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- 180 School Jokes
- 365 Jokes: Family-friendly jokes
- Joke of the Day: 365 Clean Jokes
- Jokes for Each Month
- Jokes for Special Days of the Year
- CLEAN jokes
- January 1st: Top New Year’s Day Jokes: What does the Easter Bunny say on New Year’s Day?…. Hoppy New Year! (Top Easter Jokes)
- Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctors?… He was feeling crummy. (Winter Jokes)
- Where is the best location for a Blizzard?…. Dairy Queen. (Blizzard Jokes)
- January 4th: National Spaghetti Day Jokes: What do you call a fake noodle?… An impasta.
- January 5th: National Bird Day Jokes: What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?… Owlgebra! (101 Pi Day Jokes & Algebra Jokes)
- How do snowmen travel around?… By icicle! (Bike Jokes)
- What is the snowman’s breakfast?… Frosted flakes! (Cereal Day Jokes)
- What’s the difference between a quarterback and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap. (National Football Champions & Top Football Jokes)
- What does Jack Frost like best about school?… Snow and tell. (180 School Jokes & Skiing Jokes)
- What do snowmen wear on their heads?… Ice caps! (Winter Jokes)
- January 11th: National Milk Day Jokes: What did mama cow say to baby cow?… It’s pasture bedtime. (Mother’s Day Jokes)
- What do you find in an empty nose?… fingerprints! (Top Elementary School Jokes)
- What kind of stories are told by basketball players?…. Tall Tales. (Basketball Jokes)
- What did the football say to the punter?… “I get a kick out of you.” (Super Bowl Champions & Top Football Jokes)
- January 15th: National Hat Day Jokes: What did the hat say to the tie?… “You hang around here…I’ll go on a head.”
- Why are bananas good at gymnastics?… They do great banana splits! (Top Gymnastics Jokes)
- What does Winnie-the-Pooh and Jabba the Hutt have in common?… The same middle name. (Star Wars Jokes)
- January 18th: Top 50 Winnie the Pooh Jokes: What’s Winnie’s favorite bird?… Christopher Robin.
- January 19th: National Popcorn Day Jokes: Why aren’t there many jokes about popcorn?… Because they are corny.
- Why won’t the elephant use the computer?….He’s afraid of the mouse! (180 School Jokes)
- What do you call a sleeping cow?… a bulldozer! (Cow Jokes)
- What’s the best thing to put into a pie?… Your teeth! (National Pie Day Jokes& Dentist Jokes)
- January 23rd: National Pie Day Jokes:Why did the pie go to a dentist?… Because he needed a filling! (Dentist Jokes)
- January 24th: National Peanut Butter Day Jokes: Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter?… I’m nut telling you. You might spread it!
- What did Mr. and Mrs. Hamburger name their daughter?…. Patty (Hamburger Jokes)
- What did the square say to the old circle?… Been around long? (Top Math Jokes & 101 Pi Day Jokes)
- If you want to sack the Dolphins quarterback, what should you use?… Your fishing tackle. (Top Fishing Jokes & Super Bowl Jokes)
- If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?…. Idaho, Alaska! (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)
- Why do paper maps never win at poker?… Because they always fold. (Top Sports Jokes)
- Why are croissant jokes always funny?…… Because they never get mold! (Croissant Day Jokes)
- Why wasn’t the moon hungry?… Because it was full! (Astronomy Jokes / Full Moon Names & Meanings / Full Moon Jokes)
- What month is the best for coffee? …. Feb – BREW – ary (Coffee Jokes)
- February 2nd: Ground Hog Day: What happened when the groundhog met the dogcatcher?… He became a pound hog! (Top 10 Ground Hog Day Jokes)
- What month is the Jake Paul’s favorite? …. Feb – BRO – ary
- Super Bowl Sunday: What football play should you be suspicious of in the Super Bowl?… The quarterback sneak. (Top Football Jokes)
- What month is the best month to tell a lie? …. FIB -ruary (Coffee Jokes)
- What always sits in the corner but can move all round the world?… A stamp. (Top Geography Jokes)
- What do you call a lineman’s kids?… Chips off the old blocker. (Top Football Jokes)
- What’s a curler’s favorite kind of food?… Take out! (Fast Food Jokes & Winter Olympics Jokes)
- What did one oar say to the other?… “Can I interest you in a little row-mance?” (Rowing Jokes)
- Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?… Because it’s all heart. (Doctor Jokes)
- What did the pencil say to the paper?… I dot my i’s on you! (Pencil Jokes)
- What is a ghost’s favorite month?… Feb – BOO – uary. (Halloween Jokes)
- What was the luge racers favorite band?… New kids on the block! (Luge Jokes& Winter Olympics Jokes)
- February 14th: Top Valentine’s Day Jokes: Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?… No, but they had an apple.
