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More October Jokes…

  1. October 1st: Full Moon Jokes: How does the man in the moon cut his hair?… Eclipse it. (Barber Jokes for Kids & Astronomy Jokes for Kids)
  2. October is finally here… Can somebody finally wake Billie joe Armstrong up? Sick of being reminded. (Music Jokes)
  3. A soldier comes up and asks me what today’s date is. I say “October fourth.” He says 10-4
  4. October 4th: National Taco Day: Taco JokesWhat do you call cheese that is not yours?… NA Cho cheese (180 School Jokes)
  5. October 5th:World Teachers Day: Why did the teacher jump into the water?… She wanted to test the water! (Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  6. October 6th: World Smile Day: Smile JokesWhen is the best time to go to the dentist?… At tooth-hurty (2:30). (180 School Jokes)
  7. Which month is a Rock Stars favorite?… Rock- tober (Music Jokes)
  8. October 8th: World Octopus Day: When are all octopuses born?… October! (Octopus Jokes)
  9. October 9th: Leif Erikson Day Jokes: Which football team does Christopher Columbus like the least?… The Vikings, because they always beat him. (Leif Erikson found America first) (Top 10 Sports Jokes & Columbus Day Jokes)
  10. October 10th: October 10th was such a great day!… 10/10
  11. October 10th: World Mental Health Day: Why did the donut start going to therapy?… It couldn’t get over the feeling that something was missing — it never felt hole! (Psychology Jokes / Donut Jokes for Kids)
  12. October 12th Columbus Day JokesWhere did Columbus first land in America?… On his feet! (Biology Jokes)
  13. October 12th: Farming Jokes: What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?… Straw-berries! (Fall Jokes) #NationalFarmersDay
  14. After the COVID-19 pandemic winds down, we should honor truck drivers with a national holiday on October 4th…. A big 10-4, if you will
  15. I was in Germany at octoberfest and they asked me how many beers I wanted… I said nine, but they didn’t bring me any. (World Geography Jokes)
  16. October 16th: National Boss Day Jokes: The CEO of a large company was walking to the cafeteria along with two of his secretaries. Upon tripping on a bottle, a genie appeared and asked the threesome if they would like to each make a wish. The first secretary excitedly exclaimed, “I wish I was on a beach in a tropical island!” Immediately her wish was granted. The next secretary proclaimed, “I wish I was on a tour of France!” Immediately her wish too, was granted. Being that it was now his turn to make a wish the CEO exclaimed “I want the two of them back in their offices right after lunch!” #NationalBossDay
  17. October 17th: National Pasta Day What do you call a fake noodle?… An impasta. (Spaghetti Jokes & Meatball Jokes)
  18. October 17th: National Chocolate Cupcake Day Do you know what cupcakes & a baseball team have in common?… They both count on the batter! (Baseball Jokes & Softball Jokes)
  19. October 23rd: 101 Mole Day JokesWhat did one mole say to the other?… We make great chemistry together.
  20. October 26th: National Pumpkin Day JokesWhat did a Jack-o-lantern say to the pumpkin?… Cut it out!
  21. October 31st: 101 Halloween JokesThe nurse walked into the busy doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, the invisible man is here.” The doctor replied, “Sorry, I can’t see him.” (Biology Jokes)Who is the #1 Super Villain for October?… Doc Ock from Spiderman! (Spiderman Jokes)
  22. What is a clinical trial done in October called?… a trick or treatment.
  23. My wife said I’m not sophisticated. I said, “that’s ridiculous, why, I’m reading a novel right now that’s full of subtext. She was impressed and asked, “what novel?” I said, “The Hunt for Red October.”
  24. What month does Spider-Man hate?…Ock-tober! (Spiderman Jokes)
  25. In the movie ‘The Hunt for Red October’ … the entire story is the sub-plot.
  26. I can’t believe people are letting fireworks off in October!… It’s scared the dog so badly he’s knocked the Christmas tree over.
  27. Apparently I was supposed to wait until October 31st to dress up like a ghost. Guess I spook too soon.
  28. October 31st: I guess October is… Octover.
  29. October is Eczema awareness month… So I’m raising money by selling scratch off lottery tickets.
  30. What was Humpty Dumpty’s favorite month? October… He had a great fall.
  31. What’s the difference between a Yankee stadium hotdog and a Fenway park hotdog?… You can buy a Yankee stadium hotdog in October.
  32. Not sure what you have heard, but it actually only rains twice a year in Seattle. October through May, then June through September.
  33. Friday, October 13th: Friday the 13th Jokes: What’s Jason Voorhees favorite dessert?… I-Scream! (Top Summer Jokes)#Fridaythe13th
  34. Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?… To make up for his miserable summer.(Top Summer Jokes)
  35. What did the tree say to autumn?… Leave me alone.
  36. How do you fix a broken pumpkin?… With a pumpkin patch.
  37. What reads and lives in an apple?… A bookworm.
  38. What is a tree’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber! (September Jokes)
  39. An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage. The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked: “Where were you on the night of October to April?”
  40. What did one leaf say to another?… I’m falling for you. (Top Valentines Day Jokes)
  41. Why do trees hate tests? — Because they get stumped by the questions. (180 School Jokes)
  42. How do trees get onto the internet?… Easy, they just LOG on. (Tree Jokes)
  43. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?… Squash.
