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- Why can’t you trust an atom?… They make up everything,
- What do physicists enjoy doing the most at sporting events?… The Wave (School Jokes: Geography Jokes for Teachers)
- What is the name of the first electricity detective?… Sherlock Ohms.
- What did the physicist snack on during lunch?… A ‘gram’ cracker.
- Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?… Because it’s in the ground state. (Hamburger Day Jokes)
- Why did the physicist throw the stop sign into the ocean?… He was studying sign waves. (Car Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
- How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb?… Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.
- What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?… SWAG
- Where does bad light end up?… In a prism.
- What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?… A CaNiNe (Top Dog Jokes)
- Why couldn’t the moebius strip enroll at the school?… They required an orientation. (Pi Day Jokes)
- What would you call a clown in jail?… Silicon (Silly Con)
- Why is a physics book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
- What is non-orientable and lives in the ocean?… Mobius Dick.
- According to a physicist, why is the world so diverse?… Because it’s made up of alkynes of people.
- What did Donald Duck say in his graduate physics class?… Quark, quark, quark! (Should Kids Miss School for a Disney Trip?)
- What did one uranium-238 nucleus say to the other?… “Gotta split!”
- What did one quantum physicist say when he wanted to fight another quantum physicist?… Let me atom.
- What do physicists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?… A ferrous wheel. (Top Summer Jokes)
- Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?… They bonded well from the minute they met. (Top Holiday Jokes & Top Valentine’s Day Jokes)
- If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?… H2O cubed.
- Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?… To get to the same side.
- What did Al Gore play on his guitar?… An Algorithm
- Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?… He was better at fitting curves than hitting them.
- Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together?… OMg!
- A neutron walked into a bar and asked, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, no charge.”
- According to Einstein’s Theory of Relatives, the probability of in-laws visiting you is directly proportional to how much you feel like being left alone.