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Google search “Bike Jokes”

  1. What happened when the wheel was invented?… It caused a revolution! (Bike Jokes)
  2. What do you call a door to door bicycle salesman?… A Peddler! (Labor Day Jokes)
  3. I’ve recently bought a mirror for my bike… I’ve never looked back since.
  4. A policeman just knocked on my door and said my dogs were chasing people on bikes… My dogs don’t even own bikes. (Police Jokes & Dog Jokes)
  5. What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a bike and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?… Attire!
  6. Do you know what is the hardest part of learning to ride a bike?… The pavement.
  7. What does a bicycle call its dad?… Pop-cycle! (Father’s Day Jokes for Kids & Popsicle Jokes)
  8. Why can’t a bicycle stand up on its own?… Because it’s two tired! (Napping Jokes)
  9. “Learn to ride a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live.” Mark Twain
  10. When is a bicycle not a bicycle?… When it turns into a driveway.
  11. My son tried riding his bike without training wheels today and the bike kept falling…I guess you could say it was two tired
  12. Why are bank tellers not allowed to ride bicycles?… They tend to lose their balance. (Pi Day Jokes)
  13. I have a bike with no seat. It hurts to ride, and no one wants to buy it because it has no seat. So I’m stuck riding this bike.It’s a vicious cycle.
  14. My dog used to chase everyone he saw on a bike.It got so bad that eventually, we had to take his bike away.
  15. What did the flower say to the bike?… petal. (Flower Jokes)
  16. My sister told me I couldn’t make a bicycle out of spaghetti… You should have seen her face when I rode pasta! (Pasta Jokes)
  17. How did the barber win the bike race?… He took a short cut. (Barber Jokes)
  18. How does a snowman get to work?… By icicle! (Snowman Jokes)
  19. Remember, as a child, when air for your bike was free? Now it’s $1.50! I asked the gas station attendant why.He said “inflation”
  20. My dogs chase people on bikesNever get your dogs from the circus
  21. Teacher: If you got $20 from 5 people, what do you get? Student: A new bike!
  22. What is a ghost-proof bicycle?… One with no spooks in it. (Halloween Jokes)
  23. What do you call an artist who sculpts with bicycle parts?… Cycleangelo. (Art Jokes)
  24. What did the little boy take his bicycle to bed with him?… Because he didn’t want to walk in his sleep. (Napping Jokes)
  25. Why can’t you take a nap during the Tour de France?… Because if you snooze, you loose! (Bastille Day Jokes)
  26. What is Thor’s favourite cycling competition?… Thor de France!
  27. What do you call a bicycle with a bed on top?… bedridden. (Napping Jokes)
  28. What does a turtle need to ride a bike?… A shellmet! (Turtle Jokes)
  29. Why do bicycles fall asleep?… Because they’re tired. (Napping Jokes)
  30. “I’ve really had it with my dog,” says a guy to his neighbor. “He’ll chase anyone on a bicycle.””Hmmm, that is a problem,” said the neighbor. “What are you thinking of doing about it?””Guess the only answer is to confiscate his bike!”
  31. Two nerds are riding along on a tandem bicycle when, suddenly, the one on the front slams on the brakes, gets off, and starts letting air out of the tires.The one on the back says: “HEY! What are you doing that for?!”The first nerd says, “My seat was too high and was hurting my butt. I wanted to lower it a bit.”So the one in the back has had enough. He jumps off, loosens his own seat and spins it round to face the other direction.Now it’s the first guy’s turn to wonder what’s going on. “What are you doing?” he asks his friend.”Look, mate,” says the rider in the back, “if you’re going to do stupid stuff like that, I’m going home!!”
