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More Pirate Jokes…

  1. What is a pirate’s favorite letter?…. Most people think it’s the ‘R’rrrr, but really it’s the ‘C’ they love. (26 lessons for the Letter of the Week & Ocean Jokes)
  2. A pirate and a sailor were exchanging stories. The sailor pointed to the pirate’s peg leg and asked, “How did you get that?” The pirate said, “Aye, I wrestled a shark and lost me leg.” The sailor pointed to the pirate’s hook and asked, “How did you get that?” The pirate said: “Aye, I fought Red Beard’s crew and lost me hand.” The sailor pointed to the pirate’s eye patch and asked, “How did you get that?” The pirate said, “Aye, a bird came by and left droppings in me eye.” The sailor said, “That’s not as impressive as the other two. …” “Aye,” the pirate answered. “It was me first day with the hook.”
  3. Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?… Because they can spend years at C. (26 lessons for the Letter of the Week)
  4. 3.14% of Sailors are PI rates! (Pi Day Jokes)
  5. What’s a pirate’s favorite country?… AARRRRGGHentina! (Geography Jokes)
  6. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of exercise?… The plank!
  7. What type of pirate testifies in court?…  An “Aye” “Aye” Witness! (Pirate Jokes)
  8. What do ye call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?…  A rookie.
  9. What’s a pirate’s favorite basketball move?… Jump hook. (Basketball Jokes for Kids)
  10. What’s the pirate’s favorite movie?… Booty and the Beast. (Disney Jokes for Kids)
  11. Why don’t you ever see a pirate cry?… When they do, it’s a private tear!
  12. Why is pirating so addictive?…  They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!
  13. What kind of ships do pirates have trouble with?… Relationships! (Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  14. What is the official mascot of of Pi Day?… the PI – rate! (Pi Day Jokes)
  15. Do you know any good pirate jokes?… Neither do Ayyye!
  16. Where do pirates get drunk?… The Sand Bar.
  17. How do pirates talk to each other?… Aye to aye!
  18. What did the sea say to the Pirate Captain?… Nothing, it just waved! (Geography Jokes)
  19. Where did the one legged pirate go for breakfast?… IHOP. (Bacon Jokes & Egg Jokes)
  20. Why did the pirate fail his spelling class?…. Because he insisted there were seven ‘C’s. (Deos Selplnig Ralely Mtetar? & Spelling Lists / Ocean Jokes)
  21. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?…  A nervous wreck! (Psychology Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  22. What happened when Red Beard fell in the Deep Blue Sea?… He got marooned.
  23. Why should pirates work for FedEx?… They have the fastest ships in the shipping business.
  24. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook?… An arm and a leg. (Biology Jokes)
  25. Why do pirates make excellent fishermen?… They know how to hook the big ones. (Fishing Jokes for Kids)
  26. When is the best time for a pirate to buy a new ship?… When it’s on sail. (Black Friday Jokes)
  27. Why did the pirate not learn how to bowl?… He had a severe hook. (Top 10 Sports Jokes)
  28. Have you heard about the new pirate movie?… It’s rated AARRRRGGH! (Family Movies)
  29. What are the only notes a pirate can sing?… High C’s [seas] (Music Jokes)
  30. What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?… A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries. (Massachusetts Jokes)
  31. What kind of grades did the pirate get in school?… HIGH SEAS! (Teacher Jokes)
  32. How much does a pirate pay to get his ears pierced?… A-buck-an-ear.
  33. What’s every pirate’s favorite flavor potato chip?… Barrrrrrbeque. (Summer Jokes)
  34. What’s the pirate’s favorite restaurant?… Trick question because it’s either Jolly Roger or Long John Silver’s.
  35. What’s a pirate’s favorite state?… Arrrrkansas (Top 50 State Jokes)
  36. A book never written: “Pirate Gold” by Barry D. Treasure.
  37. A book never written: Pirate Treasure” by Barry Moore.
  38. What kind of socks does a pirate wear?… AARRRRGGHyle!
  39. If Blackbeard played sports who would he play for?… Either the Tampa Bay Buccaneers or the Pittsburg Pirates. (Top 10 Sports Jokes)
