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- Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best pumpkin jokes.
- A pumpkin says to a jack-o’-lantern “All we ever do is sit around on the stoop. Don’t you want to mix it up, try something different?” The jack-o’-lantern says “I don’t have the guts.”
- What did one Pumpkin say to the other?… Happy Hollowing!
- Orange you pumped for Halloween?
- Where do jack o’ lanterns live?… In the seedy part of town!
- When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin?… When you drop it; then it’s squash!
- I saw a beautiful pumpkin today…It was gourdeous.
- What do you call a pretty pumpkin?… Gourdgeous.
- What do you call an athletic pumpkin?… A jock o’ lantern.
- In a farmers market, Farmer A sells pumpkins, Farmer B sells strawberries, what does Farmer C sell?… Medicine. (Doctor Jokes & Farming Jokes)
- What name did the pumpkins call the school bully?… Jerk-o-lantern.
- Got a big decision to make in November… Pumpkin or pecan pie for Thanksgiving?
- Who is the leader of all pumpkins?… The Pumpking.
- What do you call a pumpkin who spits his seeds everywhere?… A jerk o’ lantern!
- How does a pumpkin listen to Halloween music?… On vine-yl.
- What do you get when you divide the circumference of your jack-o-lantern by its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi. (Pi Day Jokes)
- Which English pop singer is most popular during Thanksgiving holiday?… Pumpkin Spice.
- How did the winter squash pay for things?… It used pumpkin bread.
- What does a carved pumpkin celebrate?… Hollow-een.
- What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport?… Squash! (101 Sports Jokes / Squash Jokes)
- What did the jack-o’-lantern say to the other jack-o’-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?…”Let’s get glowing.”
- How do gourds get to so strong?… By pumpkin iron.
- What do you call a gourd’s family members?… Pump-kin.
- Where do pumpkins hold meetings?… The gourdroom.
- Why are jack-o-lanterns so smart?… A candle makes them bright.
- I’m tall when I’m young, I’m short when I’m old, and every Halloween I stand up inside Jack O Lanterns. What am I?… A candle.
- Always a seasonal delight, today we will look at how to make a pumpkin roll : Step 1. Get a pumpkin. Step 2. Take your pumpkin to the top of a hill. Step 3. Give it a little push. Step 4. Enjoy
- Where would you rate Smashing Pumpkins in your top 90’s bands?… For me, I’d rate them Less than Jake but Better than Ezra.
- How do you cure someone with a pumpkin spice addiction?… Apply the pumpkin patch.
- A guy walks into the doctor’s office. A banana stuck in one of his ears, a carrot in the other ear, and a baby pumpkin stuck in one nostril. The man says, “Doc, this is terrible. What’s wrong with me?” The doctor says, “Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly.”
- Why did the pumpkin turn red?… Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school?… The Crossing Gourd.
- Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to go on the roller ghoster?… It didn’t have the guts
- After a minor mathematical error on a routine report, a worker’s boss tried to belittle him in front of his peers. Angrily she asked, “If you had 4 pumpkins and I asked for one, how many would you have left?” Quickly he replied, “If it was you who asked, I’d still have 4 pumpkins.”
- What did the pumpkin say to the pie baker?… Use apples instead.
- What do you give to a pumpkin who is trying to quit smoking?… A pumpkin patch! (Fall Jokes)
- What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin?… You look a little sick.
- How are pumpkins like cats?… They’re often waiting on the porch for you when you get home.
- I recently decided to stop smashing pumpkins cold turkey. It was difficult at first, but it got easier once I decided to use the pumpkin patch.
- Why were the two pumpkins so close?… They had deep roots.
- Why were the two pumpkins so close?… They had deep roots.
- Why was the jack-o’-lantern so forgetful?… Because he’s empty-headed.
- Why do pumpkins do so bad in school?… Because they had all their brains scooped out.
- Why do Jack-o-lanterns have wicked smiles?… Because they just had their brains scooped out! (Top Biology Jokes)
- What does a pirate jack o’ lantern wear?… A pumpkin patch!
- We got our seasonal bulk in at work today and got Pumpkin Spice Motor Oil. It’s for Autumnmobiles
- Who did the gardener say when his squash went missing?… There’s pumpkin strange happening around here…
- What do pumpkins eat at the movies?… Pulp Corn.
- What does a pumpkin priest give a homily?… From the pulp-it.
- Why did the witch paint her toenails orange?… So she could hide in the pumpkin patch.
