August Jokes for Teachers

by | Jul 22, 2021 | Education, Latest News, School Jokes

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  1. August 1st: Top 10 August Jokes: Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gust of wind over 74 MPH could be the start of a hurricane! (Hurricane Jokes)
  2. August 2nd: National Ice Cream Sandwich Day: What kind of snack do you have during a scary movie?…. I scream (ice cream). (Field Trip Jokes for Kids & Ice Cream Jokes)
  3. August 3rd National Watermelon Day: Top 10 Watermelon Jokes: Why was the teacher suspicious of the Watermelon during the exam… She couldn’t really put her finger on it. He just looked a little seedy.
  4. August 4th Top 10 Chocolate Chip Cookie Jokes: My grandmother bakes chocolate chip cookies the fastest… It literally takes her nana-seconds. (Grandparent Jokes)
  5. I was almost expelled from archery school… but my Dad pulled some strings! (Archery Jokes)
  6. Why did the kindergartener bring a spoon to his first day of school?…  He thought it was sundae school. 
  7. Where do you learn to skate?… In a boarding school. (Skateboarding Jokes)
  8. Is today really August? …Or are Julying to me? (July Jokes)
  9. Top 10 Hurricane Jokes: What did the Hurricane say to coast?… I have my eye on you. (Biology Jokes)
  10. Top 10 Full Moon Jokes: Why wasn’t the moon hungry?… Because it was full! (Astronomy Jokes for Kids)
  11. Top 10 Back to School Jokes: On the first day of school, what did the teacher say her three favorite words were?… June, July & August. (Back to School Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  12. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gust of wind A gust of wind blew my homework away! (Hurricane Jokes)
  13. Why did the giraffe get bad grades?… He had his head in the clouds. (Giraffe Jokes)
  14. August 12th World Elephant Day: 2021 World Elephant Day Jokes: 21 Funny Elephant Jokes: Teacher: What’s gray, has four legs and a trunk? Student: An elephant. Teacher: No, a mouse on vacation. (Teacher Jokes)
  15. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about August? (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  16. Knock! Knock!… Who is there?… Teddy!… Teddy who?… Teddy (today) is the first day of school! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
  17. I tried being a teacher, but I soon lost my principal, my faculties, and my class. (Labor Day Jokes)
  18. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta go high school tryouts! (Super Bowl Jokes)
  19. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah who?… Noah more summer vacation – it’s time for school! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the 1st Day of School
  20. A man walks up to the counter. “Two pairs of underwear please.” The man behind the counter looks at him in disbelief. “Only two pairs of underwear?” “Yup. I wear one while the other is in the wash.” The man behind the counter looks at him in disgust, then rings out his order. A second man walks in. “5 pairs of underwear please.” “Only 5 eh?” “Yeah, I wear one for every weekday, then go commando all the weekend.” The man behind the counter shakes his head. “Well, you’re better then the last guy!” A third man walks in. “7 pairs of underwear please.” “Finally, a man who knows hygiene!” “Yes, I do try. One for every day, and I do my laundry on Sunday.” At the end of the day, a fourth man walks into the underwear store. “12 pairs of underwear please.” “Wow! You must be really clean!” The man smiles. “Yup, that’s me! Err, hang on, let me see if I counted right. January, February, March, April…” (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  21. Why do trees hate tests?… Because they get stumped by the questions.
  22. My wife’s panties are labelled ‘Monday’, ‘Tuesday’, ‘Wednesday’ … My underwear is labelled ‘January’, February’, ‘March’… (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  23. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… Augustus was a Roman statesman and military leader who was the first emperor of the Roman Empire, reigning from 27 BC until his death in AD 14.
  24. The doctor has given me two months to live. I’ve chosen August and December, because I like summer but don’t want to miss Christmas.
  25. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gust of wind over 74 MPH could be the start of a hurricane! (Hurricane Jokes)
  26. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gust of wind knocked me over! 