  40. How do pirates make their money?… By hook or by crook.
  41. Where can ye find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?… Right where ye left him.
  42. Why are pirates called pirates?… They just aRRRRRRRR,
  43. Why don’t pirates use a safe deposit box?… They put their valuables in Davy Jones’ Locker.
  44. What does a pirate wear for Halloween?… A pumpkin patch! (Top Halloween Jokes & Pumpkin Jokes)
  45. How could the pirate acquire the ship so cheaply?… Because it was on sail. (Black Friday Jokes)
  46. How do ye turn a pirate furious?… Take away the “p.”
  47. What shivers at the bottom of the sea?… a nervous wreck (Psychology Jokes)
  48. Why don’t pirates take a bath before they walk the plank?… They’ll just wash up on shore later. (Geography Jokes)
  49. Have you heard about the new pirate movie?… It’s rated AARRRRRR because of all the booty!
  50. What does a pirate say when he takes over santa’s job?… Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum. (Top Christmas Jokes)
  51. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of cookie?… ships ahoy (Cookie Jokes for Kids)
  52. When boxing, what’s a pirate’s favorite punch?… Left hook. (Top 10 Sports Jokes)
  53. Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet?… Because they insist there are 7 Cs! (Deos Selplnig Ralely Mtetar? & Spelling Lists)
  54. What’s a pirate’s least favorite animal?… Beaver. (Animal Jokes)
  55. Why aren’t there any French Restaurants in Davy Jones’ Locker?… Dead men sell no snails!
  56. Where do pirates buy their sketch pads?… Arrrrrrrt Supply Store.
  57. What kind of look does a pirate give right before walking off the ship?… Plank stare.
  58. How does a pirate tell his matey he’ll watch for him?… I’ll keep an eye out for you. (Biology Jokes for Kids)
  59. What a pirate’s 2 favorite letters?… Arrrr and Seaaaa. (Deos Selplnig Ralely Mtetar? & Spelling Lists)
  60. What did the Pirate on Wheel of Fortune say?… I’d like to buy an Aye!
  61. How much did the pirate’s ear-rings cost?… A-buck-an-ear
  62. What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer?… Shiver me timbers! (Tree Jokes)
  63. What’s a pirate always looking for, even though it’s right behind him?… His booty! (Biology Jokes)
  64. Why does a pirate’s phone go beep beep beep beep beep?… because he left it off the hook!
  65. Why can’t pirates play cards?… Because they’re always standing on the deck!
  66. What is a pirate’s favorite subject?… Arrrrrrt.
  67. How do pirates know they exist?… They think, therefore they arrrr.
  68. How much did the pirate pay for his peg-leg and hook?… An arm and a leg. (Biology Jokes)
  69. What’s a pirate’s second-choice job?… an arrrrrrchitect!
  70. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet?… arrrr (26 lessons for the Letter of the Week)
