101 Navy Jokes

by | Oct 19, 2023 | careers, Dads, Latest News, School Jokes

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  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Navy jokes.
  2. A captain notices a light in the distance, on a collision course with his ship. He turns on his signal lamp and sends, “Change your course, 10 degrees west.” The light signals back, “Change yours, 10 degrees east.” The captain gets a little annoyed. He signals, “I’m a US Navy captain. You must change your course, sir.” The light signals back, “I’m a Seaman First Class. You must change your course, sir.” Now the captain is mad. He signals, “I’m an aircraft carrier. I’m not changing my course.” The light signals back a final message: “I’m a lighthouse. Your call.”
  3. Navy jet pilot: This is it! We’re flying faster than the speed of sound! Copilot: What? (Pilot Jokes & Plane Jokes)
  4. When I lost my rifle, the army charged me $255.99. That’s why in the navy, the captain goes down with the ship. (Army Jokes)
  5. Why do they actually prefer non-swimmers in the Navy?… They defend their ship with a lot more enthusiasm. (Swimming Jokes)
  6. What grades do you need to join the Navy?… 7 C’s. (Jokes for Teachers)
  7. A lot of people assume pirates prefer to be in the navy…. But actually they prefer the arrrrrrrrmy. (Army Jokes & Pirate Jokes)
  8. My grandfather is always saying that in the old days people could leave their back doors open… Which is probably why his submarine sank. (Grandparent Jokes)
  9. The Navy is beginning to recruit blind men… They are sending them out to sea.
  10. Why did the sailor join the gym?… To get shipshape!
  11. What’s a sailor’s favorite type of sandwich?… A sub-marine!
  12. What’s a sailor’s favorite board game?… Battleship.
  13. What grades are required by you for joining the Navy?… 7 C’s
  14. Why did the sailor go to school?… To improve his sea-minus to a sea-plus!
  15. What’s a sailor’s favorite type of movie?… A sea-quel!
  16. What did the Navy say to the coast guards?… “I’ll SEAL you later.” (Seal Jokes & Coast Guard Jokes)
  17. I’m going to join the navy purely out of spite… I’m longing to become a Petty Officer.
  18. What did the Barbie factory do when it ran out of belly buttons?… They called the the navel reserve. (Barbie Jokes)
  19. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the highest rank in the Navy? (Canoe Jokes)
  20. My grandfather was a baker in the Navy… He went in all buns glazing. (Grandparent Jokes)
  21. I became a chef after I left the navy… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran. (Labor Day Jokes & Veterans Day Jokes)
  22. Army soldiers can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the Navy can fathom it. (Army Jokes & Covid Jokes)
  23. What do you call a military tree who doesn’t return on time?… Absent without leaf. (Tree Jokes)
  24. Why was the Navy movie not permitted to be played in theaters?… Due to censor-ship. (Movie Jokes)
  25. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta join the Navy. (August Knock Knock Jokes)
  26. Did you know you can’t eat ice cream in the military?… Apparently you get arrested for desserting. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  27. Why did the soldier stuff himself with ice cream?… He was a desserter. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  28. An ice cream, a creme brulee, and a slice of cheesecake joined the army, but they abandoned their fellow soldiers on their first deployment They are wanted for dessertion. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  29. Why is there no Jedi navy?… Sailing is a path to the dockside. (Star Wars Jokes)
  30. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the Navy?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! (Veterans Day Jokes & Karate Jokes)
  31. If Harrison Ford’s son were in the Navy, what would be his favorite city?… Indy-Annapolis. (Movie Jokes & Indiana Jokes)
  32. I wanted to join the Navy… But that ship has sailed… I’ll sea myself out. (Labor Day Jokes)
  33. A cool job that sounds lame: Building boats for the navy… You’d be a subcontractor. (Labor Day Jokes)
  34. If Harrison Ford’s son were in the Navy, what would be his favorite city?… Indy-Annapolis. (Movie Jokes & Indiana Jokes)
  35. The US Navy will start to equip all their subs with emotional support dogs. After a lot study, they decided on Dachshunds… They will be subma-weiners. (Dog Jokes & Psychology Jokes)
  36. Dad: You wanna join the navy? You can’t even swim! Son: no one can fly in the Air Force either. (Dad Jokes)
  37. Did you hear about the Super Bowl player who asked his coach to flood the field so he could go in as a sub? (Veteran’s Day Jokes & Memorial Day Jokes)
  38. What color are military submarines?… Deep navy. (Crayon Jokes)
  39. I’m about to lose my job in the Navy unless I make some drastic changes… I have to take a course in anchor management. (Labor Day Jokes & Psychology Jokes)
  40. I’ve never understood the Navy’s color being Navy blue… I thought they were the aqua-marines.
  41. What so you call a snail on a Navy ship?… a Snailer.
  42. My Granddad fought in the war and survived mustard gas and pepper spray… He’s now classed as a seasoned veteran.
  43. My neighbor is obsessed with Navy destroyers… He warships them.
  44. What’s a rubber gasket on an aircraft carrier called?… A navy seal.
  45. Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the side of their boats?… So when they come back to port they can… Scandinavian.
  46. I wanted to join the Navy Seals… But that ship has sailed… I’ll sea myself out. (Labor Day Jokes)
  47. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about the Navy?
  48. What do you call a Marine who joins the Navy?… A Sub-Marine. (Marine Jokes)
  49. What happens when you eat too many Navy beans?… You might end up with a dishonorable discharge.
  50. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Navy knock-knock joke?
