My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Find qualified tutors in your area today!

  1. Why can’t you trust an atom?… They make up everything,
  2. What do physicists enjoy doing the most at sporting events?… The Wave (School Jokes: Geography Jokes for Teachers)
  3. What is the name of the first electricity detective?… Sherlock Ohms.
  4. What did the physicist snack on during lunch?… A ‘gram’ cracker.
  5. Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?… Because it’s in the ground state. (Hamburger Day Jokes)
  6. Why did the physicist throw the stop sign into the ocean?… He was studying sign waves. (Car Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  7. How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb?… Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.
  8. What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?… SWAG
  9. Where does bad light end up?… In a prism.
  10. What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?… A CaNiNe (Top Dog Jokes)
  11. Why couldn’t the moebius strip enroll at the school?… They required an orientation. (Pi Day Jokes)
  12. What would you call a clown in jail?… Silicon (Silly Con)
  13. Why is a physics book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.
  14. What is non-orientable and lives in the ocean?… Mobius Dick.
  15. According to a physicist, why is the world so diverse?… Because it’s made up of alkynes of people.
  16. What did Donald Duck say in his graduate physics class?… Quark, quark, quark! (Should Kids Miss School for a Disney Trip?)
  17. What did one uranium-238 nucleus say to the other?… “Gotta split!”
  18. What did one quantum physicist say when he wanted to fight another quantum physicist?… Let me atom.
  19. What do physicists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?… A ferrous wheel. (Top Summer Jokes)
  20. Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?… They bonded well from the minute they met. (Top Holiday Jokes & Top Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  21. If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?… H2O cubed.
  22. Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?… To get to the same side.
  23. What did Al Gore play on his guitar?… An Algorithm
  24. Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?… He was better at fitting curves than hitting them.
  25. Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together?…  OMg!
  26. A neutron walked into a bar and asked, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, no charge.”
  27. According to Einstein’s Theory of Relatives, the probability of in-laws visiting you is directly proportional to how much you feel like being left alone.