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Top 10 January Jokes

  1. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Abbie!… Abbie who?… Abbie New Year! (January Knock Knock Jokes)
  2. January 1st: Top 10 New Year’s Day Jokes: What New Year’s Resolution should a basketball player never make?… To travel more… (365 Basketball Jokes)
  3. January 4th: National Spaghetti Day Jokes Top 10 Spaghetti Jokes What do you call something that tastes like pasta, looks like pasta but isn’t pasta?… An impasta! (Pasta Jokes)
  4. January 5th: I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th… Because I know how to reduce fractions unlike the rest of you morons. (Math Jokes for Teachers)
  5. January 5th: National Bird Day Jokes Top 10 Bird Jokes: What’s a good winter tip?… Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter. (Winter Jokes for Kids & Bird Jokes)
  6. January 6th: When it gets to January, I’m going to overthrow the Government!… It’ll be my new year’s Revolution. (Social Studies Jokes New Year’s Day Jokes)
  7. January 6th: Does anyone recall the guy in the superhero outfit at the Capitol on January 6th?… He was on the far right.
  8. January 8th Christmas was unlike any other during Covid. My gifts were delivered on January 8 instead of December 25. Santa was asked to quarantine for 14 days. (Covid Jokes)
  9. Wolf Moon JokesWhy did the werewolf go to the dressing room when she saw the full Wolf Moon?… She needed to change. (Halloween Jokes & Werewolf Jokes)
  10. Full Moon JokesNeil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon. When nobody laughed he would follow with, “Ah well. I guess you had to be there.” (Walking Jokes)
  11. January 11th National Milk Day: Top 10 Milk JokesWhat do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?… A MILK DUD! (Candy Jokes & Cow Jokes)
  12. January 13th: On January 13, 2018, everyone in Hawaii was mad about the malfunction of the early warning system, the fools… Hawaii IS the early warning system… (Hawaii Jokes)
  13. Friday January 13th: Friday the 13th Jokes: What do get when you cross Jason Voorhees and a box of cherrios?… A cereal killer. (Cereal Jokes)
  14. January 15th National Bagel Day: Top 10 Bagel Jokes: What kind of bagel can fly?… A plain bagel. (Pilot Jokes)
  15. January 15th National Hat Day: Top 10 Hat Jokes: Why are hat jokes the hardest to understand?… Because they always go right over your head!
  16. January 16th Appreciate a Dragon Day: Why do dragons often sleep during the day?… So they can fight knights! (Knight Jokes & Dragon Jokes)
  17. What comes at the start of January?… “J.” (New Year’s Day Jokes & Grammar Jokes)
  18. January 18th Winnie the Pooh Day: Top 10 Winnie the Pooh Jokes: What’s Winnie’s favorite bird?… Christopher Robin. (Bird Jokes)
  19. January 19th: National Popcorn Day JokesPopcorn Jokes: What do you call a really high ranking snack?… A popcorn colonel. (Memorial Day Jokes & Veterans Day Jokes & Popcorn Jokes)
  20. January 20th National Penguin Day: Why don’t you see any penguins in Britain?… Because they’re afraid of Wales! (World Geography Jokes & Whale Jokes)
  21. January 20th Inauguration Day: Top 10 Inauguration Jokes What’s Joe doing until January 20th?… BIDEN his time. (Inauguration Jokes)
  22. What did the triple jumper say to the track & field team on January 1st?… Hoppy New Year (365 Sports Jokes & Track & Field Jokes)
  23. January 23rd National Pie Day: Top 10 Pie Jokes What snack did the teacher in Maine give her students on the last day of school?…  Whoopie Pi! (Jokes for the Last Day of School & Maine Jokes)
  24. January 24th: National Peanut Butter Day JokesTop 10 Peanut Butter Jokes Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter?…  I’m nut telling you. You might spread it!Why shouldn’t you kiss anyone on January 1st?… Because it’s only the first date. (New Year’s Day Jokes)
  25. Friday the 13thWhat do get when you cross Jason Voorhees and a box of cherrios?… A cereal killer. (Cereal Jokes)
  26. Who helped Cinderella with her New Year’s Resolutions?… Her Janufairy Godmother. (Cinderella Jokes)
  27. Student: Can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: It’s may. Student: No, it’s January! (Teacher Jokes / January Jokes for Teachers / Grammar Jokes)
  28. What does a ghost say on Jan. 1?… Happy Boo Year! (Ghost Jokes New Year’s Day Jokes)
  29. A historian, a journalist, and a political scientist walk into a bar on January 25, 1993…[Citation Needed]
  30. Why did the teacher put the new calendar in the freezer?… To start off the New Year in a cool way. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & January Jokes for Teachers)
  31. This Date in History: January 28, 1521. The Diet of Worms begins and lasts until people get tired of eating worms. (Worm Jokes & Social Studies Jokes)
  32. I’ve done a lot of stupid stuff in my life, but at least I’ve never signed up at the gym in January. (New Year’s Day Jokes)