  51. Where does the Navy rank amongst the armed forces?… Submarines. (Marine Jokes)
  52. I tried out for the Marines but fell just short of their requirements. So they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine. (Marine Jokes)
  53. My Papa was a World War 2 Navy veteran and he use to boast about how he saved 300+ sailors from dying from an excruciating death… He shot the cook.
  54. In the French Navy, it’s considered unlucky to have the number 5 in a ship’s name… Because all of the ships with that number in their name… cinq.
  55. When I was in the Navy, I was on the deck of a destroyer one day, and I saw a the periscope of an enemy submarine surface nearby… SoI whipped off my hat and dropped it over the periscope.
  56. A small boy was staring at the names on the wall of an old church when the pastor noticed him. “What are you looking at?” asked the clergyman. “All those names. Who are they?” the boy asked. The pastor nodded, and said, “They are the reason we have Memorial Day. They are those who died in the service.” The little boy considered that, then asked quietly, “The 9 o’clock service or the 11 o’clock?” (Cemetery Jokes)
  57. Where do U.S. Olympic horses shop?… Old Neigh-vy! (Equestrian Jokes)
  58. Did you know Navy ships run on commercial batteries?… They run on 7 C’s.
  59. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me how to join the Navy?(Canoe Jokes) 
  60. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me how money I will make if I join the Navy?(Canoe Jokes) 
  61. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the different ranks of the Navy? (Canoe Jokes) 
  62. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe retire from the Navy? (Canoe Jokes) 
  63. Each branch has a military ball (Navy Ball, Army Ball, etc.) And it warms my heart to know that one branch will be having “Space Balls” from here on out. (Dance Jokes & Astronomy Jokes)
  64. Who’s the head of the penguin navy?… Admiral Byrd! (Bird Jokes & Navy Jokes)
  65. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Navy knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  66. Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings! (Memorial Day Knock Knock Jokes)
  67. The Russian Navy has announced that it’s commissioning glass-bottom warships… so they can keep an eye on the Russian Air Force.
  68. What is a cow’s favorite holiday?… Moomorial day. (Cow Jokes)
  69. Why was the Navy movie not permitted to be played in theaters?… Due to censor-ship.
  70. Why did the sailor join the navy?… Because he wanted to see the sea!
  71. Who won the zombie war?…Nobody, it was dead even. (Zombie Jokes)
  72. What did Galaga aliens and WW2 Navy officers have in common?… Both came in WAVES.
  73. For all Branches
  74. Navy / Air Force / Marine / Space Force / Coast Guard jet pilot: This is it! We’re flying faster than the speed of sound! Copilot: What? (Pilot Jokes & Plane Jokes)
  75. Army Navy / Air Force / Marine / Space Force / Coast Guard soldiers can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the navy can fathom it. (Army Jokes)
  76. What did the Navy say to the Navy / Air Force / Marine / Space Force / Coast Guard?… “I’ll SEAL you later.” (Seal Jokes & Coast Guard Jokes)
  77.  What do you call a group of musical sailors?… The anchor-estra!
  78. How do sailors communicate with one another?… They use their sea-phones!
  79. I became a chef after I left the Navy / Air Force / Marine / Space Force / Coast Guard.. Some would say I am a seasoned veteran. (Labor Day Jokes & Veterans Day Jokes)
  80. The navy / Coast Guard is beginning to recruit blind men… They are sending them out to sea.
  81. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the Navy / Air Force / Marine / Space Force / Coast Guard?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! (Veterans Day Jokes & Karate Jokes)
  82. What’s a sailor’s favorite type of music?… Nautical notes!
  83. A cool job that sounds lame: Building boats for the navy /Coast gaurd… You’d be a subcontractor. (Labor Day Jokes)
  84. Dad: You wanna join the navy? You can’t even swim! Son: no one can fly in the Air Force either. (Dad Jokes)
  85. What do sailors use to style their hair?… Sea spray!
  86.  Why did the sailor favorite movie?… “Sea” biscuit!
  87. What’s a sailor’s favorite type of pasta?… Seashell-eroni!
  88. What do you call a navy member who loves math?… An Admiralgebra enthusiast!
  89. I’m about to lose my job in the Navy Cost Guard unless I make some drastic changes… I have to take a course in anchor management. (Labor Day Jokes & Psychology Jokes)
  90. What happens when you eat too many Navy Navy / Air Force / Marine / Space Force / Coast Guard beans?… You might end up with a dishonorable discharge.
  91. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Navy knock-knock joke?
  92. Why did the sailor become a gardener?… He wanted to “sea” some growth!
  93. Did you know Navy Coast Guard ships run on commercial batteries?… They run on 7 C’s.
  94. Each branch has a military ball (Navy Ball, Army Ball, etc.) And it warms my heart to know that one branch will be having “Space Balls” from here on out. (Dance Jokes & Astronomy Jokes)
  95. Who’s the head of the penguin navy?… Admiral Byrd! (Bird Jokes & Navy Jokes)
  96. Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings! (Memorial Day Knock Knock Jokes)
  97. What do you call a forgetful veteran sailor?… A sea-nile old salt.
  98. What do you call a navy ship with a sense of humor?… A pun-dit class vessel!
  99. What is a cow’s favorite holiday?… Moomorial day. (Cow Jokes)
  100. Why do sailors make terrible DJs?… They always play the same sea shanties!
  101. Who won the zombie war?…Nobody, it was dead even. (Zombie Jokes)