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  1. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best graduation jokes.
  2. What do you tell a bag of popcorn after it graduates from College?… Corn-gratulations. (College Jokes & Popcorn Jokes)
  3. “When they hand you your diploma, keep moving. Just in case they try to take it back.”
  4. Spring Fever: Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped a final exam needed to graduate . After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire. Much to their relief she smiled and said, “Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper.” Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said: “First Question: Which tire was flat?” (Spring Jokes)
  5.  Name a bus you can never enter?… A syllabus. (College Jokes & Graduation Jokes)
  6. Why did Christopher Columbus say his compasses and scales were intelligent?… Because they all graduated. (College Jokes & Columbus Day Jokes)
  7. Which did Columbus way was smarter, longitude or latitude?… Longitude, because it has 360 degrees. (College Jokes & Columbus Day Jokes)
  8. College is similar to high school… To a degree. (College Jokes & Graduation Jokes)
  9. Teacher: Where did your mom graduate to high school? Student: Alaska. Teacher: Never mind, I’ll ask her myself. (Mother’s Day Jokes & Alaska Jokes)
  10. What kind of school do you graduate from if you’re a giant?… High school. (High School Jokes)
  11. After Graduating from High School, A son moves away from home to study at University. One of his letters home reads: Dear Father, University i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an’t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on. After receiving his son’s letter, the father immediately replies by sending a letter back. Dear Son, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh. Love, Dad
  12. It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father. “Let’s try to make this look natural” she said. “Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder.” The father answered, “If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?” (Father’s Day Jokes for Kids)
  13. I was surprised when a friend said he’ll work at KFC right after graduation.. Out of curiosity, I asked him why. All he said was, “It’s on my bucket list.” (Fast Food Jokes)
  14. I went to an ocean themed (retirement / graduation / birthday / prom) party… It was a whale of a time. (Whale Jokes)
  15. After twelve years of carrying books to school, you’re well prepared for a career in backpacking. (Hiking Jokes & Camping Jokes)
  16. I ordered a graduation cake for my son.The baker asked me what I wanted it to say. Wow, talking cakes, who knew? (Cake Jokes)
  17. I didn’t graduate with honors. I was honored just to graduate. – Melanie White
  18. My son just graduated from college. My friends asked me what he majored in. I told them he was studying to be an astronaut: he took up space. (Astronomy Jokes)
  19. My college graduation was held inside the basketball arena and man was it hot. It must have been like 5,000 degrees in there. (Basketball Jokes)
  20. A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.
  21. Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you take the diploma, shake the dean’s hand. (College Jokes)
  22. I used to get into fights at the drop of a hat. Which is probably why I got fired from my job as a graduation photographer. (Labor Day Jokes)
  23. What do you get when you complete science class?… A graduated cylinder. (Chemistry Jokes for Kids)
  24. My 10 year high school reunion was this weekend… I ran into these twin brothers I hadn’t seen since graduation, and I thought to myself.. “Well, you two still look the same.” (College Jokes / High School Jokes / Twin Jokes)
  25. It’s tough out there, but if you take your education and apply yourselves, you will eventually succeed in finding… unpaid internship! (Career Blogs)
  26. What did the swordfish say to the marlin on graduation day?… Looking sharp! (Fish Jokes)
  27. Why did the graduate bury all his money?…. to make his soil rich! (Farming Jokes)
  28. Why did the graduate put his money in the freezer? … He wanted cold hard cash!
  29. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Gladys… Gladys, who?… Gladys graduation day! (Summer Jokes)
  30. Graduation Party: Knock Knock. Who’s there?…Dishes….Dishes who?… Dishes the police, come out with your hands up!! (Police Jokes for Kids)
  31. What state has the the loudest graduations?… ILL-I-NOISE! (Top U.S. State Jokes)
  32. Graduation: where you trade the agony of writing term papers for the agony of writing resumes. (Grammar Jokes)
  33. Did you hear about the statistics major who ended up homeless when they couldn’t find a job after graduation?… It was a real bad after-math. (Math Jokes for Kids)
  34. One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is. (Hat Jokes)
  35. A waiter approaches a table celebrating their daughters graduation…Father: Our daughter just graduated from SCU with an English degree! Waiter: That’s so great! Congratulations! I actually have a Master’s degree in English Literature myself. Can I get you folks started with some chips and salsa? (Grammar Jokes & Cinco De Mayo Jokes)