- What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?… A pumpkin patch. (Halloween Jokes & Fall Jokes)
- Why did the jack-o-lanterns claim to be spiritual?… Because he had an inner light?
- Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the road?… It had no guts! (Top Biology Jokes)
- What did a Jack-o-lantern say to the pumpkin?… Cut it out! (Halloween Jokes & Fall Jokes)
- What music band is the least popular around Halloween?… The Smashing Pumpkins. (Music Jokes)
- Why did the pumpkin take a detour?… To avoid a seedy part of town.
- A 500 pound pumpkin fell on a local man today… Reports say he was squashed.
- Who helped the mini pumpkin cross the road?… The crossing gourd.
- What did the pumpkin say after thanksgiving?… Good-pie everyone.
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about pumpkins?
- What kind of animal loves pumpkins?… Orange-atans.
- What do surfers say on Halloween?… Gourd vibes only, bro.
- What does a pumpkin pie say after a big meal?… That was filling.
- What did the squash say to the cucumber when he saw the pumpkin patch get blown up?… Oh My Gourd!
- Pumpkins are the most beautiful crop… They’re absolutely gourd-geous.
- Why was Cinderella such a bad lacrosse player?… Her coach was a pumpkin. (Cinderella Jokes / Disney Jokes / Pumpkin Jokes)
- Why did the pumpkin cross the road?… It fell off the wagon!
- My dad said I could carve pumpkins on the kitchen table. So I did as he said. When he came back to check up on me, he yelled, “You ruined the table! And you spelled pumpkins wrong!”
- What instrument does a pumpkin play?… An a-gourd-ian.
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good pumpkin knock-knock joke?
- Why was the gourd so gossip-y?… To give ’em pumpkin’ to talk about.
- Did you hear about the sailor who turned into a pumpkin pie?… He’s a squashbuckling pirate.
- What’s the pumpkin’s favorite Western?… The Gourd, The Bad, and The Ugly!
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good pumpkin knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
- What did the queasy pumpkin say?… I don’t feel so gourd.
- When is an orange not an orange?… When it’s a pumpkin.
- What did the pumpkin do when he ripped his pants?… He sewed on a pumpkin patch.
- When asked how he was feeling, what did the pumpkin say?… I’m vine, thanks for asking.
- What’s the problem eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year?… You’ll get autumn’y ache.
- What do you call a chubby jack o’ lantern?… A plumpkin!
- What did the pumpkins do at happy hour?… Let’s get smashed.
- What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre?… Pulp fiction. (Movie Jokes)
- I created a robot that serves me pumpkin spice lattes… Naturally, I coded in BASIC.
- What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?… Squash. (Fall Jokes)
- Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches?… They have no hands to knock on the door.
- Why do we carve pumpkins for Halloween?… Because they’re less bloody.
- Why was the jack-o’-lantern afraid?… It had no guts.
- What did the pumpkin say to its carver?… Cut it out!
- Why was Cinderella bad at football?… Because she had a pumpkin for a coach. (Football Jokes)
- What did George Strait say to the pumpkin?… I’m Here for a Gourd Time.
- Why was Cinderella not very good at softball?… Because her coach was a pumpkin.
- What’s orange and faster than a speeding train?… Super Pumpkin.
- Did you know that Starbucks can make your teeth whiter?… Enough pumpkin spiced latte will make anything whiter.
- What kind of gourd grows on trees?… Plumkins.
- What’s orange and goes choo-choo?… A Pumpkin in Train-ing.
- What do you call death by a massive pumpkin falling on your head?… gourd to death.
- What do you call an overweight pumpkin?…A plumpkin!
- What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?… Squash.
- Throw your rotting pumpkins at pretty people… It is a sure way of calling them Gourdeous.
- What do you use to mend a jack-o-lantern?… A pumpkin patch.
- What did the pumpkin say to the jar?… Soon I will be ajar to.
- How do you fix a broken pumpkin?… With a pumpkin patch. (Fall Jokes)
- How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?… With a pumpkin patch.
- Why do I add baking soda to my pumpkin spice lattes?… To make them even more basic.
- What do you call a chubby relative?… A plumpkin!
- What do you call a pumpkin on steroids?… A jock o’ lantern!
- Why didn’t the jack o’ lantern cross the road? He didn’t have the guts!
- Tried to spike my pumpkin spice latte with LSD and it exploded… That’s what happens when you mix acid and basic.