Pirate Super Bowl?… The Seahawks and the Buccaneers. (Pirate Jokes)
  28. Where do Jedi play football?… On the force field. 
  29. Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?… Someone was yanking his chain. 
  30. My wife left me because she says I’m too obsessed with football… Oh well, we had five good seasons together.
  31. What kind of tea do football players drink?… Penaltea. (Tea Jokes)
  32. Why was the pig ejected from the football game?… For playing dirty. (Pig Jokes)
  33. Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the football team?… They needed a little team spirit. (Ghost Jokes)
  34. What is it called when a dinosaur gets a touchdown?… A dino-score. (Dinosaur Jokes)
  35. What are successful kickers always trying to do?… Reach goals. 
  36. Why did the football place kicker bring string to the game?… So he could tie the score.
  37. Why didn’t the dog want to play football?… It was a boxer. (Boxing Jokes)
  38. Someday, I want to make an edgy football joke on Facebook… It’s my goal post.
  39. Where do football players dance?… At a foot ball! 
  40. What do football players do when they get overheated?… They get closer to some of the fans. 
  41. Why didn’t the skeleton play football?… His heart wasn’t in it. (Skeleton Jokes)
  42. Why are centipedes not allowed to play on bug football teams?… It takes too long to put their cleats on. 
  43. What did the football coach say to the broken candy machine?… Give me my quarterback! (Candy Jokes)
  44. How is a football referee like an angry chicken?… They both have fowl mouths. (Chicken Jokes)
  45. When should football players wear armor?… When they play knight games. (Knight Jokes)
  46. Which state should the Tampa Bay Buccaneers move to?… Arrrrrrrrrkansas. (Arkansas Jokes)
  47. Why did Cinderella get kicked off the football team?… Because she kept running away from the ball! (Cinderella Jokes)
  48. Two football players are in a bar. One walks up to the other and says, “Hey, wanna shot?” The other says, “I’ll pass.”
  49. Why did the football quit the team?… It was tired of being kicked around! 
  50. What did the receiver say to the football?… Catch you later.
  51. What happens to football players who go blind?… They become referees. 
  52. Who is the leader of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers?… Captain Hook! (Pirate Jokes)
  53. Where do the Tampa Bay Buccaneers change?… Davey Jones’ Locker! (Pirate Jokes)
  54. What did the football player say to the flight attendant?… “Put me in coach!” 
  55. Why do ballet dancers make such good NFL kickers?… They know how to split the uprights! 
  56. What runs around a football field but never moves?… A fence. 
  57. Why can’t you play football with pigs?… They hog the ball. (Pig Jokes)
  58. How are scrambled eggs like a losing football team?… They’ve both been beaten. (Egg Jokes)
  59. Which football team has the coolest helmets?… The one with the most fans. 
  60. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Uriah… Uriah who?… Keep Uriah on the ball.
  61. Why did the football player cross the field?… To get to the other sideline. 
  62. Why is it always warmer after a football game?… All the fans have left. 
  63. Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism?… The guy retained possession! 
  64. What is harder to catch the faster you run?… Your breath! 
  65. How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?… Hide the ball; it drives them nuts! (Squirrel Jokes)
  66. What did the reindeer say to the football player?… “Your Blitzen days are over!” (Reindeer Jokes & Christmas Jokes)
  67. What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?… A football coach. 
  68. What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement?… Gridirony! 
  69. Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?… Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave. 
  70. What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?… He got called for ineligible retriever downfield.
  71. Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?… The yards were stacked in his favor. 
  72.  Why did the punter finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?… She was a fair catch. 
  73.  Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?… She was a fair catch. 
  74. How did Scrooge end up with the football?… The ghost of Christmas passed. 
  75. Which are the best animals at football?… A score-pion. 
  76. What happened to the joke that Tom Brady told his receivers?… It went over their heads. 
  77. 8 p.m.: I get a text from my girlfriend that says, “Me or football?!” 11 p.m.: I text back, “You, of course.” 
  78. What do you call a boat full of polite football players?… A good sportsman-ship. 
  79. What do you do if a running back swallows the football?… You have to get him to cough it up. 
  80. Why did the chicken get ejected from the football game?… For fowl play. (Chicken Jokes)
  81. Why shouldn’t you play football in the jungle?… There are too many cheetahs! 
  82. Why is the football stadium so windy?… Because of all the fans. 
  83. The last time I played tackle football without pads, I broke three ribs and a collar bone. Fortunately, none of them were mine.