  33. Where did the chef go to celebrate New Year?… Thyme’s Square!
  34. Which month does the Brady Bunch like most?… JANuary.
  35. January 31st: The date is January 31, 1990, and the Soviet Union has opened its first McDonalds… A KGB agent walks up to order and says, “One vodka, please.” The woman at the register looks and says, “Comrade, this is a McDonald’s. We don’t serve vodka.” The KGB agent looks surprised and says, “Excuse my mistake, comrade. One McVodka, please.” (Fast Food Jokes World Geography Jokes)
  36. What do you call always having a date for New Year’s Eve?… Social Security. (New Year’s Eve Jokes & Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  37. What comes at the end of January?… “Y.” (Grammar Jokes)
  38. What did the cheerleaders say on New Year’s Day?… Happy New Cheer! (Cheerleading Jokes)
  39. WWII: The USSR’s three greatest generals. What’re the names of the USSR’s three greatest generals?… December, January, and February! (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  40. The FBI recently found a common link among those that stormed the capital on the January 6th riots… Turns out they all shop at Traitor Joe’s.
  41. Why do you need a phone on New Year’s Eve?… To ring in the New Year!
  42. How did Jack Frost get to work on New Year’s Day?… By icicle.
  43. What do you call a New England male teacher who returns from Florida for Winter Vacation?… a “Tan” gent. (Math Jokes for Teachers & January Jokes for Teachers)
  44. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Gladys… Gladys who?… Gladys January. Aren’t you? (January Knock Knock Jokes)
  45. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best jokes about January? (January Knock Knock Jokes)
  46. What do you have in December that you don’t have in January?… The letter D. (Grammar Jokes)
  47. What’s for breakfast on really cold January days?… Snowflakes. (Cereal Jokes)
  48. A man walks up to the counter. “Two pairs of underwear please.” The man behind the counter looks at him in disbelief. “Only two pairs of underwear?” “Yup. I wear one while the other is in the wash.” The man behind the counter looks at him in disgust, then rings out his order. A second man walks in. “5 pairs of underwear please.” “Only 5 eh?” “Yeah, I wear one for every weekday, then go commando all the weekend.” The man behind the counter shakes his head. “Well, you’re better than the last guy!” A third man walks in. “7 pairs of underwear please.” “Finally, a man who knows hygiene!” “Yes, I do try. One for every day, and I do my laundry on Sunday.” At the end of the day, a fourth man walks into the underwear store. “12 pairs of underwear please.” “Wow! You must be really clean!” The man smiles. “Yup, that’s me! Err, hang on, let me see if I counted right. January, February, March, April…” (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  49. What falls in the January but never gets hurt?… Snow. (Snow Jokes)
  50. What do you call a nice ghost on a cold January night?… Casp-burr. (Ghost Jokes)
  51. What was the snowman’s New Year’s resolution?… To break into snow business!