Top 50 February Jokes

by | Feb 2, 2022 | Uncategorized

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  1. February 1st, 1234 AD must’ve been the birth of the world’s best drummer… One / two / one two three four! (Music Jokes & 365 Music Jokes)
  2. February 2nd Ground Hog Day: What did the French groundhog see when he woke up?… His château. (World Geography Jokes)
  3. When is the best outfit for February 2nd?… A tu-tu (2/2).
  4. Does anybody know any good Groundhog Day jokes?… I feel like I keep hearing the same ones over and over again. (Ground Hog Day Jokes)
  5. What month is the Jake Paul’s favorite? …. Feb – BRO – ary!
  6. WWII: The USSR’s three greatest generals. What’re the names of the USSR’s three greatest generals?… December, January, and February! (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  7. This is the Alaska State Police. Where were you during the night of November 14th to February 12th? (Alaska Jokes & Police Jokes)
  8. What do you say when someone dies between February 19 and March 20?… Rest in Pisces. (Cemetery Jokes)
  9. February 9th National Pizza Day Jokes: What’s the difference between a pizza and our pizza jokes?… Our pizza jokes can’t be topped!
  10. Me and my childhood crush are marrying next year… Hers is in January and mine in July! (Wedding Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  11. My friend bought tickets for the Super Bowl LVI on February 13th 2022 in Inglewood, Calif. not realizing that it is also the day of his marriage. So if someone is interested… The church is in Rochester, the women’s name is Clarissa. (Wedding Jokes & Super Bowl Jokes)
  12. There’s a place where January comes after February and December comes before September… It’s the dictionary! (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & Grammar Jokes)
  13. February 13th Super Bowl Jokes: How is the Super Bowl football coach’s game plan on Groundhog day?… To use the running game of course. He wanted to “ground” it out. (Ground Hog Day Jokes)
  14. February 14th Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes: I just got a text from my girlfriend that said, “I bought you an awesome Valentine’s Day gift! xox” I really hope she spelled “Xbox” wrong. 
  15. 2020 was an interesting leap year… There was 29 days in February, 300 days in March and 5 years in April. (Leap Year Jokes)
  16. Can February March?… No, but April May! (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  17. Do you have a date for Valentine’s day?… Yes, February 14th.
  18. What is a frog’s favorite month?… February. It has a Leap Year. (Leap Year Jokes & Frog Jokes)
  19. My wife’s panties are labelled ‘Monday’, ‘Tuesday’, ‘Wednesday’ … My underwear is labelled ‘January’, February’, ‘March’… (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  20. I just got a date for Valentine’s Day!… Apparently it’s tomorrow, February 14. (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  21. February 21st: President’s Day Jokes: I love February because it contains two of my favorite annual events Groundhog Day, and the State of the Union Address. One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. The other involves a groundhog. (Ground Hog Day & Presidents’ Day Jokes)
  22. February 22nd: I can’t wait for Tuesday, February 22, 2022 (2/22/22)… We can call it… 2’s day. (Math Jokes for Teachers)
  23. What’s for breakfast on really cold days in February?… Frosted Snowflakes. (Cereal Jokes)
  24. If January threw a parade would February March?… No but April May! (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  25. What month is the best for coffee? …. Feb – BREW – ary (Coffee Jokes)
  26. What month is the best month to tell a lie? …. Fib -ruary.
  27. What month enjoys a beer the most?…. Feb – BREW – ary! (College Jokes & Beer Jokes)
  28. February 28th: February is ending today, but that’s okay. We’ll March on. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  29. February 29th: We should have February 29th every year?…Statistically it’s the day the fewest people die so why only have it 1/4 of the time? (Math Jokes for Teachers)
  30. Which is the month in which women talk the least?… February… because it has the least number of days. (Mom Jokes)
  31. What’s the difference between February 14th and July 4th?… There isn’t any, at least to me, because they’re both Independence Day. (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes & 4th of July Jokes)
  32. What is a ghost’s favorite month?… Feb – BOO – uary. (Halloween Jokes & Ghost Jokes)
  33. When’s a frog’s birthday?… February 29th. Leap Day! (Birthday Jokes)
  34. Don’t June know it’s February? (June Jokes)
  35. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best February jokes. (February Knock Knock Jokes)