  44. Funny Halloween Jokes Knock, Knock!… Who’s there?… Phillip!… Phillip who?… Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!
  45. What do birds say on Halloween?… “Trick or tweet!”
  46. Which Halloween monster is good at math?… Count Dracula!
  47. Why are ghosts terrible liars?… You can see right through them!
  48. Know why skeletons are so calm?… Because nothing gets under their skin.
  49. What do mummies listen to on Halloween?… Wrap music.
  50. Which type of pants do ghosts wear to trick or treat?… Boo jeans.
  51. How do vampires get around on Halloween?… On blood vessels.
  52. Why did the Vampire read The New York Times?… He heard it had great circulation.
  53. Why can’t hockey players dress up for Halloween?… They always take their face off.
  54. Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Boo! Boo who? Don’t cry … it’s just my Halloween costume!
  55. Where do fashionable ghosts shop?… Bootiques!
  56. What do witches put on to go trick or treating?… Mas-scare-a.
  57. Why didn’t Jason wear his hockey mask for Halloween?… Because you don’t wear white after Labor Day.
  58. What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost?… “You sure are boo-tiful!
  59. Who did Frankenstein go trick or treating with?… His ghoul friend.
  60. Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Olive!… Olive who?… Olive your Halloween costume!
  61. What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal?… A steak!
  62. What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A neck-tarine!
  63. What makes trick or treating with twin witches so challenging?… You never know which witch is which!
  64. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.
  65. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Bee! Bee who? Bee-ware, there’s a full moon this Halloween!
  66. After a gruesome murder in Greenland the suspect is taken in for questioning by the police. Inspector: Would you mind telling us where you were on the night from October 11th to March 5th?
  67. What’s a monster’s favorite play?… Romeo and Ghouliet!
  68. Why do skeletons have low self-esteem?… They have no body to love.
  69. Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Ben! Ben who? Ben waiting for Halloween all year!
  70. Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Witch! Witch who? Witch one of you will give me lots of Halloween candy?
  71. Where does Dracula keep his money?… In a blood bank.
  72. What do owls say when they go trick or treating?… “Happy Owl-ween!”
  73. What does Bigfoot say when he asks for candy?… “Trick-or-feet!”
  74. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?… Because they have no-body to go with.
  75. Where do ghosts buy their Halloween candy?… At the ghost-ery store!
  76. How do you make a skeleton laugh?… You tickle his funny bone!
  77. What tops off a mummy’s ice cream sundae?… Whipped scream.
  78. What do ghosts give out to trick or treaters?… Booberries!
  79. Why was the candy corn booed off the stage?… All of his jokes were too corny!
  80. What Halloween candy is never on time for the party?… Choco-LATE!
  81. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? Butter open quick, I have a funny Halloween joke to tell you!
  82. Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana Who? Ivana suck your blood!
  83. Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie?… He didn’t have the guts.
  84. Why don’t mummies take vacations?… They’re afraid to unwind.
  85. What is a vampire’s favorite holiday, besides Halloween?… Fangs-giving!
  86. What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?… “Bone Appetit!”
  87. What do witches put on their bagels?… Scream cheese.
  88. What do ghosts eat for dinner?… Spook-ghetti!
  89. What do skeletons order at restaurants?… Spare ribs.
  90. What’s a ghost’s favorite yogurt flavor?… Boo-berry!
  91. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Hans. Hans who? Hans off my candy!
  92. Why did the headless horseman go into business?… He wanted to get ahead in life.
  93. What does a panda ghost eat?… Bam-BOO!
  94. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Fangs. Fangs who? Fangs for letting me in!
  95. Why did the Cyclops give up teaching? He only had one pupil!
  96. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Dishes! Dishes who? Dishes a very Halloween bad joke!
  97. Why did the ghost go into the bar?… For the Boos.
  98. Columbus Day Jokes: Where did Columbus first land in America?… On his feet! (Top Biology Jokes)
  99. Columbus’ Father: I don’t care what you’ve discovered, Christopher. You could have written. (Top Father’s Day JokesTop Father’s Day Quotes)
  100. Let’s celebrate Columbus Day by walking into someone’s house and telling them we live there now!
  101. The teacher stood at the front of the room. “Does anybody know what this Monday is?” About half of the students raised their hands. The teacher pointed to one of them. “It’s Columbus Day!” he crowed. The teacher smiled. “It is. Does anybody know why we celebrate it?” This time, only one student raised her hand. “It’s the day the Indians discovered Columbus!” (180 School Jokes)
  102. How was Columbus’s ship like an avid shopper?… They’re both driven by sales!
  103. The teacher was telling the story of Christopher Columbus and how many thought that the world was flat. Then she had mentioned that the world was really round and… got interrupted… “Miss Smith, the world is square, not round,” said Johnny. “No, it’s round Johnny. Who told you it was square?” replied the teacher. “My older brother. He claims he’s been to all 4 corners of the earth.” (Top Geography Jokes)
  104. What happened when Columbus was shot at by an Indian?… He had an arrow miss. (Top Archery Jokes)
  105. Why did the hungry Columbus eat the last candle?… He wanted a light snack.
  106. Who was the first cat to discover America?… Christopher Columpuss!
  107. What would you get if you crossed Columbus Day with Halloween?… Ghoulumbus Day! (Top Halloween Jokes)