  27. August 9th: Shark Week Which sharks would you find at a construction site?… Hammerhead sharks. (Top 10 Shark Jokes)
  28. August 2nd: Shark Week What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter sandwiches?… Jellyfish. (Peanut Butter Jokes & Top 10 Shark Jokes)
  29. A schoolteacher was taking her first golf lesson. “Is the word spelled p-u-t or p-u-t-t?” she asked the instructor. “P-u-t-t is correct,” he replied. “Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing.” (Golf Jokes)
  30. Why didn’t the golfer get his homework done?… He was puttering around. (Golf Jokes)
  31. My childhood crush and I are finally getting married this year! Me in August, and her in November.
  32. August 3rd: Shark Week Which sharks do you find in heaven?… Angel sharks. (Top 10 Shark Jokes)
  33. August 12th: World Elephant Day: Why didn’t the elephant buy a suitcase for his summer vacation?… Because he already had a trunk! (Elephant Jokes for Kids)
  34. August 4th: Shark Week What do you call a solitary shark?… A “lone” (loan) shark. (Top 10 Shark Jokes) Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gust of wind is helpful when flying a kite!
  35. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gust of wind is helpful when sailing!
  36. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gust of wind is helpful when windsurfing.
  37. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta go to the bathroom before we go!
  38. On the first day of school, what did the teacher say her three favorite words were?… June, July & August. (Back to School Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  39. Why did the peanut never come to school?… Because everyone was allergic to him.
  40. (Peanut Jokes)
  41. What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas?… It took a leaf of absence. (Tree Jokes)
  42. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta go back to school shopping! (Back to School Jokes)
  43. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta go back to school! (Back to School Jokes)
  44. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta go back to football practice! (Football Jokes)
  45. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta go back to soccer practice! (Soccer Jokes)
  46. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta go back to volleyball practice! (Volleyball Jokes)
  47. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta go back to cross country practice!
  48. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta go back to field hockey practice!
  49. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta go back to cheerleading practice!
  50. August 1st: Shark Week Which sharks would you find at a construction site?… Hammerhead sharks. (Top 10 Shark Jokes)
  51. August 31st: International Bacon Day: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer’s day?… I’m bacon! (Summer Jokes) (Bacon Jokes)
  52. August 2nd: Shark Week What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter sandwiches?… Jellyfish. (Peanut Butter Jokes& Top 10 Shark Jokes)
  53. August 3rd: Shark Week Which sharks do you find in heaven?… Angel sharks. (Top 10 Shark Jokes)
  54. Shark Week What do you call a solitary shark?… A “lone” (loan) shark. (Top 10 Shark Jokes)
  55. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… Augustus was a Roman statesman and military leader who was the first emperor of the Roman Empire, reigning from 27 BC until his death in AD 14.
  56. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gust of wind over 74 MPH could be the start of a hurricane! (Hurricane Jokes)
  57. August 8th Back to School Jokes: A book never written: “When Does School Start?” by Wendy Belrings.
  58. Back to School Jokes: Student: The first day of school is always special to me. It’s the only day of the year when I’m not behind in my homework. (Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
  59. Why is Alabama the smartest state?… Because it has 4 A’s and 1 B! (Top 50 State Jokes)
  60. Back to School Jokes: Mother: How did you find school on the 1st day today? Daughter: I just got off the bus and there it was! (Mother’s Day Jokes)
  61. Full Moon Jokes: Why wasn’t the moon hungry?… Because it was full! (Astronomy Jokes for Kids &Full Moon Names & Meanings 1)
  62. Back to School Jokes: The first day of school is exciting, but so is riding a roller coaster, and I wouldn’t want to do that for nine months in a row either.
  63. Back to School Jokes: Teacher: What would happen if you took the school bus home? Student: The police would make you bring it back! (Police Jokes for Kids)
  64. Back to School Jokes:
  65. Everyone keeps posting about Mayweather, but I’m 99% sure it’s August.