  36. What do you call a shape born on February 9th?… an asquareius.
  37. Sometimes February feels like it will last forever… But time Marches on. (March Jokes)
  38. Court Hearing in Helsinki: The judge questions the culprit: “Where have you been in the night of the 4th November to 11th February?” (Police Jokes / World Geography Jokes / November Jokes)
  39. Top 10 Leap Year Jokes: What is a Kermit the Frog’s favorite month?… February. It has a Leap Year. (Leap Year Jokes & Frog Jokes)
  40. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about February? (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month& February Knock Knock Jokes)
  41. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper. St. Peter says, “Well, Forrest, it’s certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we’ve been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.” Forrest responds, “It shor is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain’t too hard; life was a big enough test as it was.” St. Peter goes on, “Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions: First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T? Second: How many seconds are there in a year? Third: What is God’s first name?” Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter who waves him up and says, “Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.” Forrest says, “Well, the first one — which two days in the week begin with the letter “T”? Shucks, that one’s easy. That’d be Today and Tomorrow.” The Saint’s eyes open wide and he exclaims, “Forrest, that’s not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn’t specify, so I’ll give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?” asks St. Peter. “How many seconds in a year?” “Now that one’s harder,” says Forrest, “but I thunk and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve.” Confounded, St. Peter says, “Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how in Heaven’s name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?” Forrest says “Shucks, there’s gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd.. .” “Hold it, ” interrupts St. Peter. “I see where you’re going with this, and I see your point, though that wasn’t quite what I had in mind…..but I’ll have to give you credit for that one, too. Let’s go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God’s first name?” “Sure” Forrest replied, “It’s Andy.” Andy?!” exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. “Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?” “Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,” Forrest replied. “I learnt it from the song. . . . “ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . . .” St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: “Run Forrest, run.” (Movie Jokes & Forrest Gump Jokes)
  42. What’s the difference between a $20 steak and a $55 steak?… February 14th. (Valentine’s Day Jokes & Cow Jokes)
  43. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good February knock-knock joke? (February Knock Knock Jokes)
  44. Don’t June know it’s February?… I can’t December. (December Jokes)
  45. When is the best day to wear a tu-tu?… February 2nd (2/2).
  46. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good February knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  47. A man walks up to the counter. “Two pairs of underwear please.” The man behind the counter looks at him in disbelief. “Only two pairs of underwear?” “Yup. I wear one while the other is in the wash.” The man behind the counter looks at him in disgust, then rings out his order. A second man walks in. “5 pairs of underwear please.” “Only 5 eh?” “Yeah, I wear one for every weekday, then go commando all the weekend.” The man behind the counter shakes his head. “Well, you’re better then the last guy!” A third man walks in. “7 pairs of underwear please.” “Finally, a man who knows hygiene!” “Yes, I do try. One for every day, and I do my laundry on Sunday.” At the end of the day, a fourth man walks into the underwear store. “12 pairs of underwear please.” “Wow! You must be really clean!” The man smiles. “Yup, that’s me! Err, hang on, let me see if I counted right. January, February, March, April…” (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  48. 2020 has a new calendar out January February Lockdown December. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & (Covid Jokes)
  49. My family is full of neat freaks. They have their entire wardrobe planned out for the week. They even labeled their underwear “Monday”, “Tuesday”, “Wednesday”, etc. I decided I wanna do this too to try to be a little neater so I started labeling my underwear, too Right now, I’m wearing February. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  50. For those without a date for Valentines Day… I have one for you! It’s February 14th. (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)