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  1. I ordered a high school graduation cake for my son…. The baker asked me what I wanted it to say. Wow, talking cakes, who knew? (Cake Jokes)
  2. I was surprised when a friend said he’ll work at KFC right after high school graduation.. Out of curiosity, I asked him why. All he said was, “It’s on my bucket list.” (Fast Food Jokes)
  3. Why did the M&M want to graduate high school?… Because he wanted to be a Smarty. (Candy Jokes for Kids)
  4. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Gladys… Gladys, who?… Gladys high school graduation day! (Summer Jokes)
  5. Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you take the diploma, shake the principal’s hand. (Principal Jokes)
  6. Graduations are so immature… You can hardly get to the end without name calling.
  7. After Graduating from High School, A son moves away from home to study at University. One of his letters home reads: Dear Father, University i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an’t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on. After receiving his son’s letter, the father immediately replies by sending a letter back. Dear Son, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh. Love, Dad (Father’s Day Jokes for Kids)
  8. It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father. “Let’s try to make this look natural” she said. “Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder.” The father answered, “If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?” (Father’s Day Jokes for Kids)
  9. Why did the high school students study in the airplane?…. Because they wanted higher grades. (Pilot Jokes for Kids)
  10. What do you get when you complete a high school science class?… A graduated cylinder. (Chemistry Jokes for Kids)
  11. I think I proved something very important at high school graduation: that I could walk and chew gum at the same time. – Melanie White (Gum Jokes for Kids & Walking Jokes)
  12. I didn’t graduate with honors. I was honored just to graduate. – Melanie White
  13. High school graduation was the first time that the school actually gave me something I wanted to read. – Melanie White (Book Jokes)
  14. What did the swordfish say to the marlin on high school graduation day?… Looking sharp! (Fish Jokes)
  15. After twelve years of carrying books to school, you’re well prepared for a career in backpacking. (Hiking Jokes & Camping Jokes)
  16. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Gladys… Gladys, who?… Gladys high school graduation day! (Summer Jokes)
  17. A high school graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.
  18. One good thing about high school graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is. (Hat Jokes)
  19. My 10 year high school reunion was this weekend… I ran into these twin brothers I hadn’t seen since graduation, and I thought to myself.. “Well, you two still look the same.” (College Jokes / High School Jokes / Twin Jokes)
  20. I’d advise high school graduates to keep your graduation gown. It’s the only outfit you might not outgrow.
  21. My high school graduation was held inside the basketball arena and man was it hot. It must have been like 5,000 degrees in there. (Basketball Jokes)
  22. I got hit by a car on my way to my high school graduation… The worst part is, I had the right of passage.
  23. Why didn’t the sun go to college?… Because it already had a million degrees! (College Jokes & Sun Jokes)
  24. Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that high school students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated. (Psychology Jokes)
  25. My son just graduated from high school. My friends asked me what he majored in. I told them he was studying to be an astronaut: he took up space. (Astronomy Jokes)
  26. It’s tough out there, but if you take your education and apply yourselves, you will eventually succeed in finding…..an unpaid internship! (Career Blogs)
  27. Graduation: where you trade the agony of writing term papers for the agony of writing resumes. (Grammar Jokes)
  28. Did you hear about the statistics major who ended up homeless when they couldn’t find a job after graduation?… It was a real bad after-math. (Math Jokes for Kids)
  29. A waiter approaches a table celebrating their daughters graduation…Father: Our daughter just graduated from SCU with an English degree! Waiter: That’s so great! Congratulations! I actually have a Master’s degree in English Literature myself. Can I get you folks started with some chips and salsa?
  30. I used to get into fights at the drop of a hat. Which is probably why I got fired from my job as a graduation photographer. (Labor Day Jokes)
  31. A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.” “But I’m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom – I’ll show you how.”
  32. LinkedIn is the worst dating app… All people want to talk about is work and what I plan on doing after graduation.
  33. Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you take the diploma, shake the dean’s hand.
  34. The ice breaker I used for my graduation speech today… What do you call the speed of an herbal beverage at any given time?… Veloci-tea. (Tea Jokes)
  35. The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.
  36. What do you buy a friend graduating from Law School?… A law-botomy. (Lawyer Jokes)
  37. How many college graduates does it take to change a light bulb?… One, but it may take up to seven years!
  38. What did the clothes designer say to her son at his graduation?… “I’m Prada you son.”
  39. At my high school graduation I saw a bowl of fruit punch…So I told a bunch of my friends “I want to make a joke which requires some audience participation.”Then, I proceeded to instruct them to stand, single file, in front of the bowl. Once they had, I told them “Here’s the punch line.”
  40. You have committed the grave tactical blunder of acquiring enough university credits to graduate. So now you’re leaving college and embarking on the greatest adventure – and the biggest challenge – of your young lives: moving back in with your parents.
  41. After 72 years since not completing her college course, my Grandma finally went back and earned her very first diploma……I asked her what will she be wearing for her graduation ceremony and she said depends.
  42. Why didn’t the skeleton go to prom?… Cause he had ‘no body’ to dance with.
  43. When I graduated from high school, I was so poor and couldn’t afford college. So my parents sent me to dog training school. I learned a lot when I was there. Sit, stay, roll over. I haven’t quite got the fetching part down. They say I’m a little rough around the edges.
  44. I’ll be honest. I did not graduate at the top of my class. In fact, I was so close to the bottom, my sheepskin had a tail.
  45. When I finished high school I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18, and I could just have his motorcycle.
  46. I will never forget my daughter’s words to me at her graduation.”Wow dad.. After 18 years you decide to come back…”
  47. While watching graduation, I like to think all my students have the same potential.However, when shaking their hands afterwards, I really felt that wasn’t true. It was quite shocking!
  48. At my college graduation I saw a bowl of fruit punch…So I told a bunch of my friends “I want to make a joke which requires some audience participation.”Then, I proceeded to instruct them to stand, single file, in front of the bowl. Once they had, I told them “Here’s the punch line.”
  49. “Dude, I have no idea how to write my graduation composition. Do you have any hint?””Why don’t you try coping professor X’s piece he wrote when getting his D.A.?””I did. It turned out to be Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony.”
  50. Chuck Norris graduated high school in one hour.