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- My father gave me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday… I couldn’t find the words to thank him.
- What did one book say to the other one?… I just wanted to see if we are on the same page.
- What do you do if pet starts eating your library book?… Take the words right out of their mouth.
- What do librarians hang over their babies’ cribs?… Bookmobiles.
- What has a spine but no bones?… A book.
- Why did the Rumanian stop reading for the night?… To give his Bucharest (book a rest). (Top Geography Jokes)
- Any book with George Washington’s writing in it is worth thousands of dollars. Any book with my writing in it is worth two weeks of detention.
- What would you get if you crossed a locomotive with the author of Tom Sawyer?… A choo choo Twain. (Top Mark Twain Quotes)
- How did the author of Tom Sawyer learn to ride a bicycle?… With Twain ing wheels. (Top Mark Twain Quotes)
- What happened when the bloodhound wrote his autobiography?… It got on the best smeller list.
- What books were ordered from Prague?… Czech (check) books. (Top Geography Jokes)
- Which mythological character carried the maps?… Atlas. (Top Geography Jokes)
- What was the name of the book about a trio of adventurous French cows?… The Three Moo sketeers. (Top Geography Jokes)
- What book is about a rodent pioneer?… “Little Mouse on the Prairie.” (Top Geography Jokes)
- What did they call Tom Sawyer’s friend after he lost a lot of weight?… “Huckleberry thin (Finn).” (Top Mark Twain Quotes)
- Why was the library so messy?… Because it was full of litter ature.
- What would you get if you crossed a comedian and an Edgar Allan Poe story?… The wit and the pendulum.
- Did you read the dachshund’s autobiography?… It’s a long story.
- Why doesn’t the Grinch like knock knock jokes?… Because there’s always Whos there! (Top Dr. Seuss Jokes)
- What Dr. Suess baseball book was never published?… “The Cat at Bat!” (Top Baseball Jokes)
- What is Sam-I-am’s middle name?… “I” (Top Dr. Seuss Jokes)
- What book does the “Cat in the Hat” hate?… Go Dogs Go! (Top Dr. Seuss Jokes)
- Librarian: Why don’t you take home a Dr. Seuss? Pupil: I didn’t know he made house calls. (Top Dr. Seuss Jokes)
- Teacher: How many books did you finish over the summer? Pupil: None. My brother stole my box of crayons.
- What made you laugh?… From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
- Teacher: Why are you holding your textbook up to the window Pupil: You told me to open it up to the Middle East. (Top Geography Jokes)
- Why did the vampire check out a drawing book?… He wanted to learn how to draw blood. (Top Halloween Jokes)
- How can you tell if an elephant checked out a book before you did?… When you open it, peanut shells fall out.
- What reference book should you use when you forget your shovel?… The dig-tionary.
- Librarian: Why don’t you take home a Dr. Seuss? Pupil: I didn’t know he made house calls.
- Teacher: What does your history book tell you about the Civil War? Pupil: It doesn’t tell me anything. I have to read the dumb thing. (Top Civil War Jokes)
- If you don’t know what the word “dictionary” means, where would you look it up?
- Teacher: Tell the class what book you read. Pupil: Black Beauty. Teacher:And tell the class what it was about. Pupil: It was about 120 pages.
- All of my schoolbooks have pictures in them, even if I have to draw them myself.
- My teacher caught me drawing in my American Revolution textbook. She said, “What do you think you’re doing?” I said, “Making my mark in history.” (Top 4th of July Jokes)
- One of my teachers said that I should hand in my books at the end of the year better than when I got them. What does he want me to do, add pages?
- My teacher told us that books are man’s best friend, so my dog bit him.
- My teacher says we should treat our schoolbooks just like we treat one another. So after school, I picked a fight with my History book. (Top Mother’s Day Jokes)
- Mother: How come you never bring any books home? Son: Mom, they’re schoolbooks, not home books. (Top Mother’s Day Jokes & Top Moms on Twitter)
- My lunch leaked all over my schoolbooks. I now have the only geography book where the map of Turkey is covered with gravy. (Top Geography Jokes)
- We have to carry heavy books home, then we have to carry heavy books back to school in the morning. If the authorities knew this was going to happen, why didn’t they build the school closer to us?
- What do Peter Pan and noon have in common?… Neither have a shadow.
- Librarian: Did you enjoy reading The Hunchback of Notre Dame? Pupil: Well, I read the first 100 pages, then I found out it wasn’t about football.
- Our school library is so quiet you can hear a pin drop and if it does; the pin will be sent to the principal’s office.
- Teacher: How many books have you read in your lifetime? Pupil: I don’t know. I’m not dead yet.
- Teacher: What did you learn from your history book about Harriet Beecher Stowe? Pupil: If you draw a beard and a stovepipe hat on her, she looks exactly like Abraham Lincoln.
- Our school librarian is very strict. She’ll send you to the principal’s office for thinking too loudly.
- Our school library is so quiet, when I’m sitting in there, I can hear my hair grow
- Teacher: Tell the class what book you read and then tell them something about the plot. Pupil: I read “The Life of Thomas Jefferson.” He dies at the end.
- My teacher says our schoolbooks are a magic carpet that will take us all over the world. I took mine to the garage and had them fitted with seat belts.
- Teacher: Tell the class what book you read and what you thought of it. Pupil: I read the phone book, but I didn’t understand it. It had too many characters.
- Librarian: Did you enjoy reading Moby Dick? Pupil: I couldn’t finish it. I got seasick.
- Pupil: Do you have Oliver Twist in hard cover? Librarian: Yes, we do. Pupil:Well, let him out; he’s a friend of mine.
- Son: Dad, my teacher says I should have an encyclopedia. Father: Nonsense, you’ll walk to school the same as I did.
- The only thing I hate worse than carrying a lot of schoolbooks home is having to open them once I get there.
- Teacher: Who is your favorite author? Pupil: George Washington. Teacher: But George Washington never wrote any books. Pupil: You got it. (Top George Washington Quotes)
- Pupil: Do you have Moby Dick? Librarian: Yes, we do. Pupil: I thought something smelled fishy in here.
- Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We promise for find the best Dr. Suess jokes! more good seasonal jokes and hundreds of Top U.S. Teachers who Tutor! Find one today
- Hey, you know I am writing a novel…. I can’t understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
- What do you wear to show you care that it’s Dr. Seuss’ birthday on this early March winter day?… a hat! (Top Dr. Seuss Jokes)