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- Why do Americans choose just 2 people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? (Election Jokes)
- If George Washington were alive today, why couldn’t he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac?… Because a dollar doesn’t go as far as it used to. (Maryland Jokes)
- Presidents’ Day is a sad reminder my wallet is filled with pictures of only the first one.
- Which rock group has four men who don’t sing?… Mount Rushmore. (365 Music Jokes)
- “My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now when people wave at me, they use all their fingers.” President Jimmy Carter
- Great American Political Book Never Written: “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks. (Presidents’ Day Jokes / Election Jokes / Book Jokes)
- What kind of tea did the George Washington thirst for?… Libertea! (American Revolution Jokes & Tea Jokes)
- How did George Washington describe things?… In general terms. (Army Jokes)
- What would George Washington be if he were alive today?… Really, really, really old.
- What flavor gum does the President prefer?…. Governmint. (Gum Jokes)
- Knock, knock!… Who’s there?… George Washington… George Washington who?… George Washington who?!! Didn’t you learn anything in history class?!! (Social Studies Jokes)
- Who was the funniest person in George Washington’s army?… Laughayette. (Army Jokes)
- Andrew Johnson was the first US leader to ever be impeached… You could say it was unpresidented. (Impeachment Jokes)
- Teacher: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?” Student: “Because he still had the axe in his hand.” (Tree Jokes)
- Who was the youngest US president?… BABE Lincoln. (Baby Jokes)
- What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?… Presidentures. (Dentist Jokes)
- What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cow food?… The fodder of our country… (Cow Jokes)
- What do you call a Nebraskan who hates Democratic Presidents?… A CORNservative. (Nebraska Jokes)
- Which former president planted the most Christmas trees?… Wood-row Wilson! (Christmas Tree Jokes & Election Jokes)
- How did you become a hero? “It was involuntary. They sank my boat.” John F. Kennedy
- “An atheist is a guy who watches a Notre Dame-SMU football game and doesn’t care who wins.” Dwight Eisenhower
- Why aren’t there many Civil War jokes?… People General Lee don’t find them funny…
- Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War?… After a while, he took it for Grant-ed! (Civil War Jokes)