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More Swimming Jokes…

  1. What race is never run?… A swimming race. (Summer Jokes for Kids)
  2. WARNING: A message to any weak/beginning swimmers thinking about swimming in the deep end of the pool today: I’d advise you not to; you’ll be in over your head.
  3. Why did the teacher jump into the water?… She wanted to test it! (Jokes for Teachers)
  4. Funny Swimming Pool Signs: “Welcome to our _OOL, Notice there is no “P” in it. We’d like you to keep it that way.”
  5. A man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I don’t know what they’re filling the pool with, because he abruptly left when I offered him a glass of water!
  6. Why do outdoor swimming pools cost less than indoor swimming pools?… Because there’s less overhead.
  7. I went swimming with dolphins yesterday but there was one problem… They were too clicky! (Dolphin Jokes)
  8. I don’t understand why people are afraid to swim when there is lightning nearby… If lightning actually hit my pool I’d be totally shocked! (Rain Jokes)
  9. What do you call a fish who raps?… Swim Shady. (Music Jokes)
  10. A lifeguard reprimand a kid: Lifeguard: Boy! Stop peeing in the pool! Boy: But everyone does! Lifeguard: I know, but not from the diving board!
  11. What is the best exercise for swimmers?… Pool-ups!
  12. I watched hockey before it was cool. They basically were swimming. (Hockey Jokes)
  13. Swimming’s good for you… Especially if you’re drowning!
  14. What kind of candy would a drowning person like to have?… A life saver! (Oceans Jokes & Candy Jokes)
  15. Did you hear about the baby swimmer?… He could only do the crawl. (Baby Jokes)
  16. What do you call someone who refuses to accept that they’re swimming in an African river?… In de Nile.
  17. What kind of stroke can you use on toast?… BUTTER-fly!
  18. There are 3 boys, named StupidNothing, and Nobody. The boys go down to the river, and Nobody falls in the water, he can’t swim, so Nothing tells Stupid to call for help. Stupid calls 911 and says… “Hello, I’m Stupid, I’m calling for Nothing, Nobody fell in the water.” (Police Jokes)
  19. I’ve finally managed to conquer my addiction to swimming… I’ve been dry for six months now.
  20. Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda… I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
  21. How do pirates measure the distance they swim?… In YARRRRRds.
  22. What do scuba divers wear to bed?… A snore-kel. (Napping Jokes)
  23. Why did the vegetarians stop swimming?… They didn’t like meets!
  24. If you thought swimming with dolphins was expensive, you should try swimming with sharks …. It cost me an arm and a leg! (Shark Jokes & Dolphin Jokes)
  25. I am very good at swimming…some might even say I am eFISHient at it.
  26. What is a pencil’s favorite sport?… Diving (the pencil dive)! (Pencil Jokes)
  27. What detergent do swimmers use to wash their bathing suits?… Tide!
  28. I was going to take a winter swim… But after wading in I got cold feet. (Winter Jokes)
  29. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. (Labor Day Jokes)
  30. A hole has been discovered in the swimming pool changing rooms. The police are looking into it. (Police Jokes)
  31. What do you call a small pole that can swim?… A tadpole.
  32. What kind of dive are infantry men best at?… Cannon-ball! (Civil War Jokes)
  33. Where do race cars go swimming?…  In a car pool. (Car Jokes)
  34. What did Cinderella wear when she went swimming in the ocean?… Glass flippers! (Cinderella Jokes & Ocean Jokes for Kids)
  35. What word looks the same backwards and upside down?… Swims. (Letter of the Week & Grammar Jokes)
  36. What kind of swimmer makes a good gardener?… One with great seed times! (Flower Jokes)
  37. Why did the swimmer go back in time?… Because he was doing the backstroke! (Daylight Savings Jokes)
  38. How do you call a father in a swimming pool?… Dad in the water. (Dad Jokes)
  39. Where do zombies like to go swimming?… The Dead Sea (Ocean Jokes)
  40. What do a dentist and a swim coach have in common?… They both use drills! (Dentist Jokes)
  41. A new study shows sharks only bite those who swim in the ocean. Researchers advise not swimming there. (Shark Jokes Ocean Jokes)