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- Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings! (Memorial Day Knock Knock Jokes)
- British people say that we as Americans go overboard with the 4th of July…. When really the only thing that went overboard was their tea. (Tea Jokes)
- How did George Washington speak to during his 1st presidential Inauguration?…. In general terms. (Veterans Day Jokes & Inauguration Jokes)
- My great-grandfather fought with Napoleon, my grandfather fought with the French and my father fought with the Americans…. Your relatives couldn’t get along with anyone, could they? (Grandparent Jokes & Army Jokes)
- What do you call a really high ranking snack?… A popcorn colonel. (Veterans Day Jokes / Army Jokes / Popcorn Jokes)
- What is a cow’s favorite holiday?… Moomorial day. (Cow Jokes)
- Did you hear about the popcorn that joined the army?… They made him a kernel. (Veterans Day Jokes / Army Jokes / Popcorn Jokes)
- How is a bag of popcorn like an army?… It has lots of kernels. (Veterans Day Jokes & Popcorn Jokes)
- There was a bad accident at the Air Force base… A jeep ran over a bag of popcorn and killed two kernels. (Veterans Day Jokes / Popcorn Jokes / Air Force Jokes)
- A small boy was staring at the names on the wall of an old church when the pastor noticed him. “What are you looking at?” asked the clergyman. “All those names. Who are they?” the boy asked. The pastor nodded, and said, “They are the reason we have Memorial Day. They are those who died in the service.” The little boy considered that, then asked quietly, “The 9 o’clock service or the 11 o’clock?” (Cemetery Jokes)
- What did the commander say to his troops?… March 4th! (March Jokes & Veterans’ Day Jokes)
- An octopus went off to war… It’s a good thing that he was well-armed. (Octopus Jokes & Veterans Day Jokes)
- A recruiter asks an octopus if he wants to join the Army… The octopus says no thanks I’m army enough as it is. (Octopus Jokes & Veterans Day Jokes)
- What are the two main rules in the Army?… 1. The commanding officer is always right. 2. If the commanding officer is not right, see #1.
- Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?… He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup! (Coffee Jokes)
- Soldiers in Heaven Little Jake asked his mother during the Memorial Day Parade: “Mamma, don’t soldiers ever go to heaven?” “Of course they do!” protested his mother. “What makes you ask?” “There are so many soldiers with beards but I never saw any pictures of angels with beards.” he replied The mother responded “Oh, that’s because most vets who go to Heaven get there by a close shave.” (Barber Jokes)
- If you want to avoid traffic this Memorial Day then avoid traveling on Memorial Way Weekend. (Car Jokes)
- Who wins most of the medals for bravery in Burger Land?… The meatball heroes! (Meatball Jokes & Hamburger Jokes)
- Memorial Day 2020: Not a single person at those Memorial Day swim parties in Missouri was social distancing. They were packed in there, shoulder-to-shoulder, splashing around, making a… …second wave pool.
- Where did the General put his armies?… In his sleevies. (get it his sleeves)? (Biology Jokes)
- Did you hear about the tree who deserted the forest at the end of fall… He was absent without leaves! (Fall Jokes & Veterans’ Day Jokes)