  71. What’s a pirate’s second favorite mode of transportation?… A cAARRRRGGH! (Massachusetts Jokes)
  72. What Star Wars character is really a pirate?… AARRRRGGH-2 D-2! (Star Wars Jokes)
  73. Why did the pirate go on vacation?… He needed some AARRRRGGH and AARRRRGGH! (Travel Guest Blogs)
  74. Where do pirates put their trash?… in the GARRRRRRRRRRRBAGE can!
  75. What is a pirates favorite doll?… BARRRRRRRRRRBIE!
  76. Where do pirates keep their cookies?… in a jarrrr!!!! (Cookie Jokes for Kids)
  77. How did the pirate become a lawyer?… he passed the barrrrr!!!!(Cookie Jokes for Kids)
  78. Where do pirates like to eat?… the HARRRRRRD rock cafe! (Travel Guest Blogs)
  79. What are pirates afraid of?… the DARRRRRRRRRRK.
  80. What did the pirate do to his drowning first mate?… C P ARRRRRRRRR. (Doctor Jokes)
  81. Where did the pirate put its car when it was done driving it?… the PARRRRRRRRRKING lot, (Car Jokes)
  82. Why are pirates the coolest?… they just ARRRRRRRR!!!
  83. Where do pirates keep their weapons?… in an ARRRRRRRRSONAL!
  84. What’s a pirates favorite fast food restaurant? ………arrrrrr-by’s. (Fast Food Jokes)
  85. Where do pirates park their ships?… in the harrrrrrbor! (Ocean Jokes)
  86. Where do pirates get their haircut?… at the barrrrrber! (Barber Jokes)
  87. Why is there smoke all around the pirate?… He’s smoking a cigarrr.
  88. Why does the pirate say AED?… He knows medical Jarrrgon. (Doctor Jokes)
  89. What was the pirate’s golf score?… parrrr. (Golf Jokes)
  90. Why did the pirate move to Russia?… To be czarrr. (Travel Guest Blogs)
  91. How much does it cost a pirate to get a piercing?… A buck an ear! (Biology Jokes)
  92. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook?… An arm and a leg! (Biology Jokes)
  93. What does a gourmet pirate add to his dinner?… A gAARRRRGGHnish!
  94. What has 8 arms and 8 legs?… Eight pirates! (Math Jokes for Kids)
  95. How did the pirate stop smoking?… He used the patch!
  96. What do you call a pirate that skips class?… Captain Hooky! (180 School Jokes)
  97. Where do pirates get chocolate?… Carob bean. (Travel Guest Blogs) & Chocolate Jokes)
  98. Where do pirates drink their beer?… In schooners.
  99. Which pirate ship has a gate?… Frigate.
  100. What is a buccaneer?… Pretty high price to pay for corn. (Corn Jokes)
  101. What does a vegan pirate do in jail?… Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrve!
  102. Where does a pirate store his workout clothes?… Davy Jone’s Locker.
  103. What’s Bluebeard’s favorite song?… Doubloon Moon.
  104. How did the pirate stop smoking?… He used the patch.
  105. What does a Dyslexic Pirate Say?… RRAAAAAAAAAAA!
  106. What’s a pirate’s favorite food?… Arrrrrtichokes.
  107. Why do pirates never go hiking?… poison oak is deadly with hook. (Hiking Jokes)
  108. Where do pirates find their birds?… Parrots Without Partners. (Bird Jokes)
  109. Did you hear about the pirate’s parrot that fell in love with a duck?… The bird kept saying, “Polly wants a quacker.” (Bird Jokes)
  110. Why couldn’t the young pirate see the R-rated movie?… There was no parrot-al guidance. (Bird Jokes)
  111. Why does a pirate fear getting older?… He could have arrrrthritus. (Doctor Jokes)
  112. How do pirates eat on their ships?… Slurp soup on the sloop.
  113. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?… A carrot.
  114. What does a pirate think happens at the end of time?… Arrrrmageddon.
  115. What exercise is hard for Blackbeard?… Pirate Pilates.
  116. Who was the pirate’s favorite musician?… Carlos Bandana. (Music Jokes)
  117. What has 12 arms, 12 legs and 12 eyes?… A dozen pirates. (Math Jokes for Kids)
  118. Who’s the pirate’s favorite actress?… Diane Cannon.
  119. How does a pirate, wearing a patch, say “yes” to the leader?… Eye Eye, Captain. (Biology Jokes)
  120. What does a pirate put on toast?… Jelly Roger. (Peanut Butter Jokes)
  121. Why did the pirate refuse to say, “Aye, Aye, Captain”?… Because he’s only got one eye. (Biology Jokes)
  122. What was Bluebeard’s wife’s name?… Peg.
  123. What’s the smelliest part of a pirate ship?… the poop deck.
  124. What did one pirate say to the other?… “I sea you!”
  125. What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?… I, I, R, and the seven C’s!
  126. How do pirates prefer to communicate?… Aye to aye!
  127. What did the pirate say when he became an octogenarian?… Aye matey years old!
  128. Why couldn’t the pirate crew play cards?… Because the captain was standing on the deck!
  129. A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man with an eye patch running around and waving his arms wildly. “Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?” “I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”
  130. Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?…  Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.
  131. What does a Pirate Santa say…? “Row row row..”
  132. What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?…  One has a rumbling tummy, and the other’s a tumbling rummy.
  133. Why didn’t the 11 year old go to the pirate movie?… because it was rated arrrrr.
  134. Why are pirates so eco-friendly?… They always follow the three arrrrrrrs.
  135. Have you heard any good pirate jokes?… Well, neither have ayyyye.