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FIND A PRIVATE U.S. TUTOR! Top Massachusetts SchoolsTop Massachusetts Jokes

  1. What was the Patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War? Chicken Catch-a-Tory!
  2. What dance was very popular in 1776?… Indepen-dance!
  3. What did a patriot put on his dry skin?… Revo-lotion!
  4. Teacher: “More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.”… Student: “Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!”
  5. What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?…Tea-shirts.
  6. What ghost haunted King George III?… The spirit of ‘76!
  7. What was General Washington’s favorite tree?… The infan-tree.
  8. Where did General Washington put his armies?… In his sleevies!
  9. What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?… The Americans licked the British.
  10. Did you hear the joke about the Liberty Bell?… Yeah, it cracked me up!
  11. “Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?”… “On the bottom!”
  12. What did King George think of the American colonists?… He thought they were revolting!
  13. What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?… Liberty!
  14. Teacher: “Which son of old Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?”
    Student: “I think it was Thomas Jeffer’s son.” (Top Teacher Jokes)
  15. Did you hear about the artist in the Continental Army?… He was a Yankee doodler.
  16. What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware?…”Get in the boat, men!”
  17. Why did the British cross the Atlantic?… To get to the other tide!
  18. Which colonists told the most jokes?… Punsylvanians!
  19. What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country?… Beneduck Arnold.
  20. How did American colonists’ dogs protest against England?… The Boston Flea Party.
  21. What cat said, “The British are coming! The British are coming!”?… Paw Revere
  22. What has four legs, a shiny nose, and fought for England?… Rudolph the Redcoat Reindeer! (Christmas TriviaChristmas Jokes)
  23. Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?… Because the horse was too heavy to carry!
  24. What was Thomas Jefferson’s favorite dessert?… Monti jello
  25. Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army?… Laughayette
  26. Teacher: “True or False? The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia. Student: “False. It was written in ink.” (Top Teacher Jokes)
  27. What’s red, white, blue and green? A seasick Uncle Sam
  28. Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?… They’re both cracked. (Top 10 Easter Jokes)
  29. What do you call an American revolutionary who draws cartoons?…Yankee Doodler.
  30. Father William, the old priest, made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names.  Father William jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states. One lad raised his hand and said, Yes sir, but in those days there were only 13 states.
  31. Teacher: “How did the Founding Fathers decide on our country’s flag?” Student: “I guess they took a flag poll!” (Top Flag Day Jokes)
  32. What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?… The Battle of Bonkers Hill.
  33. What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed?… The Fodder of Our Country!
  34. What did the little firecracker say to the big firecracker?… Hi, Pop!
  35. What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1776?… The Boston Flea Party.
  36. Why did the British soldiers wear red coat?… So they could hide in the tomatoes.
  37. What’s red, white, blue, and almost as ugly as a dog?… A revolutionary warthog!
  38. What’s red, white, blue, and green?… A patriotic pickle.
  39. What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?… Yankee Poodle
  40. British people say that we as Americans go overboard with the 4th of July.When really the only thing that went overboard was their tea.
  41. Who gave the liberty Bell to Philadelphia?… A duck family, Because it had a qwack in it!
  42. Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?… At the chopping mall.
  43. What’s big, cracked, and carries your luggage?… The Liberty Bellhop!
  44. The Fourth of July weekend was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. “We live in a great country,” she said. “One of the things we should be happy about is that, in this country, we are all free.” One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said. . . .“I’m not free. I’m four.”
  45. A little boy just couldn’t learn. One day his teacher asked him who signed the Declaration of Independence. He didn’t know. For almost a week she asked him the same question every day, but still he couldn’t come up with the right answer. Finally, in desperation, she called the boy’s father to her office. “Your boy won’t tell me who signed the Declaration of Independence,” she complained. “Come here, son, and sit down,” the dad said to the boy. “Now if you signed that crazy thing, just admit it so we can get out of here!” (Top Teacher Jokes)
  46. What would you get if you crossed Washington’s home with nasty insects?… Mt. Vermin!
  47. What did one American flag say to the other flag?….. Nothing. It just waved! (Top Flag Day Jokes)
  48. What’s red, white and blue?… Our flag, of course. And a sad candy cane! (Top Christmas Jokes)
  49. What’s the difference between a duck and George Washington?… One has a bill on his face; the other has his face on a bill!
  50. Why were the first Pennsylvania settlers like ants?… Because they lived in colonies.
  51. What’s red, white, black and blue?… Uncle Sam falling down the stairs.
  52. What did Washington say as he crossed the Delaware?… ”Next time I’m going to reserve a seat!”
  53. What would you get if you crossed a colonial hairpiece with a teepee?… A powdered wigwam!
  54. What did Paul Revere say at the end of his historic ride?… I’ve got to get a softer saddle!
  55. Great American Political Book Never Written: “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks. (Top Presidents’ Day Jokes)
  56. What famous pig signed the Declaration of Independence?… John Hamcock!
  57. What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?… A fire cracker
  58. Do they have a 4th of July in England?… Of course. That’s how they get from the 3rd to the 5th. (4th of July Quiz)
  59. What do you call an AWESOME American drawing by a child?… A Yankee Doodle Dandy!
  60. What would you get if you crossed an idiot with Yankee Doodle?… Yankee Doofus!
  61. What would you get if you crossed the American national bird with Snoopy?… A bald beagle!
  62. What are the two main rules in the Continental Army?… 1. The commanding officer is always right. 2. If the commanding officer is not right, see #1
  63. What is Uncle Sam’s favorite snack?Fire crackers.
  64. Why were the first Americans like ants?… They lived in colonies.
  65. “If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn’t have declared their independence from it.” Stephen Colbert
  66. How is the American flag like Santa Claus?… They both hang out at the pole! (Christmas TriviaChristmas Jokes)
  67. What is red, white, blue, and yellow?… A star-spangled banana.
  68. What march would you play at a jungle parade?… “Tarzan Stripes Forever”!