  84. What football player has very strong legs and builds houses?… A car-punter.
  85. What does JETS stand for?… Just End The Season. 
  86. How many Jets fans does it take to change a light bulb?… None, they are happy living in New England’s shadow! 
  87. What do you call a New York Jet with a Super Bowl ring?… A thief.
  88. Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?… He was called for unnecessary gruffness! 
  89. What do you call a college football lineman’s kid?… A chip off the old blocker. (Father’s Day Jokes)
  90. Why do college coaches like punters?… Because punters always put their best foot forward. (Biology Jokes)
  91. Why did the football player go to the bank?… to get his quarter back. (College Jokes)
  92. Did you hear about the football player who asked his coach to flood the field so he could go in as a sub?
  93. How is losing money in a payphone like a football game?… If you don’t get the quarter back, you hit the receiver!
  94. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta go to the football game! (August Jokes)
  95. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good football knock-knock joke?
  96. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good football knock knock jokes? (June Jokes Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  97. What is the most popular sport on the Flag Day?… Flag football. (Football Jokes & Flag Day Jokes)
  98. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta go back to football practice! (August Jokes)
  99. Why do college coaches like place kickers?… Because place kickers always put their best foot forward. (Biology Jokes)
  100. Why couldn’t the All-American football player listen to music?… Because he broke all the records. (Music Jokes)
  101. Why are hamburgers essential to football?… Because the game is played on a griddle-iron! (Hamburger Jokes)
  102. Where do hungry football players play?… In the Supper Bowl.
  103. What kind of ends do you find in libraries?… Book ends. (Library Jokes)
  104. Which player is the easiest target to hit with the football?… The wide receiver.
  105. Who are the happiest people at the football game?… The cheerleaders. (Cheerleading Jokes)
  106. Why are college football stadiums always cool?… “Because they’re full of fans.”
  107. Why was the skeleton always left out of the football game ?… Because he had no body to go with. (Halloween Jokes & Skeleton Jokes)
  108. What did the mummy football coach say at the end of practice?… “Let’s wrap this up!” (Halloween Jokes)
  109. What would you get if you crossed a football player and the Invisible Man?… Football like no one has ever seen. (Halloween Jokes)
  110. What do you call [insert rival team] fans in the basement?… A whine cellar.
  111. Why was Cinderella such a bad at football?… Her coach was a pumpkin. (Halloween Jokes & Disney Jokes)
  112. Where do athletes go to get a new uniform?… New Jersey (Top Geography Jokes & Top 500 Jokes for U.S. States)
  113. What does a bad football team and possums have in common?… Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
  114. What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?… “Give me my quarterback!”
  115. Why is it so hot in a middle school football stadium after a game?…. All the fans have left! (Middle School Jokes)
  116. Why did the Wyoming Cowboys football team cross the road?…: Because it was easier than crossing the goal line.
  117. What’s the difference between a Wyoming football player and a dollar?… You can get four quarters out of a dollar. (Football Jokes)
  118. Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?… Then you’ll be charged with interference. 
  119. Why don’t quarterbacks share puns when playing?… Because they produce audible groans! 
  120. Knock, knock… Who’s there?.. Tess me… Tess me who?… Tess me the football! 
  121. What did the bumble bee running back say after getting a touchdown?… Hive scored. (Bee Jokes)
  122. What’s the mole’s favorite college football team?… The Florida State Semi moles! (Mole Day Jokes)
  123. What’s the mole’s favorite college football team?… The Florida State Semi moles! (Mole Day Jokes)
  124. What’s a chemistry teacher’s favorite college football team?… The Florida State Semi moles! (Mole Day Jokes)
  125. Which football player wears the biggest cleats?… The one with the biggest feet! 
  126. Why couldn’t the NFL MVP player listen to music?… Because he broke all the records. (Music Jokes)
  127. Why couldn’t the NFL Super Bowl MVP player listen to music?… Because he broke all the records. (Music Jokes)

PG-13 Jokes

  1. Why did the poor quarterback have his receivers cross at midfield?… Because he was trying to make ends meet.
  2. When is a football player like a judge?… When he sits on the bench.
  3. Did you hear about the college football who wore two jackets when he painted the house?… The instructions on the can said: “Put on two coats.”
  4. Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?… Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.
  5. What’s the difference between the poor, inconsistent football team and a dollar bill?… You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
  6. What do biology majors wear on their heads when playing football?… Helminth. (Top Biology Jokes)
  7. Where do quarterbacks go when they get old?… Out to pass-ture.
  8. Did you hear that some college football teams don’t have a website?…They can’t string three “Ws” together.