  36. I got hit by a car on my way to my graduation… The worst part is, I had the right of passage. (Car Jokes)
  37. I’d advise you graduates to keep your graduation gown. It’s the only outfit you might not outgrow.
  38. Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated. (Psychology Jokes)
  39. Graduations are so immature… You can hardly get to the end without name calling.
  40. At my college graduation I saw a bowl of fruit punch…So I told a bunch of my friends “I want to make a joke which requires some audience participation.”Then, I proceeded to instruct them to stand, single file, in front of the bowl. Once they had, I told them “Here’s the punch line.” (Watermelon Jokes)
  41. Why did the M&M want to graduate college?… Because he wanted to be a Smarty. (Candy Jokes for Kids)
  42. Why didn’t the sun graduate college?… Because it already had a million degrees! (College Jokes & Sun Jokes)
  43. A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.” “But I’m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom – I’ll show you how.”
  44. Why did the students study in the airplane?…. Because they wanted higher grades. (Pilot Jokes for Kids)
  45. I think I proved something very important at graduation: that I could walk and chew gum at the same time. – Melanie White (Gum Jokes for Kids)
  46. Graduation was the first time that the school actually gave me something I wanted to read. – Melanie White (Book Jokes)
  47. LinkedIn is the worst dating app… All people want to talk about is work and what I plan on doing after graduation. (Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  48. The ice breaker I used for my graduation speech today… What do you call the speed of an herbal beverage at any given time?… Veloci-tea. (Tea Jokes)
  49. The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.
  50. What do you buy a friend graduating from Law School?… A law-botomy. (Lawyer Jokes)
  51. How many college graduates does it take to change a light bulb?… One, but it may take up to seven years! (College Jokes)
  52. What did the clothes designer say to her son at his graduation?… “I’m Prada you son.” (World Geography Jokes)
  53. At my high school graduation I saw a bowl of fruit punch…So I told a bunch of my friends “I want to make a joke which requires some audience participation.”Then, I proceeded to instruct them to stand, single file, in front of the bowl. Once they had, I told them “Here’s the punch line.” (High School Graduation Jokes)
  54. You have committed the grave tactical blunder of acquiring enough university credits to graduate. So now you’re leaving college and embarking on the greatest adventure – and the biggest challenge – of your young lives: moving back in with your parents.
  55. After 72 years since not completing her college course, my Grandma finally went back and earned her very first diploma……I asked her what will she be wearing for her graduation ceremony and she said depends. (Grandparent Jokes)
  56. Why didn’t the skeleton go to graduation?… Cause he had ‘no body’ to dance with. (Skeleton Jokes)
  57. When I graduated from high school, I was so poor and couldn’t afford college. So my parents sent me to dog training school. I learned a lot when I was there. Sit, stay, roll over. I haven’t quite got the fetching part down. They say I’m a little rough around the edges. (Dog Jokes)
  58. I’ll be honest. I did not graduate at the top of my class. In fact, I was so close to the bottom, my sheepskin had a tail. (Sheep Jokes)
  59. When I finished high school I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18, and I could just have his motorcycle. (High School Graduation Jokes)
  60. I will never forget my daughter’s words to me at her graduation.”Wow dad. After 18 years you decide to come back…” (Father’s Day Jokes)
  61. While watching graduation, I like to think all my students have the same potential. However, when shaking their hands afterwards, I really felt that wasn’t true. It was quite shocking!
  62. “Dude, I have no idea how to write my graduation composition. Do you have any hint?””Why don’t you try coping professor X’s piece he wrote when getting his D.A.?””I did. It turned out to be Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony.”
  63. Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour. (Movie Jokes)
  64. I spent my time during graduation pretty much the same way I spent it in class: sleeping.- Melanie White
  65. What school teaches you how to greet people?… Hi School. (High School Jokes)