  32. How do you know you’ve married a cycling addict?… You laundry has more bike jerseys than clothes.
  33. Why can’t an elephant ride a bicycle?… Because he doesn’t have a thumb to ring the bell. (Elephant Jokes)
  34. Why couldn’t Cinderella win the bicycle race?… She has a pumpkin for a coach! (Cinderella Jokes)
  35. A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
  36. Why couldn’t the flower ride it’s bike?… It lost its petals. (Flower Jokes)
  37. My girlfriend, Ruth, fell off the back of my bike.I rode on, ruthlessly.
  38. A tandem rider is stopped by a police car.”What’ve I done, officer?” asks the rider.”Perhaps you didn’t notice, sir, but your wife fell off your bike half a mile back . . .””Oh, thank God for that,” says the rider – “I thought I’d gone deaf!”
  39. What does a cyclist ride in the winter?… An icicle. 
  40. What do you call a crazy pavement?… A cycle path.
  41. What do you call a bicycle built by a chemist?… Bike-carbonate of soda!
  42. What do you get if you cross a bike and a flower?… Bicycle petals!
  43. What’s the hardest thing about learning to ride a bike?… the ground.
  44. A nerd was walking down the sidewalk one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle.The first nerd was stunned by his friend’s sweet ride and asked, “WOW! Where did you get such a nice bike?”The second nerd replied, “Well, yesterday I was walking home, minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ‘Take what you want!'”The second nerd nodded approvingly, “Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”
  45. Jack and Jill have just climbed one of the steepest mountains, on their tandem.”Phew, that was a tough climb,” said Jill, leaning over, breathing hard. “That climb was so hard, and we were going so slow, I thought we were never going to make it.””Yeah, good thing I kept the brakes on,” said Jack, “or we’d have slid all the way back down!”
  46. A pedestrian stepped off the curb and into the road without looking and promptly gets knocked flat by a passing cyclist.”You were really lucky there,” said the cyclist.”What on earth are you talking about! That really hurt!” said the pedestrian, still on the pavement, rubbing his head.The cyclist replied, “Well, usually I drive a bus!”
  47. Saw a woman on a bike yesterday.As she cycled towards me I couldn’t help myself and shouted at her.”COW!”She cycled on but turned her head to shout some abuse at me, effing and blinding for a solid twenty seconds, before riding in to the side of a cow.I was only trying to help.
  48. I once pushed a guy off his bike… I’ve since been banned from that gym.
  49. Where does a murderer ride his bike?A cycle path.
  50. My wife didn’t believe me when I told her I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti.You should have seen her face when I rode straight pasta.
  51. Doing math after years out of school is like riding a bike… It’s no fun when you run into something hard.
  52. He has spent years building it from nothing and always looked down on me for wasting my life away making puns.Out of sympathy, he offered me a job in public relations and says with the money I’d be making, I won’t have to work after 40.I told him no thanks. I know the spokesperson never retires.
  53. I got a bike for my girlfriend… Best trade I have ever made.
  54. What would a bike say after a long drive?I’m two tired.
  55. Elsa from frozen died when when walking in the bike-lane… It was an icicle accident.
  56. A fifteen-year-old came home with a Porsche, and his parents began to yell and scream”Where did you get that car?”He calmly told them, “I bought it today.””With what money!?” demanded his parents. “We know what a Porsche costs.””Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me fifteen dollars.”The parents began to yell even louder. “Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars!?” they asked.”It was the lady up the street,” said the boy. “Don’t know her name — they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars.””Oh my goodness!” moaned the mother, “she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what’s going on.”So the boy’s father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting flowers. He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche to for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.”Well,” she said, “this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but I learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary. Then apparently she stole all his money and stranded him there!Well he called me, without a dollar to his name, and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So that’s exactly what I did.”
  57. Every morning I get out of the house, a bike keeps running me over.It’s a vicious cycle.
  58. Back in the 1980s, I fell off my bike, twisted my foot, and hurt my knee.I’m telling you this now because there was no social media back then
  59. How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb?… Hey, lets go ride bikes!
  60. I used to pray every night for a bicycle.Then I realized the Lord doesn’t work like that. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
  61. Did you hear about the mountain bike who forgot his true purpose?He was wheelie lost.
  62. What does a custodian’s bikes sound like?… “Broom”
  63. What does witch’s bikes sound like?… “Broom”