Top 500 State Jokes: Top 10 Jokes for Each State in the U.S.

by | Jun 8, 2015 | Education, Find a tutor, Latest News, Moms, Parents, tutoring | 0 comments

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Top 10 Jokes for each state & Top 50 State Jokes
The Electoral College by State: Highest to Lowest
More Great Jokes for Kids

  1. What is in the center of America?… The letter “R”.
  2. If a plane crashed on the border of Canada and USA, where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived!

Alabama Jokes

  1. Why is Alabama the smartest state?… Because it has 4 A’s and 1 B!
  2. What is the nautical chart of the Gulf of Mexico’s best pitch?… The depth curve.(Top Baseball Jokes)
  3. What did the Gulf of Mexico say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!

Alaska Jokes

  1. What do you get from an Alaskan cow?…  Ice Cream! (Top Ice Cream Jokes)
  2. If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?…. Idaho, Alaska! (U.S. Teachers are Great Tutors!)
  3. What sort of pudding roams wild in the Alaska?… Moose.
  4. What did Delaware to the basketball game?… Idaho, Alaska. Maybe her New Jersey.
  5. Teacher: Where did your dad go for her summer vacation? Student: Alaska. Teacher: Never mind, I’ll ask her myself. (Top Father’s Day Jokes)

Arkansas Jokes

  1. What did Tennessee?… The same thing Arkansas.

California Jokes

  1. What do you call a map guide to Alcatraz?… A con-tour map. (Visit a U.S. National Park / Work as a Park Ranger)
  2. “California geologists aren’t perfect, they have their (San Andres) faults.”
  3. What did the California say to the earthquake?… Hey, you crack me up!
  4. Where do you dance in California?… San Frandisco!
  5. What is the nautical chart of the Pacific Ocean’s best pitch?… The depth curve. (Top Baseball Jokes)
  6. What did the Pacific Ocean say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
  7. Why did Cali phone ya (California)?… She called to say Hawhi ya (Hawaii)
  8. What city has lots of sand?… Sand Francisco!

Colorado Jokes

  1. What did the puny rock say to the big muscle rock?… I wish I were boulder!
  2. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Colorado River!
  3. What do you get when you cross a Colorado Rockies mountain climber and a mosquito?… Nothing! You know you can’t cross a scalar and a vector. (Top Math Jokes of All-Time)
  4. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Colorado River!
  5. Where do fish keep their money?… In Colorado River banks.

Delaware Jokes

  1. What did Delaware?… A New Jersey.
  2. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
  3. What is the nautical chart of the Atlantic Ocean’s best pitch?… The depth curve. (Top Baseball Jokes)
  4. What did Delaware to the basketball game?… Idaho, Alaska. Maybe her New Jersey

Florida Teacher Unions

  1. Why is it easy to get into Florida?… Because there are so many keys. (Florida Teachers are Great Tutors!)
  2. What is the nautical chart of the Atlantic Ocean’s best pitch?… The depth curve.(Top Baseball Jokes)
  3. Where does Florida come before Utah?… The dictionary!
  4. What is the nautical chart of the Gulf of Mexico’s best pitch?… The depth curve.(Top Baseball Jokes)
  5. What did the Gulf of Mexico say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
  6. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!

Georgia Teacher Unions

  1. What is the nautical chart of the Atlantic Ocean’s best pitch?… The depth curve.(Top Baseball Jokes)
  2. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!

Hawaii Teacher Unions

  1. Why did Cali phone ya (California)?… She called to say Hawhi ya (Hawaii)

Idaho Teacher Unions

  1. If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?…. Idaho, Alaska! (U.S. Teachers are Great Tutors!)
  2. What did Delaware to the basketball game?… Idaho, Alaska. Maybe her New Jersey

Illinois Teacher Unions

  1. What is the loudest state in America?… Ill – i – NOISE!
  2. What is the favorite drink for people in Illinois (21+) when celebrating?… Champaign (Illinois)
  3. What state recommends that to wear ear plugs?… Ill – i – NOISE!
  4. What did one Illinois flag say to the other?… Nothing, it just waved! (Top Flag Day Jokes)
  5. What is the best U.S. city to have a celebration toast?… Champaign, Illinois.
  6. What state has a difficult time having a conversation?…. Ill – i – NOISE!
  7. What state do librarians hate the most?… Ill – i – NOISE!
  8. What state has the fewest libraries?… Ill – i – NOISE!
  9. What state has the fewest hours of sleep?… Ill – i – NOISE!
  10. In what state can you NEVER hear a pin drop?… Ill – i – NOISE!
  11. Why don’t people want to live in Illinois?… ‘Cause of too much noise!

Louisiana Teacher Unions

  1. What is the nautical chart of the Gulf of Mexico’s best pitch?… The depth curve.(Top Baseball Jokes)
  2. What did the Gulf of Mexico say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!

Maryland Teacher Unions

  1. What’s the happiest state in the union?… Merry-land!
  2. What is the nautical chart of the Atlantic Ocean’s best pitch?… The depth curve.(Top Baseball Jokes)
  3. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!

Maine Teacher Unions

  1. What is the nautical chart of the Atlantic Ocean’s best pitch?… The depth curve.(Top Baseball Jokes)
  2. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
  3. What sort of pudding roams wild in the Maine?… Moose.

