More St. Patrick’s Day Jokes…

Happy St. Patrick’s Day. We hope we can bring you a few smiles with the following jokes.

More St. Patrick’s Day Jokes…

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best St. Patrick’s Day! (St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
  2. An Irish dad calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing.” “Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams. “We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.” The son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced!” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this!” She calls Ireland immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Sorted! They’re coming for Christmas – and they’re paying their own way” (Marriage Jokes / Christmas Jokes / Divorce Jokes)
  3. An American citizen is vacationing on his own in Ireland. He decides to play a round and is paired with three locals. He takes a few practice swings, steps up to the first tee, and proceeds to hook the ball out of bounds. He shakes his head, reaches in his pocket, and re-tees another ball. He tells his playing partners that he is taking a mulligan. He pounds one down the center of the fairway. With a big smile, he asks the others, “In the States, we call that a mulligan. What do you call it here in Ireland?” After a moment of silence, one of the locals replies, “Hitting three.” (Golf Jokes)
  4. What do you call a fake stone in Ireland? …. A sham rock. (Geology Jokes)
  5. Son: Dad, I met an Irish girl on St. Patrick’s Day. Dad: Oh, really? Son: No, O’Reilly! (Dad Jokes)
  6. What do you get when you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy?… A rash of good luck on St. Patrick’s Day. (Doctor Jokes)
  7. What do you call a leprechaun prank?… A saint pat-trick. (Leprechaun Jokes)
  8. What does a leprechaun say when you tell him Bono is his favorite singer?… You too? (Music Jokes & 365 Music Jokes)
  9. Who is St. Patrick’s favorite superhero?… The Green Lantern. (Super Hero Jokes)
  10. What did the leprechaun say on March 17?… “Irish you a Happy St. Patrick’s Day!” (Leprechaun Jokes)
  11. How can you spot a jealous shamrock?… It will be green with envy.
  12. How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time? …. He’s Dublin over with laughter! (World Geography Jokes)
  13. What do you call leprechauns who collect aluminum cans, used newspapers and plastic bottles?… “Wee-cyclers!” (Leprechaun Jokes)
  14. Why is a River Liffey rich? …. Because it has two banks.
  15. What’s the perfect St. Patty’s Day breakfast?… Green eggs and ham. (Dr. Seuss Jokes & Egg Jokes)
  16. On what musical instrument did the showoff musician play his St. Patrick’s Day tunes?… On his brag-pipes. (Music Jokes & 365 Music Jokes)
  17. What does an Irishman get after eating Italian lasagna?… Gaelic breath! (Pasta Jokes)
  18. What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick’s Day? …. St. O’Claus! (Christmas Jokes & Christmas Trivia)
  19. Mulligan: Invented by an Irishman who wanted to hit one more 20-yard grounder. (Golf Jokes)
  20. What’s the difference between wisdom and luck?… One is clever. The other is clover.
  21. What’s the best position for leprechauns to play on a baseball team?… Shortstop. (Leprechaun Jokes & Baseball Jokes)
  22. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Erin… Erin who?… Erin as fast as I could, but I couldn’t catch the leprechaun. (Track and Field Jokes)
  23. What do you call a leprechaun with a sore throat?… A streprechaun. (Leprechaun Jokes & Doctor Jokes)
  24. What do you get when two leprechauns have a conversation?… A lot of small talk.
  25. What’s long and green and only shows up once a year?… The St. Patrick’s Day parade.
  26. Are people jealous of the Irish principals?… Sure, they’re green with envy! (Principal Jokes)
  27. What do leprechauns barbecue on St. Patrick’s Day?… Short ribs. (Leprechaun Jokes)
  28. What is a leprechaun’s favorite type of music?… Sham-rock ‘n’ roll. (Music Jokes & 365 Music Jokes)
  29. What do you call Dwayne Johnson’s stunt double?… The Sham-Rock! (Geology Jokes)
  30. “I married an Irishman on St. Patrick’s Day.” ….”Oh, really?” …. “No, O’Reilly!” (Marriage Jokes)
  31. How did the Irish Jig get started?… Too much water to drink and not enough restrooms.
  32. Knock Knock …. Who’s there? ….Irish!… Irish Who? …. Irish you were a better principal. (Principal Jokes)
  33. Why don’t you iron 4-Leaf clovers?… Because you don’t want to press your luck.
  34. Why can’t Irish golfers ever end a game?… They refuse to leave the green. (Golf Jokes)
  35. Did you hear about the O’Reilly twins and their dad in the St. Patrick’s Day 3 on 3 basketball tournaments? They stunned opponents…. No one had an answer for the pick and pop. (World’s Best Basketball Jokes)
  36. Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with? …. Because they’re very short-tempered! (Leprechaun Jokes)
  37. What should you say to someone running a St. Patty’s Day road race?… Irish you luck. (Marathon Jokes)
  38. Did you hear about the Father and Son team that won the 2 on 2 basketball tournament? …. No one had an answer for the pick and pop. (World’s Best Basketball Jokes)
  39. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Ireland… Ireland you money if you promise to pay me back. (St. Patrick’s Day Knock Knock Jokes)
  40. Which dog breed should you invite to your St. Patrick’s Day party?… An Irish Setter. (Dog Jokes)
  41. Where do leprechauns buy their groceries?… Rainbow Foods! (Leprechaun Jokes)
  42. Potato: Knock, knock… Carrot: Who’s there?… Potato: Irish stew… Carrot: Irish stew, who? Potato: Irish stew in the name of the law. (St. Patrick’s Day Knock Knock Jokes & Police Jokes)
  43. Did you hear about Mr. O’Reilly and his daughter that won the 2 on 2 basketball tournament? …. No one had an answer for the pick and pop. (World’s Best Basketball Jokes)
  44. Why are so many leprechauns gardeners?… Because they have green thumbs. (Flower Jokes)
  45. What do ghosts drink on St. Patrick’s Day?… BOOs. (Beer Jokes & Ghost Jokes)
  46. What’s the name of a popular Irish dance move?… The shamrock shake. (365 Music Jokes)
  47. What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green? …. A Jolly Green Giant. (Leprechaun Jokes)
  48. What scares Irish kids when they go to summer camp?… Paddy long legs. (Spider Jokes & St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
  49. Knock. Knock… Who’s there?… Warren… Warren who?… Warren any green today? It’s St. Patrick’s Day! (St. Patrick’s Day Knock Knock Jokes)
  50. What do you call an Irishman bouncing off the walls?… Rick O’Shay.