- Figure Skating Jokes: How is music like ice skating?… If you don’t “C sharp” you’ll “B flat.” (Winter Olympics Jokes)
- NBA All-Star Weekend Who was the poet of basketball?… Longfellow. (Top Basketball Jokes)
- Daytona 500 What don’t drivers eat before a big race?… In case they get indy-gestion. (Daytona 500 Jokes)
- Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War?… After a while, he took it for Grant-ed! (Civil War Jokes)
- President’s Day Jokes: Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?…. Because he couldn’t lie. (George Washington Quotes)
- Why are curlers such great artists?… They all know how to draw! (Curling Jokes)
- What does chemistry and figure skating have in common?… Elements. (Chemistry Jokes & 101 Mole Day Jokes)
- What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?… Brrrr- itos. (Cinco de Mayo Jokes)
- Why do figure skaters work in bakeries when they retire?…They’re great at icing cakes. (Cake Jokes & Figure Skating Jokes)
- What do you call a sleeping cow?… a bulldozer! (180 School Jokes)
- Why is music like a fish?…. They both have scales! (180 School Jokes)
- Did you hear about the dog at the flea circus?… He stole the show! (Dog Jokes)
- Can February March? … No, but April May!
- What is a Kermit The Frog’s favorite month?… February. It has a Leap Year.
March Jokes & March Jokes for Kids
March Madness Jokes & March Madness Trivia
- What can be seen in the middle of the months ‘April’ and ‘March’, that cannot be seen in the beginning or end of either month?… the letter “r.”
- March 2nd: Dr. Seuss Jokes: Why doesn’t the Grinch like knock knock jokes?… Because there’s always Whos there! (Top Christmas Jokes)
- What is the ideal number of pieces to cut a pie into?… 3.14
- What is the official animal of Pi Day?… the PI – thon! (Animal Jokes)
- “I married an Irishman on St. Patrick’s Day.” ….”Oh, really?” …. “No, O’Reilly!” (St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
- March 6th: Oreo Cookie Jokes Why do basketball players love Oreo cookies?… Because they can dunk them! (Basketball Jokes, Coaching Youth Basketball, Youth Basketball 101)
- March 7th: National Cereal Day Jokes: Did you hear about Tony The Tiger’s murder?… Police suspect a cereal killer.
- March 7th: National Pancake Day Jokes: Did you hear about the angry pancake?… He just flipped.
- March 9th: National Meatball Day: Where did the spaghetti go to dance?… The meat ball!
- Why didn’t the clock work?… It needed a hand. (Top Biology Jokes)
- March 11th Day Light Savings Jokes: What does a clock do when it’s hungry?… It goes back for seconds!
- 101 Pi Day Jokes: 3.14% of Sailors are PI rates! (Top Pirate Jokes)
- March 13th: National Napping Day: Did you hear about the kidnapping?…. He’s still sleeping!
- March 14th: 101 Pi Day Jokes: What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?… Pi!
- March Madness Jokes: What did the march say to all the madness?… What’s all that bracket.
- March Madness Jokes: Why did the basketball player go to jail?… Because he shot the ball! (Police Jokes)
- March 17th: St. Patrick’s Day Jokes: Knock Knock …. Who’s there? ….Irish!… Irish Who? …. Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day!
- Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun? …. Because they’re always a little short.
- What did the leprechaun do for a living?… He was a short-order cook!
- March 20th: 1st Day of Spring: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?… Pilgrims! (Top Social Studies Jokes)
- What season is it when you are on a trampoline?… Spring-time! (Top Gymnastics Jokes)
- March 22nd: World Water Day: What did the sink say to the water faucet?… You’re a real drip.
- Who shaves 10 times a day and still has a beard?… The barber. (Beard Jokes)
- When is the best month to hold a protest?… March. (March For Our Lives)
- What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops?… Swiss!!! (Cheese Jokes)
- Final Four Jokes: Sports Reporter: What do you think about the execution of your team? Frustrated March Madness coach: I support that 100%!
- What do you call sad coffee?”… Despresso. (Coffee Jokes, Top Psychology Jokes & High School Psychology Lessons)
- March 30th: National Doctors Day: Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctors?… He was feeling crummy. (Christmas Jokes & Christmas Trivia)
- MLB Opening Day Jokes: Did you hear the joke about the baseball?… It will leave you in stitches!
- March 30th: National Pencil Day: Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?… Because it has no point!
- What did the summer say to the spring?… Help! I’m going to fall. (Top Summer Jokes & Top Fall Jokes)
April Jokes & April Guest Blogs
- Do you know all about April 1st?… Yes, I’m fooly aware of it! (April Fool’s Day Jokes)
- Why is everyone so tired on April 1?… Because they’ve just finished a long, 31 day March! (Top Spring Jokes)
- What can be seen in the middle of the months ‘April’ and ‘March’, that cannot be seen in the beginning or end of either month?… the letter “r.”
