Top 50 Election Jokes

by | Oct 10, 2022 | careers, Education, Latest News

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  1. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the BEST election jokes in the world. (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids)
  2. What did Al Gore say when he went to the dentist?… “I have an Inconvenient Tooth.” (Dentist Jokes)
  3. A pasta chef was caught stuffing the ballot boxes at a big Broadway awards show… Apparently, he was trying to rig a Tony. (Pasta Jokes)
  4. Ice Cream Flavors honoring Richard Nixon… ‘ImPeachments & Cream’ and ‘Watermelon-Gate.’ (Election Jokes & Ice Cream Jokes)
  5. Why did the protons vote for Harry Potter to be president?… Because they didn’t want to elect Ron. (Election Jokes & Chemistry Jokes)
  6. Why did Ron lose the election?… People thought his elect-Ron campaign was too negative. (Election Jokes & Chemistry Jokes)
  7. I like my sunglasses like I like my politicians… Polarized and able to be bought surprisingly cheap.
  8. Politician: I really feel like having some pancakes… maybe I don’t…I just can’t stop waffling. (Pancake Jokes)
  9. How many presidential aides does it take to change a light bulb?… None. They’re supposed to keep the President in the dark.
  10. What do you call a bee that works for the government?… A pollentician.
  11. Why do Americans choose just 2 people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? (Presidents Jokes)
  12. Got a big decision to make in November… Pumpkin or pecan pie for Thanksgiving? (Pie Jokes / Thanksgiving Jokes / Election Jokes)
  13. November 1st 2020: Someone just asked me, “Who do you think will win the 2020 Presidential Election?” I said, “I don’t know, I don’t have 2020 vision.”
  14. What is the most popular college during election season?… The Electoral College. (College Jokes)
  15. What political party are most corn farmers and growers?… They are “corn” servative republic-corns. (Corn Jokes & Farming Jokes)
  16. A politician will find an excuse to get out of anything… except office.
  17. “George Washington is the only president who didn’t blame the previous administration for his troubles.” Author Unknown
  18. “Being president is like running a cemetery: You’ve got a lot of people under you, and nobody’s listening.” Bill Clinton (Cemetery Jokes)
  19. What is something that describes both political talk and filling up your plate at Thanksgiving?… Choosing sides. (Thanksgiving Jokes)
  20. What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?… Presidentures!
  21. Great American Political Book Never Written: “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks. (Presidents’ Day Jokes / Election Jokes / Book Jokes)
  22. “I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of a national emergency – even if I’m in a Cabinet meeting.” Ronald Reagan
  23. What’s the difference between Election Day and Thanksgiving?… On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day. On Election Day, you get a turkey for four years.
  24. It was so cold today… a Democrat had his hands in his own pockets! (Winter Jokes)
  25. Who are voting for this election?… I’m voting for tricity so vote for tricity… Electricity!
  26. What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous slugger?…. Babe Lincoln (Baseball Jokes)
  27. How did George Washington speak during his 1st presidential campaign?…. In general terms.
  28. Give me a one-handed economist! All my economists say, “On the one hand …on the other.” Harry Truman
  29. Which former president planted the most Christmas trees?… Wood-row Wilson! (Presidents’ Day Jokes & Christmas Tree Jokes)
  30. How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?… Two: one to change it and another one to change it back again.
  31. What is Joe Biden’s favorite full moon?… The Hunter Moon. (Full Moon Jokes)
  32. What is Donald Trump’s least favorite full moon?… The Hunter Moon. (Full Moon Jokes)
  33. Why did Bernie Sanders challenge his 49 vs 50% 2020 Democratic primary loss in Iowa?… I thought he didn’t care about the 1%? (Iowa Jokes)
  34. What’s the difference between skateboard tricks and my political views?… None – people call them “sick” and “radical.” (Skateboarding Jokes)
  35. What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?… Hair Force One! (Barber Jokes)
  36. What would you call it if Sponge Bob ran for governor?… A goobernatorial election.
  37. “If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” Abraham Lincoln (Civil War Jokes)
  38. Why did they call Lincoln “Honest Abe”?… Because that’s what it said on all his campaign buttons.
  39. An octopus politician offered to pay my debts if I voted for him…. I guess it’s squid pro quo. (Octopus Jokes)
  40. If you golf on election day, make sure to cast an absent-tee-ballot! (Golf Jokes)
  41. I can’t believe they’re considering an all mail election… …females worked so hard to get voting rights! (Mailman Jokes)
  42. “Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.” Author Unknown
  43. What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?… George Washingtoon!
  44. Where do polar bears vote?… The North Poll! (World Geography Jokes / Bear Jokes / Christmas Jokes)
  45. A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: “Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?” The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn’t know what “food” meant. In Eastern Europe they didn’t know what “honest” meant. In Western Europe they didn’t know what “shortage” meant. In China they didn’t know what “opinion” meant. In the Middle East they didn’t know what “solution” meant. In South America they didn’t know what “please” meant. And in the USA they didn’t know what “the rest of the world” meant. (World Geography Jokes)
  46. “Don’t buy a single vote more than necessary. I’ll be damned if I’m going to pay for a landslide.” Joseph P. Kennedy
  47. Maine Political Campaign Slogan: “Let’s Keep the Maine Thing… The Main Thing.” (Maine Jokes)
  48. There was an election amongst the elements of the periodic table and Iron voted for Zinc… … because Zinc was able to galvanize Iron. (Mole Day Jokes)
  49. “I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.” Adlai Stevenson
  50. Why did Ronald lose the election?… People thought his elect Ron campaign was too negative. (Chemistry Jokes & Mole Day Jokes)
  51. “Daddy,” a little girl asked her father, “do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a time’? ” “No, sweetheart,” he answered. “Some begin with ‘If I am elected.’”