Top 50 Sunglasses Jokes

by | Jun 25, 2022 | Dads, Latest News, School Jokes

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  1. Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my sunglasses fixed?… Everybody.
  2. I took my sunglasses off… I had seen enough.
  3. Just so everybody’s clear… I’m going to put my sunglasses on.
  4. People say I look better without sunglasses… But I just can’t see it.
  5. I went to the optometrist office today and bumped into an old friend!… I also bumped into the optometrist, the receptionist and I knocked over their sunglasses display.
  6. A duck walks into an optician’s shop He says, “I’d like those sunglasses please”. The clerk asks, “How would you like to pay for them?” The duck replies, “Just put them on my bill.” (Duck Jokes)
  7. I bought a pair of polarized sunglasses …Some people like ’em, some people hate ’em.
  8. To the person who stole my sunglasses… I will find you, I have contacts. (Police Jokes)
  9. Why do the FBI always wear sunglasses?… To protect their FB-eyes.
  10. Why can’t pirates wear sunglasses?… Because they have no buccaneers! (Pirate Jokes)
  11. Son: “Hey Dad, have you seen my sunglasses?” Dad: “No son, have you seen my dad glasses?” (Dad Jokes)
  12. What do you call a skinny man in sunglasses?… Slim Shady. (Music Jokes)
  13. When a man walked in wearing sunglasses and holding a white and red walking stick, demanding all our money… He was robbing us blind! (Police Jokes)
  14. To save money I made myself a pair of sunglasses out of 2 old ketchup bottles… In Heinz-sight I should have just bought a proper pair. (Ketchup Jokes)
  15. What did the zoo keeper say when he saw the elephant wearing sunglasses?… Nothing, he didn’t recognize him. (Zoo Jokes & Elephant Jokes)
  16. I decided to watch the eclipse with only sunglasses, in spite of all the warnings… I honestly can’t see what all the fuss was about. (Solar Eclipse Jokes)
  17. I bought my wife some mirrored sunglasses… I look great in them! (Marriage Jokes)
  18. Why don’t they let you wear sunglasses in football?… Because it’s a contact sport. (Football Jokes)
  19. What kind of sunglasses does Ned Flanders wear?… Oakley Dokelys. (Simpson Jokes)
  20. I just discovered my sunglasses have smudges on them?… I’ve been giving people dirty looks all day.
  21. I like my sunglasses like I like my politicians… Polarized and able to be bought surprisingly cheap. (Election Jokes)
  22. What does the sun drink out of?… Sunglasses.(Sun Jokes)
  23. Sunglasses manufacturers and Hitmen have something in common… They are both into shady business. (Labor Day Jokes)
  24. The only thing I have planned for today is to get my new sunglasses… Then I’ll see what happens.
  25. What did the arrogant sunglasses say to the nose?… “I’m above you.” (Biology Jokes for Teachers)
  26. My new sunglasses are making me paranoid… Everyone suddenly seems shady! (Psychology Jokes)
  27. What do you call a potato with sunglasses?… A spec-tater. (Potato Jokes)
  28. Why was the middle school teacher wearing sunglasses to school?… She had bright students! (Sun Jokes & (Middle School Jokes)
  29. So a guy decided to sell fake sunglasses in a club. The owner (his name was ray) eventually found out about this, so ray banned him.
  30. How come Voldemort hates the sun?… Because his sunglasses won’t stay up. (Harry Potter Jokes)
  31. Wearing sunglasses makes you look… shady.
  32. Why do you never see a phone wearing sunglasses?… Because they have contacts.
  33. The sunglasses I ordered were much darker than advertised… I blame a lack of transparency. (Black Friday Jokes)
  34. Did you hear about the guy who wore sunglasses at night and fell into a hole in the ground?… He couldn’t see that well.
  35. Why should you always wear sunglasses when doing math…?… It helps with division. (Math Jokes for Teachers)
  36. My son asked me to hand him his sunglasses. I said ‘You never told me you had a son named glasses!’ (Dad Jokes)
  37. I sweat less when I wear sunglasses … Because I feel cooler.
  38. Did you hear about the sunglasses thief?… He was pretty shady. (Police Jokes)
  39. I saw a guy put on two pairs of sunglasses… He looked pretty shady.
  40. My earliest childhood memory is visiting the eye doctor and getting my sunglasses… Life before that was a blur.
  41. Why was the basketball coach wearing sunglasses to school?… He had bright players! (365 Basketball Jokes)
  42. Why was the boy wearing sunglasses on the prom?… He had a bright date! (Summer Jokes & Sunglasses Jokes)
  43. Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses?… She had bright students! (Jokes for Teachers)
  44. I always wear sunglasses while I’m teaching… because my students are too bright. (Jokes for Teachers)
  45. Why was the elementary teacher wearing sunglasses?… She had bright students! (Elementary School Jokes)
  46. Why can’t sunglasses have political opinions?… Because they’re so polarizing. (Election Jokes)
  47. Why do the summer camp instructors wear sunglasses?…. Because the campers are so bright! (Top Summer Jobs for Teachers & Summer Camp Jokes)
  48. This past week I made a couple of bucks selling fake eclipse sunglasses… I’m not too worried though, those suckers will never see me again. (Solar Eclipse Jokes)
  49. I bought a new pair of polarizing sunglasses and was asking my friends what they thought of them… They seemed to either love them or hate them.
  50. I saw a guy wearing sunglasses on a cloudy day… Wasn’t that bright.