My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Find qualified tutors in your area today!
Top Joke Pages:
- Bully Prevention Month: Great Anti-Bullying Blogs
- Top 10 Jokes for Each Month
- Top 10 Jokes
- Funny Halloween Jokes
- Top 10 October Jokes (October Jokes)
- What do you call something that looks like pasta, and tastes like pasta, but isn’t pasta?… An impasta.
- What type of pasta is best eaten on its own?… Ravi-lonely.
- Did y’all hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way, but his legacy will become a pizza history. I’m sending olive my thoughts and prayers to his family. How sad that he ran out of thyme, here today gone tomato, we cannoli do so much. I never sausage a tragedy.
- Did you hear about the pasta and its cooking water?… Their relationship was strained.
- Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef?… He pasta way… Looks like he ran out of thyme.
- What do you call pasta with a cold?… Macaroni and sneeze.
- A pasta chef was caught stuffing the ballot boxes at a big Broadway awards show… Apparently, he was trying to rig a Tony.
- What’s Forest Gump’s favorite kind of pasta?… Penne.
- What do you call a fake noodle?… An impasta.
- What did the pasta that grew up in the streets tell his kids?… I grew up in the spaghetto.
- A scientist took his dog to work to help experiment on pasta. It’s labranoodle!
- Tired of boiling water every time you make pasta?… Boil some at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later.
- Why are people buying out all the pasta/macaroni products? Because when you are in lockdown… A nice bowl can pasta time quicker.
- How much water should you use when you make pasta? About a cup orzo!
- Always wonder if mixing pasta and antipasto is like mixing matter and anti-matter.
- Who is the saddest person in the pasta factory? The chap who’s filling cannelloni.
- Why did everyone think the spaghetti was flirting? It was just a little too saucy!
- Knock Knock Who’s there? Pasta Pasta who? Pasta salt please
- Knock Knock Who’s there? Pasta Pasta who? Pasta pepper please
- Did you hear about the man with a car made out of pasta? He got in a crash and now his car’s al dente!
- I love eating food at midnight… It’s pasta bed time!
- What is the dress code at a pasta convention?… Bowtie.
- I quit eating spaghetti… Now it’s a thing of the pasta.
- What is your favorite type of tea?… Spaghett-tea.
- I just got fired from the pasta factory… I made a fusili mistakes.
- There’s 500 types of pasta… The pastabilities are endless.
- How did the pasta chef get locked out of his house?… He came home from work with gnocchi.
- What do you call the formal study of pasta?… Linguinistics.
- Have you guys tried my new Texan pasta dish?… It’s y’all dente.
- Where did the spaghetti go to dance?… The meat ball!
- What do Italians say about pasta?… Every penne counts!
- Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?… He pasta way.
- Did you hear about the COVID-19 spreading like crazy in Italy?… Looks like it’s being pasta around.
- What do Italians eat on halloween?… Fetuccini A-fraid-o (Top Halloween Jokes)
- What did mummy pasta say to baby pasta?… It’s pasta your bedtime!
- What type of pasta do they serve at the haunted house?… Fettuccini afraido!
- How did the police solve the case of the stolen marinara sauce?… They caught the thief red-handed!
- What do you call it when someone cries because their spaghetti is vegetarian?… A meat bawl!
- Why didn’t the ravioli get invited to hang out with the cool pastas?… Because he was a little square!
- What did the macaroni say to the spaghetti in the boxing ring?… Come and spaghet it!
- What does an Irishman get after eating Italian lasagna?… Gaelic breath!Gaelic breath!
- What type of pasta does the Pope eat?… Holy macaroni!
- What type of pasta clings to everything?… Clinguine!
- What did the pasta say to the cheese?… It’s grate to meet you!
- What would you get if you crossed pasta with a snake?… Spaghetti that wraps itself around a fork!
- What do you call a pasta that doesn’t have any friends?… Ravi-lonely!
- What do you call partially cooked pasta that’s on fire?… Aldente’s Inferno!
- What kind of dish does an impasta make?… Faked ziti!
- My Mum thinks I’m an idiot because I’m building my own car out of spaghetti. She wont be laughing when I drive pasta!S
- Why didn’t the fettuccine go out for Halloween?… It was too alfredo!
- What did the pasta say to the tomato?… Don’t get saucy with me!
- Why couldn’t the man lift three tonnes of pasta?… He wasn’t stroganoff!
- What do you call a sad noodle?… Upsetti spaghetti!
- What’s the most humorous kind of pasta?… Chortle-ini!
- How do you say goodbye to an Italian chef?… Pasta la vista!
- Why wouldn’t Ebenezer Scrooge eat at the pasta restaurant?… It cost a pretty penne!
- Do you know the Ghostbusters’ catchphrase in Italian?… I ain’t alfredo no ghost
- What did the penne say to the macaroni when they were walking slowly?… Go pasta!
- Italians don’t die they… Pasta way.
- I have a medical condition where I’m allergic to only one type of pasta… It’s called macaroni and sneeze!
