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Top U.S. History Jokes & Constitution Jokes

  1. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best jokes about the Constitution.
  2. What did Thomas Jefferson do before signing the Declaration of Independence?… He did a pre-ramble. (4th of July Jokes)
  3. Say what you want about the 1st amendment…
  4. I was in the middle of a lake in a canoe with my girlfriend last week when suddenly the boat sprung a leak. We had to decide whether to try and get the boat back to shore or abandon ship. We had a real row v. wade debate that day. (Canoe Jokes)
  5. Did you hear they passed a law banning ice cream?… Don’t worry, it was ruled un-cone-stitutional! (Ice Cream Jokes & Lawyer Jokes)
  6. How was George Washington able to be so healthy?… He had a strong constitution. (George Washington Jokes)
  7. I got caught with a copy of the Constitution… I swear I read it for the articles. (Constitution Jokes
  8. I’m not sure I can tell you word-for-word what the 2nd Amendment is… But I’ll take a shot at it!
  9. I went to the NRA and told them the 2nd amendment is worthless… They were triggered.
  10. How is a healthy person like the United States?… They both have good constitutions! (Doctor Jokes)
  11. “The Constitution says I have the right to bear arms,” I told the officer and he said, “Where’s the rest of the bear?” (Bear Jokes Police Jokes)
  12. Why did Yogi like the second amendment?… Because he loved his bear arms. (Bear Jokes)
  13. Second Amendment If you are against the second amendment… you could get fired. (Labor Day Jokes)
  14. What’s a bird’s favorite amendment?… Freedom of SCREECH! (Bird Jokes)
  15. I can’t believe the girls at school can’t wear tank tops, it totally violates the second amendment… Don’t they have a right to bare arms? (Jokes for Teachers & High School Jokes)
  16. I’ve been told I have a Supreme Court figure… No appeal. (Lawyer Jokes)
  17. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about the Constitution? (Social Studies Jokes)
  18. What did the Constitution say to the interrogator?… “I was framed!”
  19. My wife and I hung a copy of the US Constitution in our house… We call it the decoration of independence.
  20. There’s an amendment in America for people to wear T-shirts… I call it “The Right To Bare Arms.”
  21. What’s the first amendment in Super Mario’s constitution?… Freedom of Peach. (Georgia Jokes)
  22. The gyms must remain open… The Constitution guarantees freedom of the press.
  23. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Constitution knock-knock joke? (June Jokes)
  24. Between the First Amendment’s freedom of assembly and the Eighth Amendment’s no cruel and unusual punishment, the US Constitution is basically saying… “some assembly required, battery not included.”
  25. Why couldn’t Hillary Clinton keep up her US presidential campaign?… She was let down by a weak Constitution. (Election Jokes)
  26. Similarities and differences between the Canadian and Chinese constitution… Both have freedom of speech but only one has freedom after speech. (World Geography Jokes)
  27. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Constitution knock knock jokes? (June Jokes Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  28. Why did the hunter cut off the grizzly bear’s arms?… Because according to the 2nd amendment…..the hunter has the right to bear arms. (Hunting Jokes & Bear Jokes)
  29. My wife’s dad just beat me in a race to read the entire constitution… I got quite far, but he’s farther in law.
  30. I’m glad I have my 2nd Amendment right to bear arms… Otherwise, I’d have been amputated at birth. (Baby Jokes)
  31. Americans love frozen fruit so much, they wrote it into the constitution… The 1st amendment is the right to freeze peach.
  32. Maybe if we all emailed the Constitution to each other… …the NSA will finally read it.   
  33. My son asked why i climbed above the constitution… I said that I wanted to be above the law  
  34. What dance was very popular in 1776?… Indepen-dance! (American Revolution Jokes Music Jokes)
  35. What would you get if you crossed the American national bird with Snoopy?… A bald beagle! (Bird Jokes)
  36. What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?… George Washingtoon!
  37. I received a letter the other day saying my tax return was ‘outstanding’. Although it’s lovely to receive such high praise from HMRC, to be honest I can’t even remember sending one in.
  38. If George Washington, Ben Franklin, James Madison and Alexander Hamilton play D&D, do they roll for constitution?
  39. My wife caught me looking at a copy of the Constitution yesterday. I said, “Honey, I’m only reading it for the Articles.”
  40. I can amputate grizzly limbs if I want to… The constitution gives me the right to bear arms.
  41. A sign says: move over for stationary emergency vehicles. Dad says: what constitutes a stationary emergency? I’m out of letterhead and all my pencils are broken.
  42. Someone should tell trump and his fellow Republicans that the constitution isn’t a bible… You can’t pick and choose which parts you want to obey.
  43. What are the first three words of the Constitution of the Vatican?… We the papal…
  44. Is it a coincidence that the 18th amendment of the US Constitution outlawed alcohol while the 21st made it legal again?
  45. With all the political debate raging in the U.S. right now, I thought it would be constructive to briefly review the first article in the Constitution It’s “the.”
  46. The United States would be a very weak country in Dungeons & Dragons… They only have 1 Constitution.
  47. Donald Trump tweeted the he wants to resign today. But it was a typo. He tweeted moments later he wants to re-sign the U.S Constitution with only his name on it.
  48. Gee I sure hope the rioters in DC don’t do anything to the IRS building… at 1111 Constitution Ave. NW, Washington, DC 20224.
  49. The Second Amendment of the Constitution affords me the right to wear short sleeve shirts to work… The right to bare arms.