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- Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Covid jokes.
- What should you do if you don’t understand a coronavirus joke?… Be patient.
- Knock-Knock!… Go home, you’re supposed to be social distancing.
- They said that a mask and gloves were enough to go to the supermarket. They lied… everyone else has clothes on.
- I know a great joke about Corona Virus… you probably won’t get it though.
- Thinking a mask is going to stop Covid-19 is the same as thinking that your underpants will protect everyone from a fart.
- Has anyone else’s gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have?… I planted myself on my couch at the beginning of March 2020 and I’ve grown significantly since. (Flower Jokes & Covid Jokes)
- Memorial Day 2020: Not a single person at those Memorial Day swim parties in Missouri was social distancing. They were packed in there, shoulder-to-shoulder, splashing around, making a… …second wave pool. (Covid Jokes & Swimming Jokes)
- With Coronavirus a big concern in 2020, what is the #1 side dish for Thanksgiving?… Masked potatoes. (Thanksgiving Jokes & Doctor Jokes)
- I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch them with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!
- The taco chef hasn’t turned up to work for a week…. He has a bad queso Covid. (Labor Day Jokes & Taco Jokes)
- Who’s idea was it to sing “Happy Birthday” while washing your hands?… Now every time I go to the bathroom, my kids expect me to walk out with a cake. (Birthday Jokes / Covid Jokes / Cake Jokes)
- I just heard that the government has made an amendment during lockdown to allow Father Christmas out… It’s called the Santa Clause. (Covid Jokes / Christmas Jokes / Lawyer Jokes)
- How do aliens get vaccinated?… With a Space Needle. (Washington Jokes)
- If I get quarantined for two weeks with my wife and I die… I can assure you it was not the virus that killed me. (Marriage Jokes)
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe teach me how Covid-19 is contracted? (Canoe Jokes)
- During 2020 & 2021 with Covid, what happened when the smog lifted over Los Angeles?… UCLA. (California Jokes)
- Cinco de Mayo is cancelled in 2020, so… hold de Mayo! (Cinco De Mayo Jokes)
- When I went to get my Covid vaccinations the young nurse told me they were very nervous as it was their first time… I told them to give it their best shot. (Nurse Jokes)
- You know what they say: feed a cold, starve a fever, drink a corona. (Beer Jokes)
- Army soldiers can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the Navy can fathom it. (Army Jokes & Covid Jokes)
- 2020 has a new calendar out January February Lockdown December.
- So many coronavirus jokes out there… it’s a pundemic.
- What types of jokes are allowed during quarantine?… Inside jokes!
- I would make a COVID-19 joke… but it would be tasteless.
- My mom always told me I wouldn’t accomplish anything by lying in bed all day. But look at me now, ma! I’m saving the world! (Mom Jokes)
- You know what they’re saying about 2020… It went viral faster than anyone thought it would.
- If coronavirus isn’t about beer… why do I keep seeing cases of it? (Beer Jokes)
- Whoever is in charge of rolling out the welcome mat for 2022, please, Please, PLEASE do a good job… the last two year’s the person failed. (New Year’s Eve Jokes)
- The World Health Organization announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear… WHO let the dogs out.
- Wow, it’s August 2020? This year flu by………………………. (August Jokes)
- January 8th Christmas was unlike any other during Covid. My gifts were delivered on January 8 instead of December 25. Santa was asked to quarantine for 14 days. (Covid Jokes)
- I ran out of toilet paper and had to start using old newspapers… Times are rough.
- If there’s a baby boom nine months from now, what will happen in 2033?… There will be a whole bunch of quaranteens. (Baby Jokes)
- Summer 2020: My dad said everything would be back to normal by June… So I told him yesterday “Julyed!” (Dad Jokes & June Jokes)
- Ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.
- Covid Lockdown: I’m not talking to myself… I’m having a parent-teacher conference.