- I wrote a play about pasta and fairly won an award… I didn’t even have to rig a Tony.
- What kind of pasta grants wishes?… Fettugenie
- I was choking on some alphabet pasta when a lady asked if I needed help… She took the words right out of my mouth.
- Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta… All because of a fusilli people.
- I had some uncooked pasta for dinner yesterday… It was an all-round solid meal.
- I’m starting a new pasta cult May we praise the Noodle Lord for eternity. Ramen.
- What do you call a pasta that is sick?… Mac and sneeze. (Top Winter Jokes)
- What do you call a pair of pasta magicians?… Penne and Tagliateller
- I taught my son about gravity by throwing pasta and sauce at the ceiling He didn’t get it at first, but it wasn’t long before the penne dropped.
- What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say before eating pasta? PASTA LA VISTA BABY.
- What does an Irishman get after eating Italian lasagna?… Gaelic breath! (St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
- What would you get if you crossed pasta with a snake?… Spaghetti that wraps itself around a fork
- What is the dress code at a pasta convention?… Bowtie
- My sister bet me a $1,000,000 that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta.
- What do you call it when Jesus throws his Pasta at the door?… Gnocchi on Heaven’s Door.
- I didn’t understand what my wife meant when she told me I was holding the bag of pasta upside down… Then the Penne dropped!
- My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with pasta… I’m feeling canneloni right now.
- I started eating more pasta, and suddenly became psychic… you could say I had penne for their thoughts.
- What do you call all the pasta that you haven’t eaten yet?… Futura.
- Did you hear about the pasta sauce that was really good at knocking down pins?… It was a bowlin’ ace.
- Did you hear about the Italian man who died? He pasta way… …now he’s a pizza history.
- A wife talking to her neighbor: Wife: My husband went to get some pasta and got hit with a bus. Neighbor: Oh God! What did you do? Wife: I made some fried eggs and called it a day.
- What do you call the aspect of pasta that allows it to stab you?… The penne trait.
- What do you call a pasta sauce made out of sea breezes?… A ‘marine’-‘air’a.
- What’s “Hasta la vista, baby” in Italian?… Pasta la pizza, baby!
- What do you call hellish pasta?… Al Dente’s inferno
- What do you call spooky Italian music?… Creepy pasta.
- What do you call a magical pasta that grants you three wishes?… Fettu-genie alfredo.
- What did the ravioli play on his birthday?… Pasta Parcel.
- Mafia have boiled a man to death in an industrial pasta cooker… Police are still trying to al dentefy the victim.
- My mum was upset when I put ginger in the pasta last night… I guess she liked that cat.
- What do you call a dodgy neighborhood in Italy?… A Spaghetto.
- What did Lara eat for dinner?… Croft Macaroni and Cheese.
- I’ve been trying to come up with a good pasta joke but it’s in pasta bowl!
- Pasta PunsNothing is impastable.
- Penne for your thoughts.
- Pasta la vista baby!
- Tortellini in love with you.
- It cost a pretty penne!
- This pasta is tortellini awesome!
- This may sound a bit cheesy, but it is so grate to see you.
- Come and spaghet it!
- You’re quite a dish!
- I’m feeling a little saucy today!
- Your future is full of pastabilities.
- I want to pasta time away with you.
- I cannelloni believe how good this pasta is.
- Hope you gnocchi how wonderful you are.
- Can you pasta sauce please?
- I walked right pasta restaurant without realizing it.
- Pasta la vista, baby.
- Pasta than a speeding bullet.
- She’s dead, she pasta way.
- Sorry this gift is pasta due.
- The pastabilities are endless!
- I’m feeling a little saucy.
- He drank too much and is totally sauced
- You are tortellini awesome.
- That is tortellini accurate.
- Come and spaghet it.
- I did it fusilli reasons.
- You’re so fusilli
- It cost a pretty penne
- Penne for your thoughts.
- Holy Cannelloni!
- I Cannelloni laugh at my mistakes
- Hope you gnocchi how awesome you are.
- How do I unlock it? There’s gnocchi hole in this door.
- I’m so gnocchi to have you
- Just gnocchi it down and start over
- Just gnoccing around
- I’m laughing so hard I’m ravioling on the floor
- That low cut dress is so ravioling
- Heading to the big ziti!
- I’m a ziti slicker
- Sex and the ziti
- About a scoop of sauce orzo should do
- I ain’t alfredo no ghost!
- I’m not stroganoff to beat him
- Legalize marinara
- Noodles are part of my daily rotini
- Ooh look, A lambourguini
- How ramentic
- That new guy looks Cannelloni (kind of lonely)
- So you spaghetting older?
- Spaghett hype
- Spaghett out of my way
- The battle of spaghettisburg
- Think about the pasta-bilities.
- This dish is so good, it’s pre-pasta-rous.
- This is pastably the worst pasta pun ever.
- This too shall pasta.
- You’re an im-pasta!
- You’re pasta-tively amazing.
- You pasta your test!