Massachusetts Teacher Unions & Top Massachusetts Jokes

  1. If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring?… Pilgrims (The Mayflower Ship) (Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes)
  2. What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?…Plymouth Rock! (Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes)
  3. What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?… Liberty! (Top 4th of July Jokes)
  4. What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?… Tea-shirts. (Top 4th of July Jokes)
  5. How do people in Boston vote?… Early and often!
  6. What did the Massachusetts flag say to the American flag?… Nothing. It waved! (Top Flag Day Jokes)
  7. If the Boston Celtics were chasing the Boston Red Sox team, what time would it be?… Five after nine. (9:05) (Top 118 Baseball Jokes & Top 31 Basketball Jokes)
  8. Teacher: “More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.” Student: “Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!” (Top 4th of July Jokes)
  9. What was the Patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War?…Chicken Catch-a-Tory! (Top 4th of July Jokes)
  10. What do New England Aquarium penguins wear on their heads?… Ice caps. (Top Winter Jokes)

Michigan Teacher Unions

  1. What do you call someone from Detroit who talks a lot?… A Motor City mouth!

Minnesota Teacher Unions

  1. Which state has the smallest drink?… Minnesota (Mini-soda)
  2. What do you call a city without mini apples?… Mini-apple-less.
  3. Which state can you serve at a restaurant?… Mini Soda (Minnesota)
  4. What is the smallest state?… Mini-Sota (Minnesota)!

Mississippi Teacher Unions

  1. What has four eyes but can’t see?… Mississippi!
  2. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Mississippi River!
  3. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Mississippi River!
  4. Who did Mississippi get married too?… Mr Sippi!
  5. If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?…. Idaho, Alaska! (U.S. Teachers are Great Tutors!)
  6. What is the nautical chart of the Gulf of Mexico’s best pitch?… The depth curve.(Top Baseball Jokes)
  7. What did the Gulf of Mexico say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
  8. Where do fish keep their money?… In Mississippi River banks.
  9. Why is Mississippi such an unusual river?… It has four eyes and can’t even see!
  10. Why is the state Mississippi so odd?… Because it has four I’s but can’t see!
  11. Teacher: How do you spell Mississippi? Student: The state or the river?

Nevada Teacher Unions

  1. Why do paper maps never win at poker?… Because they always fold. (Top Sports Jokes)

New Jersey Teacher Unions

  1. If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?…. Idaho, Alaska! (U.S. Teachers are Great Tutors!)
  2. What is the nautical chart of the Atlantic Ocean’s best pitch?… The depth curve.(Top Baseball Jokes)
  3. What did Delaware?… A New Jersey. (U.S. Teachers are Great Tut
  4. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
  5. What did Delaware to the basketball game?… Idaho, Alaska. Maybe her New Jersey

New York

  1. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?… Times Square.
  2. Where do eggs go on summer vacation?… New Yolk City!

New Hampshire Teacher Unions

  1. What is the nautical chart of the Atlantic Ocean’s best pitch?… The depth curve.(Top Baseball Jokes)
  2. What sort of pudding roams wild in the New Hampshire?… Moose.
  3. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
  4. What do you get when you cross a White Mountains mountain climber and a mosquito?… Nothing! You know you can’t cross a scalar and a vector. (Top Math Jokes of All-Time)

North Carolina Teacher Unions

  1. What is the nautical chart of the Atlantic Ocean’s best pitch?… The depth curve.(Top Baseball Jokes)
  2. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!

Ohio Teacher Unions

  1. What is round at each end and high in the middle?… Ohio. (U.S. Teachers are Great Tutors!)

Oregon Teacher Unions

  1. What is the nautical chart of the Pacific Ocean’s best pitch?… The depth curve. (Top Baseball Jokes)
  2. What did the Pacific Ocean say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!

Pennsylvania Teacher Unions

  1. Where do all the pencils come from?… Pennsylvania. (Pennsylvania Teachers are Great Tutors!)

Tennessee Teacher Unions

  1. What did Tennessee?… The same thing Arkansas.

South Carolina Teacher Unions

  1. What is the nautical chart of the Atlantic Ocean’s best pitch?… The depth curve.(Top Baseball Jokes)
  2. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!

Texas Teacher Unions

  1. What is the nautical chart of the Gulf of Mexico’s best pitch?… The depth curve.(Top Baseball Jokes)
  2. What did the Gulf of Mexico say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!

Utah Unions

  1. Where does Florida come before Utah?… The dictionary!

Virginia Teacher Unions

  1. If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?…. Idaho, Alaska! (U.S. Teachers are Great Tutors!)
  2. What is the nautical chart of the Atlantic Ocean’s best pitch?… The depth curve.(Top Baseball Jokes)
  3. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!

Washington Teacher Unions

  1. Which state does the most laundry?… Washington.
  2. What is the nautical chart of the Pacific Ocean’s best pitch?… The depth curve. (Top Baseball Jokes)
  3. What is the cleanest state?… Washington!
  4. What did the Pacific Ocean say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
  5. What’s the capital of Washington?… W.

Washington D.C. Teacher Unions

  1. Which state does the most laundry?… Washington.
  2. Where does the president send his dirty clothes?… To Wash-ington D.C.!

Wisconsin Teacher Unions

  1. What U.S. state is best at producing cheese?… Swiss-consin!

Wyoming Jokes (Top Wyoming High Schools & Colleges)

  1. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Snake River!
  2. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Snake River!
  3. Where do Wyoming fish keep their money?… In The Snake River banks.

 

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