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This list was selected from 101 Halloween Jokes.

  1. Why wasn’t there any food left after the monster party?… Because everyone was a goblin!
  2. What is a mummy’s favorite type of music?… Rap music.
  3. What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?…The trombone.
  4. Where do movie stars go on Halloween?…MaliBOO!
  5. Why didn’t Dracula have any friends?…He was a pain in the neck!
  6. What do you call a skeleton that lies on its grave?…Lazy bones!
  7. What did one casket say to the other casket?…”Is that you coffin?” (coughing)
  8. What key opens a Haunted House?… A spooKEY!
  9. What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?…A nectarine.
  10. What kind of streets do zombies live on?… Dead-ends.
  11. What kind of boat do werewolves like?…blood vessels
  12. What is the problem with two twin witches?… You never know which witch is which!
  13. What do you call a mummy eating in bed?…A crummy mummy.
  14. What pants do ghosts wear?…BOO jeans.
  15. When do vampires like horse racing?…When it’s neck and neck!
  16. What do you call a witch who likes the beach but is scared of the water?…A chicken sand witch.
  17. What does a ghost call his mom and dad?…His transparents.
  18. What did the skeleton order with his drink?… A mop.
  19. Who won the zombie war?…Nobody, it was dead even.
  20. Why did Dracula go to the library?…He wanted a good book to sink his teeth into!
  21. What school subject is a witch good at?…Spelling.
  22. What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?…A pumpkin patch.
  23. What song do vampires hate?…”You are my sunshine!”
  24. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?…Because you can see right through him.
  25. What do you call a witch at the beach?…A sand-witch.
  26. Why couldn’t the skeleton cross the road?…Because he didn’t have the guts.
  27. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?…Because he wanted to get some muscles!
  28. What do skeletons say before they start to eat?…Bone appetite.
  29. What do ghosts serve for dessert?…I scream.
  30. What monster wears the most clothes?…A werewolf!
  31. How do you make a witch itch?…Take away her W.
  32. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?…”Watch the board and I’ll go through it again.”
  33. Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to the dance?…Because he had no body to go with.
  34. Why did the skeleton stand in the corner during his prom?…Because he had no body to dance with!
  35. What is a witch’s favorite food?…Goulash.
  36. How do you say goodbye to a vampire?… So long sucker!
  37. Why was the little ghost crying?…Because he wanted his mummy.
  38. What did the jack-o’-lantern say to the other jack-o’-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?…”Let’s get glowing.”
  39. Where does a vampire keep his money?…In a blood bank.
  40. What do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank?…A cab.
  41. Why don’t skeletons play music in church?…They have no organs.
  42. What kind of dog does a vampire have?…A bloodhound.
  43. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?… “Long time no see.”
  44. What did the werewolf eat after he’d had his teeth cleaned?…The dentist.
  45. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?…Ghoul-aid!
  46. Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you?…To the living room!
  47. What is a skeleton’s favorite drink?…Milk, it’s white and good for your bones.
  48. Why did the Cyclops close his school?…Because he only had one pupil.
  49. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?…Frostbite.
  50. What do you call two witches that live together?…Broom mates.
  51. What do you call a nervous witch?… A twitch.
  52. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?…Dead ringers.
  53. What does a ghost keep in its stable?…Nightmares.
  54. Why don’t mummies take vacations?…They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
  55. What kind of candy won’t a ghost touch?…Life Savers.
  56. What happens when a ghost haunts a theater?…The actors get stage fright.
  57. What did the little ghost say to his mom?…”I’ve got a boo boo.”
  58. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?…Sherlock Bones!
  59. What do you call an overweight pumpkin?…A plumpkin!
  60. How do you make a skeleton laugh?…Tickle its funnybone!
  61. Why was the big hairy , two-headed monster top of the class in school?…Because two heads are better than one.
  62. What do you read on Halloween?…BOO-ks
  63. Why can’t Dracula play baseball?…He lost his bat.
  64. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?…A Hallo-weenie!
  65. What’s a vampire’s favorite part of the guitar?…The neck.
  66. Knock knock…Who’s there?…Ivana…Ivana who?…Ivana suck your blood.
  67. Knock knock…Who’s there?…Frank…Frank who?…Frankenstein!
  68. Knock knock…Who’s there?…Orange…Orange who?…Orange you glad it’s Halloween?!
  69. Knock knock..Who’s there?…The ghost and the invisible man…The ghost and the invisible man who?…Long time no see!
  70. Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You’re lemonade!
  71. Which circus performer is a vampire’s favorite snack?… The juggler.
  72. Where ghosts water ski?… On Lake Erie.
  73. Where do ghosts go to relax?… The Dead Sea.
  74. Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?… They’re so WRAPPED up in themselves!
  75. What did a Jack-o-lantern say to the pumpkin?… Cut it out!