- Why is coronavirus like Groundhog Day?… If you stick your head outside and encounter another person, you get 6 more weeks of quarantine. (Doctor Jokes & Ground Hog Day Jokes)
- Arizona may be a COVID 19 hot spot… …but at least it’s a dry cough. (Arizona Jokes)
- I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant “what kills the Corona Virus?” She replied to me “Ammonia Cleaner” I said “Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here.” (Chemistry Jokes)
- Finland just closed its borders. You know what that means… No one will be crossing the finish line. (World Geography Jokes)
- A man walks into a bar and orders a Corona and two hurricanes… The bartender says that’ll be $20.20. (Covid Jokes & Beer Jokes)
- So many coronavirus jokes out there… it’s a pundemic.
- Would you ever play on an anti-vax basketball team even though you are vaccinated?…. I sure would. They never take any shots. (World’s Best Basketball Jokes)
- Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees. Bad idea… Heinz-Sight 2020. (Ketchup Jokes)
- The anti-vax basketball team lost every game this season…. Apparently they never take any shots. (World’s Best Basketball Jokes)
- What’s the best part of teaching your children at home?… You can’t be fired for drinking on the job
- Being quarantined with a talkative child is like having an insane parrot glued to your shoulder.
- I was tired of quarantine so I decided to go out and start skateboarding… Now I’m totally sick, bro! (Skateboarding Jokes)
- Day 121 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”
More Covid Jokes
- What did the barista call her face mask?… A coughy filter. (Coffee Jokes)
- The grocery stores in France look like tornadoes hit them… All that’s left is de brie. (Cheese Jokes)
- Why is the basketball arena hot during the 2021 NCAA basketball tournament?… No fans. (March Madness Jokes)
- It’s only a matter of time before the Pi-variant of the Coronavirus is discovered now… We’ll have come full circle then. (Pie Jokes)
- Yesterday I ran out of soap and body wash and all I could find was dish detergent…Then it Dawned on me.
- Class of 2020: When my future children ask me about my high school graduation… And how I answer: “The graduation was great! But the reception was terrible.” (Graduation Jokes & High School Graduation Jokes)
- My local pizza place is struggling to stay afloat…They really knead the dough! (Pizza Jokes & Labor Day Jokes)
- Going to ask my mom if the offer to slap me into next year still stands. (Mom Jokes)
- 30 days hath September, April, June, and November, all the rest have 31, except for March which was infinite.
- Which baseball player is least likely to catch COVID-19?… A catcher, he always wears a mask! (Baseball Jokes)
- Nail salons, hair salons, waxing center and tanning places are closed… It’s about to get ugly out there.
- Why don’t chefs find coronavirus jokes funny?… They’re in bad taste.
- Two grandmothers were bragging about their precious darlings. One of them says to the other, “Mine are so good at social distancing, they won’t even call me.”
- This year will be the first Cinco de Mayo in a long time … When Americans try to avoid getting a case of Corona. (Covid Jokes & Beer Jokes)
- Summer 2020: I was 25 when 2020 started… It’s June and I’m 52. (June Jokes)
- I’ll tell you a coronavirus joke now, but you’ll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.
- Did you hear the joke about the germ?… Never mind, I don’t want to spread it around.
- What does eating raw garlic have to do with preventing COVID-19?… It helps keep everyone at a safe distance.
- What do you call panic-buying of sausage and cheese in Germany?… The wurst-kase scenario. (World Geography Jokes)
- Before Corona Virus I used to cough to cover a fart, now I fart to cover a cough.
- My husband purchased a world map and then gave me a dart and said, “Throw this and wherever it lands—that’s where I’m taking you when this pandemic ends.” Turns out, we’re spending two weeks behind the fridge.
- After years of wanting to thoroughly clean my house but lacking the time, this week I discovered that wasn’t the reason.
- Prince Charles is actually happy about getting COVID-19… Now he doesn’t have to worry if he will experience coronation. (Top 50 Coronation Jokes)
- With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitizing gel are rubbing their hands together.
