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Top Joke Pages:
Summer Guest Blogs & Summer Jokes for Kids
- Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best swimming jokes.
- WARNING: A message to any weak/beginning swimmers thinking about swimming in the deep end of the pool today: I’d advise you not to… you’ll be in over your head.
- Funny Swimming Pool Signs: “Welcome to our _OOL, Notice there is no “P” in it. We’d like you to keep it that way.”
- A lifeguard reprimanded a kid: Lifeguard: Boy! Stop peeing in the pool! Boy: But everyone does! Lifeguard: I know, but not from the diving board! (Summer Camp Jokes)
- If you thought swimming with dolphins was expensive, you should try swimming with sharks …. It cost me an arm and a leg! (Shark Jokes & Dolphin Jokes)
- I was going to take a winter swim… But after wading in I got cold feet. (Winter Jokes)
- If you fall into water and don’t know how to swim… You have the rest of your life to learn.
- A man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool… I don’t know what they’re filling the pool with, because he abruptly left when I offered him a glass of water!
- What should you do if you see a shark?… Swim away. (Shark Jokes)
- I went swimming with dolphins yesterday but there was one problem… They were too clicky! (Dolphin Jokes)
- Dad: You wanna join the navy? You can’t even swim! Son: No one can fly in the Air Force either. (Dad Jokes)
- Why do they actually prefer non-swimmers in the Navy?… They defend their ship with a lot more enthusiasm. (Navy Jokes)
- What do you call a fish who raps?… Swim Shady. (Music Jokes)
- I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. (Labor Day Jokes)
- Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda… I guess it was just a Fanta sea! (Napping Jokes)
- What kind of candy would a drowning person like to have?… A life saver! (Oceans Jokes & Candy Jokes)
- What is the only way a cheap person will swim?… Freestyle.
- Why do outdoor swimming pools cost less than indoor swimming pools?… Because there’s less overhead.
- Swimming’s good for you… Especially if you’re drowning!
- I made some fish tacos last night… They just swam away and ignored them. (Fish Jokes & Swimming Jokes)
- I don’t understand why people are afraid to swim when there is lightning nearby… If lightning actually hit my pool I’d be totally shocked! (Rain Jokes)
- A hole has been discovered in the swimming pool changing rooms… The police are looking into it. (Police Jokes)
- What detergent do swimmers use to wash their bathing suits?… Tide!
- What kind of dive are infantry men best at?… Cannon-ball! (Civil War Jokes)
- I’ve finally managed to conquer my addiction to swimming… I’ve been dry for six months now.
- What was the weather like when the right angle went swimming?… It was 90 degrees. (Math Jokes for Kids)
- How do swimmers clean themselves?… They wash up on shore! (Ocean Jokes)
- Memorial Day 2020: Not a single person at those Memorial Day swim parties in Missouri was social distancing. They were packed in there, shoulder-to-shoulder, splashing around, making a… …second wave pool. (Covid Jokes & Swimming Jokes)
- Two fish are swimming in a lake. They run into a concrete wall that blocks their path. One fish turns to the other and says ‘Dam.’
- What race is never run?… A swimming race. (Summer Jokes for Kids)
- What do scuba divers wear to bed?… A snore-kel. (Napping Jokes)
- Where do zombies like to go swimming?… The Dead Sea (Ocean Jokes)
- What do you call a small pole that can swim?… A tadpole. (Frog Jokes)
- What do you call a swim team made up of girls named Jennifer?… Hydrogens! (Chemistry Jokes for Teachers)
- A book never written: “How to Swim” by I.M. Senkin. (Book Jokes & Canoe Jokes)
- Where do ghosts like to go swimming?… Lake Eerie. (Ghost Jokes & New York Jokes)
- What kind of stroke can you use on toast?… BUTTER-fly! (Butter Jokes)
- I watched hockey before it was cool… They basically were swimming. (Hockey Jokes)
- Where do race cars go swimming?… In a car pool. (Car Jokes)
- What is a pencil’s favorite sport?… Diving (the pencil dive)! (Pencil Jokes)
- How do pirates measure the distance they swim?… In YARRRRRds. (Pirate Jokes)
- What did Cinderella wear when she went swimming in the ocean?… Glass flippers! (Cinderella Jokes & Ocean Jokes for Kids)
- Funny Swimming Pool Signs: “We don’t swim in your toilet, please don’t pee in our pool.”
- A new study shows sharks only bite those who swim in the ocean… Researchers advise not swimming there. (Shark Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
- Where do mummies swim?… In the Dead Sea.
- What stroke do sheep enjoy doing?… The baaaackstroke! (Sheep Jokes)
- What do you call someone who refuses to accept that they’re swimming in an African river?… In de Nile. (Psychology Jokes & World Geography Jokes)
- Why did a person keep doing the backstroke?… He just had lunch and didn’t want to swim on a full stomach.
- I am very good at swimming…some might even say I am eFISHient at it. (Fishing)