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More Swimming Jokes…

Summer Guest Blogs & Summer Jokes for Kids

  1. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best swimming jokes.
  2. WARNING: A message to any weak/beginning swimmers thinking about swimming in the deep end of the pool today: I’d advise you not to… you’ll be in over your head.
  3. Funny Swimming Pool Signs: “Welcome to our _OOL, Notice there is no “P” in it. We’d like you to keep it that way.”
  4. A lifeguard reprimanded a kid: Lifeguard: Boy! Stop peeing in the pool! Boy: But everyone does! Lifeguard: I know, but not from the diving board! (Summer Camp Jokes)
  5. If you thought swimming with dolphins was expensive, you should try swimming with sharks …. It cost me an arm and a leg! (Shark Jokes & Dolphin Jokes)
  6. I was going to take a winter swim… But after wading in I got cold feet. (Winter Jokes)
  7. If you fall into water and don’t know how to swim… You have the rest of your life to learn.
  8. A man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool… I don’t know what they’re filling the pool with, because he abruptly left when I offered him a glass of water!
  9. What should you do if you see a shark?… Swim away. (Shark Jokes)
  10. I went swimming with dolphins yesterday but there was one problem… They were too clicky! (Dolphin Jokes)
  11. Dad: You wanna join the navy? You can’t even swim! Son: No one can fly in the Air Force either. (Dad Jokes)
  12. Why do they actually prefer non-swimmers in the Navy?… They defend their ship with a lot more enthusiasm. (Navy Jokes)
  13. What do you call a fish who raps?… Swim Shady. (Music Jokes)
  14. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. (Labor Day Jokes)
  15. Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda… I guess it was just a Fanta sea! (Napping Jokes)
  16. What kind of candy would a drowning person like to have?… A life saver! (Oceans Jokes & Candy Jokes)
  17. What is the only way a cheap person will swim?… Freestyle.
  18. Why do outdoor swimming pools cost less than indoor swimming pools?… Because there’s less overhead.
  19. Swimming’s good for you… Especially if you’re drowning!
  20. I made some fish tacos last night… They just swam away and ignored them. (Fish Jokes & Swimming Jokes)
  21. I don’t understand why people are afraid to swim when there is lightning nearby… If lightning actually hit my pool I’d be totally shocked! (Rain Jokes)
  22. A hole has been discovered in the swimming pool changing rooms… The police are looking into it. (Police Jokes)
  23. What detergent do swimmers use to wash their bathing suits?… Tide!
  24. What kind of dive are infantry men best at?… Cannon-ball! (Civil War Jokes)
  25. I’ve finally managed to conquer my addiction to swimming… I’ve been dry for six months now.
  26. What was the weather like when the right angle went swimming?… It was 90 degrees. (Math Jokes for Kids)
  27. How do swimmers clean themselves?… They wash up on shore! (Ocean Jokes)
  28. Memorial Day 2020: Not a single person at those Memorial Day swim parties in Missouri was social distancing. They were packed in there, shoulder-to-shoulder, splashing around, making a… …second wave pool. (Covid Jokes & Swimming Jokes)
  29. Two fish are swimming in a lake. They run into a concrete wall that blocks their path. One fish turns to the other and says ‘Dam.’
  30. What race is never run?… A swimming race. (Summer Jokes for Kids)
  31. What do scuba divers wear to bed?… A snore-kel. (Napping Jokes)
  32. Where do zombies like to go swimming?… The Dead Sea (Ocean Jokes)
  33. What do you call a small pole that can swim?… A tadpole. (Frog Jokes)
  34. What do you call a swim team made up of girls named Jennifer?… Hydrogens! (Chemistry Jokes for Teachers)
  35. A book never written: “How to Swim” by I.M. Senkin. (Book Jokes & Canoe Jokes)
  36. Where do ghosts like to go swimming?… Lake Eerie. (Ghost Jokes & New York Jokes)
  37. What kind of stroke can you use on toast?… BUTTER-fly! (Butter Jokes)
  38. I watched hockey before it was cool… They basically were swimming. (Hockey Jokes)
  39. Where do race cars go swimming?…  In a car pool. (Car Jokes)
  40. What is a pencil’s favorite sport?… Diving (the pencil dive)! (Pencil Jokes)
  41. How do pirates measure the distance they swim?… In YARRRRRds. (Pirate Jokes)
  42. What did Cinderella wear when she went swimming in the ocean?… Glass flippers! (Cinderella Jokes & Ocean Jokes for Kids)
  43. Funny Swimming Pool Signs: “We don’t swim in your toilet, please don’t pee in our pool.”
  44. A new study shows sharks only bite those who swim in the ocean… Researchers advise not swimming there. (Shark Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  45. Where do mummies swim?… In the Dead Sea.
  46. What stroke do sheep enjoy doing?… The baaaackstroke! (Sheep Jokes)
  47. What do you call someone who refuses to accept that they’re swimming in an African river?… In de Nile. (Psychology Jokes & World Geography Jokes)
  48. Why did a person keep doing the backstroke?… He  just had lunch and didn’t want to swim on a full stomach.
  49. I am very good at swimming…some might even say I am eFISHient at it. (Fishing)