- Why didn’t the sick guy get the joke?… It flu over his head.
- Thanks to COVID-19, this is the first year I’ve not been able to run a marathon owing to lockdown… Every other year it’s been because I’m overweight, can’t run, and am too lazy to even try. (Marathon Jokes)
- As the virus crisis rages on in Italy, many Italians are considering reverting back to monarchy… It should be quite easy, seeing as they already have a coronation.
- During the pandemic, it’s important to take after NASA… Give people space.
- Quarantine has really put a damper on comedy… For months nobody has walked into a bar.
- Why hasn’t anyone in Antarctica contracted COVID-19?… They’re so ice-o-lated.
- Prince Charles contracts Corona Virus… All part of the coronation process. (Top 50 Coronation Jokes)
- Since everybody has now started washing their hands… the peanuts at the bar have lost their taste. (Peanut Jokes)
- What did the sick parent make their kids for lunch?… Mac and sneeze.
- Did you hear about Six Flags new roller coaster?… They are calling it 2020. (Flag Day Jokes)
- If I keep stress-eating at this level, the buttons on my shirt will start socially distancing from each other.
- They said you had to wear a mask at the grocery store. They should have mentioned clothes, too
- What do all virus jokes have in common?… They’re catchy.
- What happens when a prince get coronavirus?… A coronation. (Top 50 Coronation Jokes)
- What did the astronauts say to NASA when they notified them that their mission was complete and they could return to earth?… Thanks, but no thanks.
- Knock-knock!… Who is there?… Seriously, don’t touch my door and step back 6 feet.
- What goes great with Corona?… Lyme disease. (Doctor Jokes)
- Where do sick boats go to get healthy?… The dock! (Doctor Jokes)
- What’s the difference between the Alpha and Delta variant?… I don’t know; it’s all Greek to me.
- Have scientists determined why cats can catch COVID?… It’s still a meow-stery. (Cat Jokes)
- Did you hear that vaccinations are controversial in some communities?… It’s a real sticking point.
- What’s the difference between working from home and working in an office?… COVID.
- .What do you call grabbing your packages from the front porch?… The day’s outdoor activities.
- What’s the worst part of homeschooling?… You can’t transfer students out of your class.
- Why do they call it the novel coronavirus?… It’s a long story….
- How did the health experts lie?… They said a mask and gloves was enough to go to the grocery store. When I got there, everyone else had clothes on.
- How do you know if a penguin has Covid?… It has to ice-olate. (Penguin Jokes)
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Covid?
- The taco chef hasn’t turned up to work for a week…. He has a bad queso the flu. (Labor Day Jokes)
- A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says “I’ll have a Corona please, hold the virus”
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Covid knock-knock joke?
- January 8th Christmas gifts will be delivered on January 8 this year instead of December 25 Santa has been asked to quarantine for 14 days. (January Jokes)
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Covid knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
- Why did the chicken cross the road?… Because the chicken behind it didn’t know how to socially distance properly.
- Class of 2020: When my future children ask me about my middle school graduation… And how I answer: “The graduation was great! But the reception was terrible.”
- This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog — we laughed a lot.
- I’ve gained so much weight during lockdown my bathroom scale is telling me that it can only weigh one person at a time.
- How do you socially distance while around family?… A high-fiber diet.
- I thought you had to wear a mask when entering businesses… They kept yelling at me to put on some pants.
- Nothing like relaxing on the couch after a long day of being tense on the couch.
- Since we’re all in quarantine I guess we’ll be making only inside jokes from now on.
- Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
- Class of 2020: When my future children ask me about my college graduation… And how I answer: “The graduation was great! But the reception was terrible.”
- What’s the difference between COVID and politics?… Politics doesn’t end after two weeks.
- What did the single guy say to the single woman during lockdown?… “If COVID doesn’t take you out, can I?”
- What do you call staging a beer in every room of the house?… A pub crawl.
- What do you call someone whose life didn’t change after quarantine?… An introvert.