Top 50 College Graduation Jokes

by | May 7, 2023 | Dads, Latest News, School Jokes

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Google Search “College Graduation Jokes”

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best college graduation jokes in the WORLD! (Graduation Knock Knock Jokes)
  2. “I didn’t graduate with honors. I was honored just to graduate.” – Melanie White (High School Jokes & High School Graduation Jokes)
  3. It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father. “Let’s try to make this look natural” she said. “Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder.” The father answered, “If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?” (Father’s Day Jokes for Kids & Dad Jokes)
  4. I used to get into fights at the drop of a hat… Which is probably why I got fired from my job as a graduation photographer. (Labor Day Jokes)
  5. After graduating from college and attending graduate school, A son moves away from home to earn an advacned degree. One of his letters home reads: Dear Father, University i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an’t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on. After receiving his son’s letter, the father immediately replies by sending a letter back. Dear Son, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh. Love, Dad (Dad Jokes)
  6. College is similar to high school… To a degree. (College Jokes & Graduation Jokes)
  7. My son just graduated from college. My friends asked me what he majored in. I told them he was studying to be an astronaut: he took up space. (Astronomy Jokes)
  8. After 72 years since not completing her college course, my Grandma finally went back and earned her very first diploma……I asked her what will she be wearing for her graduation ceremony and she said depends. (Grandparent Jokes)
  9. Spring Fever: Four college seniors afflicted with spring fever skipped a final exam needed to graduate . After lunch they reported to the professor that they had a flat tire. Much to their relief she smiled and said, “Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper.” Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said: “First Question: Which tire was flat?” (Spring Jokes)
  10. Why didn’t the pirate make it to the dean’s list when he graduated?… All of his scores were in the C’s. (Pirate Jokes)
  11. I ordered a college graduation cake for my son.The baker asked me what I wanted it to say. Wow, talking cakes, who knew? (Cake Jokes)
  12. What do you get when you earn a degree in science?… A graduated cylinder. (Chemistry Jokes for Kids & Chemistry Jokes for Teachers)
  13. Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you take the diploma, shake the dean’s hand. (Principal Jokes for Kids)
  14. I was surprised when a friend said he’ll work at KFC right after college graduation. Out of curiosity, I asked him why. All he said was, “It’s on my bucket list.” (Fast Food Jokes)
  15. What did my puppy receive after he graduated from college?… His pedigree. (College Graduation Jokes & Puppy Jokes)
  16. What state has the loudest college graduations?… ILL-I-NOISE! (Top U.S. State Jokes)
  17. Teacher: Where did your mom graduate from college? Student: Alaska. Teacher: Never mind, I’ll ask her myself. (Mother’s Day Jokes / College Graduation Jokes / Alaska Jokes)
  18. What happened when they found out about the kidnapping at the college graduation?… They woke him up. (Napping Jokes)
  19. What would you call a vessel filled with college graduates?… It would be a scholarship.
  20. College Graduation: Where you trade the agony of writing term papers for the agony of writing resumes.
  21. My 10 year college reunion was this weekend… I ran into these twin brothers I hadn’t seen since graduation, and I thought to myself.. “Well, you two still look the same.” (Sibling Jokes & Twin Jokes)
  22. What happened when the girl didn’t pass her final exam for her cosmetology degree?… She had to sign up for makeup classes.
  23. College graduations are so immature… You can’t get to the end without name calling.
  24. Name a bus you can never enter?… A college syllabus. (College Jokes & Graduation Jokes)
  25. Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated. (Psychology Jokes)
  26. A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.” “But I’m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom – I’ll show you how.”
  27. The corn will graduate from college tomorrow… We should attend the ceremony and corn-gratulate him! (College Jokes & Corn Jokes)
  28. I went to an ocean themed college graduation party… It was a whale of a time. (Whale Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  29. My college graduation was held inside the basketball arena and man was it hot…. It must have been like 5,000 degrees in there. (Basketball Jokes)
  30. At my college graduation I saw a bowl of fruit punch…So I told a bunch of my friends “I want to make a joke which requires some audience participation. “Then, I proceeded to instruct them to stand, single file, in front of the bowl. Once they had, I told them “Here’s the punch line.” (Watermelon Jokes)
  31. What do you call it if a math major can’t seem to hold down a job after their graduation?… It’s just a horrible after-math of the situation. (Math Jokes for Kids)
  32. Why did the college graduate bury all his money?…. to make his soil rich! (Farming Jokes)
  33. The best student at the corn college is called the a-corn. (College Jokes & Graduation Jokes)
  34. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good college graduation joke? (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & Graduation Knock Knock Jokes)
  35. A college graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.
  36. Graduation Party: Knock Knock. Who’s there?…Dishes….Dishes who?… Dishes the police, come out with your hands up!! (Police Jokes for Kids)
  37. It’s tough out there, but if you take your college degree and apply yourselves, you will eventually succeed in finding…..an unpaid internship!
  38. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Gladys… Gladys, who?… Gladys graduation day! (Graduation Knock Knock Jokes & Summer Jokes)
  39. Why didn’t the new college course on flying become popular?… Nobody saw it taking off. (Pilot Jokes & Plane Jokes)
  40. How many PhD candidates do you need to change a single light bulb?… You actually only need one, but it may take more than four years.
  41. Graduation was the first time that the school actually gave me something I wanted to read. – Melanie White (Book Jokes)
  42. My wife saw her ex college boyfriend, drunk in the street. She said he started drinking when she broke up with him after graduation decades ago. I said…. ….Impressive. .. I’ve never seen anyone celebrate that long before.
  43. What did the swordfish say to the marlin on college graduation day?… Looking sharp! (Fish Jokes)
  44. Why are college graduation ceremonies so warm?… There are thousands of degrees packed in there.
  45. Why did the college graduate put his money in the freezer? … He wanted cold hard cash!
  46. One good thing about college graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is. (Hat Jokes)
  47. “If you majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried. The only place you are now really qualified to get a job is in Ancient Greece.” Conan O’Brien
  48. Why didn’t the sun graduate college?… Because it already had a million degrees! (College Jokes & Sun Jokes)
  49. Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.
  50. What did the college graduate ask when he entered his graduation ceremony?… Is it one degree hotter in here? (College Graduation Jokes)