2021 Masters Golf Jokes

by | Apr 7, 2021 | Latest News, School Jokes

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(Golf Jokes)

  1. Why did the golfer have an extra pair of pants at the Masters?… In case he got a hole-in-one. (Golf Jokes)
  2. What do you call a monkey who wins the Masters?… The chimpion! (Golf Jokes)
  3. Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course before the Masters?… He was perfecting his swing. (Tarzan Jokes & Disney Jokes)
  4. What is a golfer at the Masters favorite lunch?… A ham sand-wedge. (Sandwich Jokes)
  5. Why does the golfer at the Masters carry two shirts?… In case he gets a hole in one.
  6. Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly and the golfers lie well. (Math Jokes for Kids & Pi Day Jokes)
  7. Why are college coaches & players so excited to make it to the last hole in golf?… They love the final fore. (Golf Jokes)
  8. What does Luke Skywalker say whilst playing golf… May the course be with you! (Star Wars Jokes & May the 4th Be With You Jokes)
  9. Why did they kick Tarzan out of the golf game?… He screamed with every swing. (Tarzan Jokes & Disney Jokes)
  10. “After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham and rye.” – Professional golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez
  11. What did one golf ball say to another golf ball at the Masters?… See you a round.
  12. Are you a scratch player?… I sure am – every time I hit the ball I scratch my head and wonder where it went. (Psychology Jokes)
  13. Why do Boston College Basketball fans only play 14 holes of golf?… Because they can’t make it to the Final Four. (Final Four Jokes)
  14. Why do WWI veterans dislike golf?… They always end up in the bunker. (Veterans Day Jokes)
  15. Why would computers do good golfing at the Masters?… Because they have hard drives.
  16. Fan: What did you get on your last hole? Struggling Masters Golfer: Depressed.
  17. Golfer’s Wife in disbelief: Were you really under the whole day? Husband: “Yes…under a tree…under a bush…and under the water”
  18. Where do golfers go to dance?… The golf ball.
  19. Brand new golf balls are attracted to water, and the power of the attraction is in direct proportion to how much the balls cost.
  20. What is the difference between a golfer and a fisherman?… When a golfer lies, he doesn’t have to bring anything home to prove it.
  21. The higher a golfer’s handicap, the more likely he is to try to tell you what you’re doing wrong.
  22. Golf balls are like eggs. They’re white, they are sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more. (Egg Jokes)
  23. What’s the easiest shot in golf?… Your fourth putt.
  24. I’m ready to go for this par-5 green in two, but there’s still a group on the green. What should I do?… Well, you have two options: you can go ahead and shank it right now, or wait for the green to clear and then top the ball half way there.
  25. Golf: a game where you yell fore, you get six, and you write five. (Math Jokes for Kids & Pi Day Jokes)
  26. The golfer called one of the caddies and said, “I want a caddie who can count and keep the score. What’s 3 and 4 and 5 add up to?” “11 sir,” said the caddie. “Good, you’ll do perfectly.” (Math Jokes for Kids & Pi Day Jokes)
  27. How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb?… FORE! (Math Jokes for Kids & Pi Day Jokes)
  28. What’s the problem with my golf game?… You’re standing too close to the ball … after you’ve hit it.
  29. Why do golf courses get hot after tournaments?… Because all of the fans have left.
  30. What is the easiest way to hook a ball?… Try to slice it.
  31. Simple advice: If you drink, don’t drive. And don’t even putt.
  32. What is the easiest way to slice a ball?… Try to hook it.
  33. My golf game is so bad I had to have my ball retriever regripped.
  34. When is the course too wet to play golf?… When your golf cart capsizes.
  35. Golfer: “I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.” Caddie: “Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth.”
  36. A good golf partner is one who’s always a little bit worse than you are.
  37. If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, it means he probably shot an eight. (Math Jokes for Kids & Pi Day Jokes)
  38. Why couldn’t Cinderella play golf?… Because she always runs away from the ball.
  39. You spend too much time thinking about golf! Do you even remember the day we got married?… Of course I do! It was the same day I sank that 45-foot putt.
  40. Golf is what you play when you’re too out of shape to play softball. (Softball Jokes)
  41. How do you like my game?… Oh, it’s a great game, but personally I prefer golf.
  42. The only problem with golf is that the slow groups are always in front of you and the fast groups are always behind you.
  43. I once played a golf course that was so difficult I lost two balls in the ball washer!
  44. The game of golf is 90-percent mental and 10-percent mental. (Math Jokes for Kids & Psychology Jokes)
  45. Why is the game called “golf”?… Because all the other 4-letter words were already taken.
  46. When it comes to putters, try before you buy: Never buy a putter until you’ve had a chance to throw it.
  47. A golfer who says he never cheats is also a liar.
  48. You made a 12 on a par-3? How in the world did you manage that?… I chipped in from the fringe. (Math Jokes for Kids & Psychology Jokes)
  49. You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10-percent of the time, but hit a 2-inch branch 90-percent of the time. (Math Jokes for Kids & Psychology Jokes)
  50. Two longtime golf buddies were standing on a tee box overlooking a river, getting ready to hit their tee shots.  One golfer pointed down the river, turned to the other golfer and said, “Look at those idiots fishing in the rain!” (Fishing Jokes)
  51. If you think it’s hard to meet new people, pick up the wrong ball on a golf course.
  52. Golfer: Hey caddie, would you wade into that pond and see if you can find my ball? Caddie: Why? Golfer: It’s my lucky ball.
  53. Why does the golfer carry two pants?… In case he gets a hole in one.
  54. Why does the golfer carry an extra pair of socks?… In case he gets a hole in one.
  55. Where do golfers go on their date?… The golf ball.
  56. Why isn’t golf played in the jungle?… Because there are too many cheetahs.
  57. “Why do golfers carry two gloves?… In case they get a hole in one.