101 Croissant Jokes

by | Jan 28, 2024 | College, Dads, Latest News, School Jokes

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  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best croissant jokes.
  2. Why are croissant jokes always funny?…… Because they never get mold!
  3. I went to the zoo and saw a croissant in a cage… It was bread in captivity. (Bread Jokes & Zoo Jokes)
  4. It’s always so easy to get a rise out of my mother’s French sister… She’s a croissant. (World Geography Jokes)
  5. Why did the Croissants take the Donuts and Bagels to Disneyland?… They thought it would be fun for the hole family. (Donut Jokes & Disney Jokes)
  6. What do you get when you drop the croissant your aunt made?… A cross aunt.
  7. What did the croissant say to the coffee in the morning?… You’re just not my cup of tea. (Tea Jokes)
  8. My favorite phase of the moon is croissant moon! (Full Moon Jokes)
  9. What did the bag of flour say to the croissant?…… “I saw you yeasterday!”
  10. Why don’t croissants like warm weather?…… Things get Toasty! (Summer Jokes / Toast Jokes / Spring Jokes)
  11. What is the opposite of a croissant?… A happy uncle.
  12. How do you introduce a loaf of bread to your angry aunt?… Meatloaf croissant. (Bread Jokes)
  13. You can never trust a croissant to get things done… They’re super flakey.
  14. Why did the almond croissants sell out?… Everyone went nuts for them.
  15. What did the chef say when the croissant went missing?… It’s scone now.
  16. What did the croissant say to its chef?… Butter me up.
  17. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name a famous croissant song? (Canoe Jokes)
  18. What did the croissant say to the other pastries as it’s being sold off?… I will never desert you.
  19. How did the chef wish the croissant happy birthday?… Hope you have a berry happy birthday.
  20. Why was the almond croissant one of the top selections in the store?… It was a batch made in heaven.
  21. Why did the croissant think the doughnut is depressed?… It has a hole inside.
  22. Why was the croissant depressed?… He suffered a mental bake-down.
  23. Why did the croissant go to the doctor?… He was feeling crummy.
  24. What did a croissant say after brushing his teeth?… I’m bready for bed.
  25. What do you call a depressed pair of croissants?… Pain au pain.
  26. Why do croissants throw great parties?… Because they always they rise to the occasion.
  27. What did the croissant say to the slice of bread before the race?… You’re toast.
  28. What did the croissant say when breaking up with his girlfriend?… You deserve butter.
  29. A croissant is like the sun… it rises in the yeast.
  30. What’s a croissant’s favorite song lyric?… Another one bites the crust.
  31. The French couple decided to exchange croissants as anniversary gifts… They were a dough-rable.
  32. What did the croissant say while in the hospital?… Au pain.
  33. What does making too many croissant puns lead to?… Self-loaving.
  34. How does croissants remember things?… It uses Toast-It notes.
  35. What did the croissant say to the pretzel?… You’re such a weird-dough.
  36. Why did the croissant and bread fall in love?… Love is all you knead.
  37. Who is married to my mean uncle?… My croissant.
  38. Why was the croissant never cold?… He had many layers.
  39. Two croissants are in an oven and one says, “Wow, it’s hot in here!” and the other croissant says, “Oh my gosh, a talking croissant!”
  40. What do the croissant say to the chicken?…… LETS GET BREADDDDYYY TO CRUMMBBLLEEEEE!
  41. I just put my hair in a bun. It wasn’t very good… I think I’ll try it with a croissant next time.
  42. What is the most delicious number in French? Cent? Deux cent? Trois cent?… C’est croissant!
  43. 1st worker: “I am still tired from all the CrossFit this morning.” Co-worker: “it’s pronounced ‘Croissant’ and you ate 4 of them.”
  44. What do you call it when two croissants made at the same time fall in love?… A batch made in heaven.
  45. Two croissants walking across Union Street. one gets hit by a bus. The other one says, Oh Crumbs!
  46. What happens if you mix a croissant and a sourdough… A cross-bread.
  47. When I was a kid, my parents would always say “Excuse my french” after a swear word… I’ll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any French. (Jokes for Teachers)
  48. A danish, a cornbread piece, and a croissant plays Dungeons and Dragons… I guess you can say they are roll playing. (Dragon Jokes)
  49. Why did the two croissants run away from the bakery?… They wanted to grow mold together.
  50. What did the croissant say to the other croissant?… Everything I dough, I dough it for you.
  51. What do you call an angry pastry?… A croissant!
  52. Why didn’t the cupcake talk to the croissant?… Because he had muffin to say.
  53. I never make doctors appointments with a croissant… They’ll always flake out on you! (Doctor Jokes)
  54. Why do bakers give women on special occasions?…… Flours! (Valentine’s Day Jokes & Flower Jokes)
  55. Why didn’t the cupcake talk to the croissant?… Because he had muffin to say.
  56. What’s Austrian and took over France?… Croissants!
  57. Why did the croissants hang out on a street corner?… They were just loafing around.
  58. A worker hits a convenience store on the way home, and buys some juice, a sausage croissant, and a scratcher. Once outside he scratches the card, and wins $400 dollars. The guy collects his winnings and heads home. When he arrives, he asks his wife “What would you do if I won the lottery?” She replies “I’d take half the money and leave you.” “Great! I just won $200 tonight, here’s $100 — enjoy your half.”
  59. What do you call French macaroni?… Sbaguete and croissant.
  60. What do you call your father’s angry French sister?… Your croissant.
  61. What life advice did the croissant provide?… Life can be a little flakey.
  62. What did the croissant say to the bread as a goodbye?… Have a loafly day.
  63. What did mama croissant say to her children?… It’s way past your bread time.
  64. What did the croissant say to his girlfriend?… I loaf you.
  65. What did the croissant say to her boyfriend?… I loaf you.
  66. What did the croissant give to his girlfriend?… Flours.
  67. What happens if a croissant forgets its umbrella?… It’ll get soaking wheat all over.
  68. What did the tiered cake say to a tray of croissants that fell?… Get batter soon.
  69. Some things in life are more or less similar to baking croissants so what can we do?… Just roll with them.
  70. A croissant and a baguette are having a race. What’s the best way to start the race?… Ready, bready, go.
  71. What did the customer say when they look at the croissant?… What a breadtaking sight
  72. What did the croissant say to the fighting bakers?… Don’t fold a grudge.
  73. What did the croissant tell the chef who is upselling to another customer?… Don’t sugarcoat it.
  74. When baking, how do you tell when the croissant is done?… It flakes.
  75. What did the croissant say when they play hide and seek? …Whenever you’re bready.
  76. Why can’t croissant dough hold a steady job?… Because it’s always getting baked.