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Google Search “Bagel Jokes”

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best bagel jokes.
  2. What do you call a store that only sells pretzels, bagels and donuts?… Hole Foods. (Donut Jokes & Bagel Jokes)
  3. What kind of bagels do all the campers eat?… A Winnebago. (Bagel Jokes & Camping Jokes)
  4. What did the school put on the bagels for breakfast on Halloween?… Scream cheese. (Bagel Jokes & Cheese Jokes)
  5. Customer: I would like to buy a bagel with cream cheese Waiter: I’m sorry we only accept cash.
  6. What did the bagel say when he was about to get eaten at breakfast?… Excuse me, but I’d like to propose a toast!
  7. What kind of bagel can fly?… A plain bagel. (Pilot Jokes)
  8. Why did the Croissants take the Donuts and Bagels to Disney World?… They thought it would be fun for the hole family. (Donut Jokes & Croissant Jokes)
  9. A lot of people are talking about how unhealthy bagels are for you, and how there are so many better breakfast options… It’s a real schmear campaign.
  10. How do you hold a bagel back?… You put lox on it.
  11. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?… If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels! (Ocean Jokes)
  12. What did the school put on the bagels for breakfast on Friday the 13th?… Scream cheese. (Bagel Jokes & Cheese Jokes)
  13. What do you deserve in life that is also a type of bagel?… Everything.
  14. Why did the bagel lose the election?… He was the victim of a schmear campaign. (Election Jokes)
  15. What does a bagel do when it is locked out of its house?… Call a loxsmith.
  16. What do ghosts put on their bagels?… Scream Cheese. (Ghost Jokes)
  17. What did the bagel say to the pastor?… I’m holier than you.
  18. What does a bagel call its grandfather?… Poppy! (Grandparent Jokes)
  19. I tried working in a bagel shop, but I soon got tired of the hole business. (Labor Day Jokes)
  20. What do you call a bagel in fancy dress?… A donut.
  21. What’s a pilot’s favorite kind of bagel?… Plain
  22. What do you call a person who does not like bagels?… A “Weirdough”
  23. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about bagels?
  24. Ever since COVID I haven’t been able to get my favorite bagel. This everything shortage is really is getting out of hand.
  25. Which martial art is used to make bagels?… Judo.
  26. I saw a bird today It was eating a gluten free bagel… It must be a Millennial Falcon
  27. Why did the Croissants take the Donuts and Bagels to Disneyland?… They thought it would be fun for the hole family. (Donut Jokes & Croissant Jokes)
  28. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good bagel knock-knock joke?
  29. Two eggs, a bagel, and a sausage walk into a bar. “Bartender, my friends and I would like a cold one,” says one of the eggs. “Sorry. We don’t serve breakfast.”
  30. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good bagel knock knock jokes? (June Jokes Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  31. Why did the bagel go the bar?… To get toasted
  32. What’s Mario’s favorite bagel flavor?… Ses-a-ME! Mario!
  33. How do you prevent someone from stealing your bagel?… You put lox on it!
  34. Do you prefer your bagels toasted? (Raises drink)… TO BAGELS!
  35. I recently bumped into a Frenchman wearing a bagel as a scarf… He said it was a real pain in the neck.
  36. Did you hear about the baker who was accused of stealing bagels?… He told them they needed proof.
  37. What do bagels and holiday parties have in common?… They’re both better toasted.
  38. I love bagels… They’re one of the holeyest foods.
  39. I got fired from my job as a cashier today… This customer walked in, picked up something from the counter, walked up to the till and said, “I’d like to pay for a Bagel with Cream Cheese..” I told him clearly, “I’m sorry sir, we only accept cash or credit”
  40. If a Birdie is one less than par, and an Eagle is two less than par, and an Albatross is three less than par… …then, in keeping with an avian theme, why can’t a Hole-in-One be referred to as a Bay-Gull?
  41. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe make me a bagel with cream cheese?
  42. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe cut my a bagel?
  43. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe make me a bagel with butter?
  44. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe toast my a bagel with cream cheese?
  45. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe share your bagel with me?
  46. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe go the store and get bagels?
  47. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me how you like your bagel toasted?
  48. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me your favorite kind of bagel?
  49. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me all the bagels you have?
  50. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me when you baked the bagels?
  51. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe eat another bagel?