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  1. Why do Americans choose just 2 people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? (Election Jokes)
  2. If George Washington were alive today, why couldn’t he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac?… Because a dollar doesn’t go as far as it used to. (Maryland Jokes)
  3. Presidents’ Day is a sad reminder my wallet is filled with pictures of only the first one.
  4. Which rock group has four men who don’t sing?… Mount Rushmore. (365 Music Jokes)
  5. “My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now when people wave at me, they use all their fingers.” President Jimmy Carter
  6. Great American Political Book Never Written: “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks. (Presidents’ Day Jokes Election Jokes / Book Jokes)
  7. What kind of tea did the George Washington thirst for?… Libertea! (American Revolution Jokes & Tea Jokes)
  8. How did George Washington describe things?… In general terms. (Army Jokes)
  9. What would George Washington be if he were alive today?… Really, really, really old.
  10. What flavor gum does the President prefer?…. Governmint. (Gum Jokes)
  11. Knock, knock!… Who’s there?… George Washington… George Washington who?… George Washington who?!! Didn’t you learn anything in history class?!! (Social Studies Jokes)
  12. Who was the funniest person in George Washington’s army?… Laughayette. (Army Jokes)
  13. Andrew Johnson was the first US leader to ever be impeached… You could say it was unpresidented. (Impeachment Jokes)
  14. Teacher: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?” Student: “Because he still had the axe in his hand.” (Tree Jokes)
  15. Who was the youngest US president?… BABE Lincoln. (Baby Jokes)
  16. What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?… Presidentures. (Dentist Jokes)
  17. What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cow food?… The fodder of our country… (Cow Jokes)
  18. What do you call a Nebraskan who hates Democratic Presidents?… A CORNservative. (Nebraska Jokes)
  19. Which former president planted the most Christmas trees?… Wood-row Wilson! (Christmas Tree Jokes Election Jokes)
  20. How did you become a hero? “It was involuntary. They sank my boat.” John F. Kennedy
  21. “An atheist is a guy who watches a Notre Dame-SMU football game and doesn’t care who wins.” Dwight Eisenhower
  22. Why aren’t there many Civil War jokes?… People General Lee don’t find them funny…
  23. Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War?… After a while, he took it for Grant-ed! (Civil War Jokes)