Top 50 New Jersey Jokes

by | Jul 5, 2022 | Education, Latest News, School Jokes

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  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best New Jersey jokes.
  2. Why should you never buy golf equipment made in New Jersey?… Because New Jersey drivers are terrible. (Golf Jokes & Car Jokes)
  3. I have the heart of a lion… And a lifetime ban from the Bergen County Zoo. (Zoo Jokes)
  4. What hurricane is a typical beach house guest?… Sandy. (Hurricane Jokes)
  5. What did Delaware?… A New Jersey.
  6. In what state does the Hudson River flow?… Liquid. (10 Longest Rivers in New Jersey)
  7. Over the summer, New Jersey is expected to break the hottest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as 111°F… NOT cool.
  8. Where do cows go on vacation?… Moo Jersey.
  9. Where do cows go to summer camp?… Moo Jersey.
  10. If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?… Idaho… Alaska!
  11. Why are New Jersey Devils hockey players so fit?… It’s from all the exorcising. (Halloween Jokes & Hockey Jokes)
  12. How do the zebras at the Bergen County Zoo play baseball?… Three stripes and you’re out! (Baseball Jokes)
  13. Over the winter, New Jersey is expected to break the coldest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as -35°F… NOT cool.. FREEZING
  14. If Mississippi lent Missouri her New Jersey, what did Delaware?… I don’t know; Alaska
  15. What do you call a dishonest cat at the Bergen County Zoo?… Lion. (Oregon Jokes & Zoo Jokes)
  16. Can you name the capitals in “New Jersey”?… N and J.
  17. In a progressive move, Mattel is making a new boyfriend for Barbie who’s a homeless man from New Jersey… Hobo Ken.
  18. Why won’t any of New Jersey’s bicycles stand up by themselves?… They are two tired. (Bike Jokes)
  19. What is the tallest building in New Jersey?… The New Jersey Public Library of course, it has the most stories! (Library Jokes)
  20. Did you hear the joke about Kittatinny Mountain?… You won’t get over it. (Hiking Jokes & New Jersey Mountains)
  21. New Jersey has TWO capitals. Can you name them?… “N” and “J”
  22. New York has the most lawyers in the USA. New Jersey has the most toxic waste dumps in the USA. Why is this so? New Jersey had first pick.
  23. Where do New Jersey fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Hudson River. (Ten Longest Rivers in New Jersey)
  24. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Raritan River!
  25. What’s the difference between a Greyhound terminal in New Jersey and a voluptuous lobster?… One’s a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean
  26. Where does the NCAA buy March Madness basketball uniforms?… New Jersey. (March Madness Jokes)
  27. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about New Jersey?
  28. Where is the best place to shop for a hockey shirt?… New Jersey. (Geography Jokes for Kids & Top 50 State Jokes)
  29. If a plane crashed on the borders of New Jersey and New York, Pennsylvania, and Delaware., where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived!
  30. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Hackensack River!
  31. Why does California have the most lawyers, and New Jersey, the most toxic waste dumps?… New Jersey got first pick!
  32. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The New Jersey State Turnpike!
  33. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good New Jersey knock-knock joke?
  34. What did Lake Hopatcong say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved. (15 Best New Jersey Lakes)
  35. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good New Jersey knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  36. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: New Jersey. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in ! (Teacher Jokes)
  37. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” New Jersey Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
  38. Where do New Jersey elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Elementary School Jokes)
  39. Why is New Jersey called the Garden State?… Because Oil, Petrolium, Nuclear, Land Fill, & Toxic Waste State Didn’t fit on a license plate!
  40. Where does a lacrosse player go when she needs a new uniform?… New Jersey.
  41. Why do Seton Hall students have such beautiful noses?… They’re hand picked.
  42. Where do New Jersey middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
  43. Where do New Jersey high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (High School Jokes)
  44. Why did the New Jersey teacher jump into the pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  45. The only people who say “Joizy” are from New York.
  46. What happens if BP can actually contain and clean up the Gulf Oil Spill?… The government will then ask them to clean up the “Jersey Shore”!
  47. Did you hear about this year’s newest fad diet coming out of New York and New Jersey?… The swim-fast diet.
  48. Why is “The Wave” banned in High Point Solutions Stadium?… Two Scarlet Knights fans drowned last year.
  49. Did you hear about the power outage at the Rider University library?… Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
  50. Whats the difference between Newark, New Jersey and yogurt?… Yogurt has an active living culture.