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Top Joke Pages:
May 23rd: Tips on How to Shellebrate® World Turtle Day® on May 23 (2023)
- Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best turtle jokes.
- What does a turtle do on World Turtle Day?… It shellebrates!
- How do you become the #1 page for turtle jokes?… Very slowly.
- A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.” (Police Jokes)
- I’m not an animal rights activist or anything… but I think it is pretty messed up that there are sweaters from turtle necks.
- A turtle walked into a restaurant but the owner grabbed it and threw it out… It came back 5 months later and yelled: get your hands off me!
- My uncle died from a turtle stampede… It was a slow death. (Cemetery Jokes)
- To do list 1. Buy a turtle 2. Name it ‘The speed of light’ 3. Be able to honestly say I can run faster than the speed of light. (Track and Field Jokes)
- What is a turtle’s favorite basketball drill for defense?… The shell drill. (365 Basketball Jokes)
- What was the snapping turtle doing at the Indianapolis 500?… About 1 mile per hour. (Indianapolis 500 Jokes)
- How do you make a turtle fast?… Don’t feed it. (Track and Field Jokes)
- What do you call a turtle who loves photography?… A snapping turtle. (Photography Jokes)
- I was a turtle in my past life… It’s slowly coming back to me. (Cemetery Jokes)
- What is a turtle’s favorite song?… Gimme Shell ter by the Rolling Stones! (365 Music Jokes)
- I’m looking for a book about turtles… I think it is a hard back. (Book Jokes)
- I used to have a teacher called Mrs. Turtle… Strange looking woman but she tortoise well. (May Jokes for Teachers)
- What do you get if cross a Turtle with a Giraffe?… A Turtle-Neck (Giraffe Jokes for Kids & Fall Jokes)
- What college sports team do turtles cheer for?… Maryland Terrapins.
- What was the snapping turtle doing on the highway?… About 1 mile per hour. (Car Jokes)
- My pet turtle died. I’m not upset… just shell-shocked. (Cemetery Jokes)
- What do turtles use to communicate?… A shellphone!
- What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?… a turtle disaster. (Train Jokes)
- If a turtle loses it’s shell… is it naked or homeless?