- Which baseball player holds water?…The pitcher. (Baseball Jokes)
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?… Nacho cheese (Burrito Jokes)
- Why did they kick Tarzan out of the golf game?… He screamed with every swing. (Golf Jokes)
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- National Pet Day Jokes: How did the little Scottish puppy feel when he saw a monster?… Terrier-fied! (Top Halloween Jokes)
- National Grilled Cheese Day: Which is the most religious grill cheese sandwich?… Grilled cheese with Swiss, because it is holy.
- Friday the 13th Jokes: Why does Freddy Krueger wear a hat?… He ran out of scare spray.
- Patriots’ Day Jokes: What was the Patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War? … Chicken Catch-a-Tory!
- Earth Day Jokes: How do trees get on the internet?… They log in. (Arbor Day Jokes)
May Jokes & May Jokes for Kids
May Hashtag & Top May Pages
- May Day Jokes: Did you hear the joke about May Day?… It doesn’t work for me!
- What month always asks questions and permission?… May! (May Jokes)
- Kentucky Derby Jokes: How does a Kentucky Derby horse greet another horse?…With Southern Horspitality!
- May the 4th be With Jokes: When did Anakin’s Jedi masters know he was leaning towards the dark side?… In the Sith Grade. (School Jokes)
- Cinco De Mayo Jokes: Cinco De May Jokes for Kids: Why can’t you trust burritos to keep a secret?… They tend to spill the beans.
- Prom Jokes: What did the swordfish say to the marlin on prom night?… Looking sharp!
- What do you get when you complete science class?… A graduated cylinder. (Chemistry Jokes)
- Jokes for the Last Day of School: Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Wendy… Wendy Who?… Wendy bell rings, school is out for Summer. (180 School Jokes & Summer Jokes for Kids)
- Graduation Jokes: What did the M&M want to graduate college?… Because he wanted to be a Smarty. (Top Candy Jokes)
- Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses on the last day of school?… She had bright students! (Top Summer Jokes)
- Jokes for the Last Day of School: Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you leave school, thank your teacher for a great year! ((School Knock-Knock Jokes & Write a Thank You Letter to A Teacher)
- Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Dewey….Dewey who?… Dewey have to go to summer school? (Top Summer School Jokes)
- Why can’t you trust an atom?… They make up everything! (Top Physics Jokes)
- What don’t drivers eat before a big race?… In case they get indy-gestion. (Indy 500 Jokes & Top Nascar Jokes)
- May 23rd: World Turtle Day: What do you get if cross a Turtle with a Giraffe?… A Turtle-Neck! (World Turtle Day Jokes)
- Why should you never tell jokes on the Falcon?… The ship might crack up! (Han Solo Jokes)
- Memorial Day Jokes: What was General Washington’s favorite tree?…The infan-tree! (Top 40 4th of July Jokes & Top 10 Memorial Day Jokes)
- Full Moon Jokes: How does the man in the moon cut his hair?… Eclipse it.(Astronomy Jokes & Barber Jokes)
June Jokes / June Joke for Kids / June Hashtags / Top 10 June Pages
- Father’s Day Jokes: What did the Buffalo say to his son?… Bye-son.
- Flag Day Jokes: What did on flag say to the other flag?… Nothing. It waved!
- Summer Solstice Jokes: What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?… Summer! (Top Math Jokes)
- Summer Jokes: When do you go at red and stop at green?… When you’re eating a watermelon.
- Jokes for the Last Day of School
- National Donut Day: What is a pilot’s favorite type of donut? A plain (plane) donut! #NationalDonutDay (Pilot Jokes & Donut Jokes)
- Did hear the mountain joke?… You won’t get over it! (Hiking Jokes) #NationalTrailsDay
- Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you leave school, thank your teacher for a great year! ( Jokes for the Last Day of School & Write a Thank You Letter to A Teacher)
- National Cheese Day: What do you call cheese that is sad?… Blue cheese. (Psychology Jokes)
- Knock Knock…. Who’s there?… June – O… June – O Who?… Juno (Juneau) is the capital of Alaska! (Alaska Jokes & Geography Jokes)
- Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses on the last day of school?… She had bright students! (Top Summer Jokes)
- What kind of school do you go to if you’re a surfer?… Boarding school. (Top Summer Jokes & Surfing Jokes)
- World Oceans Day Jokes: Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?… He didn’t have a leg to stand on! (Ocean Jokes & Shark Jokes for Kids)
- Father’s Day Jokes: What did the Buffalo say to his son?… Bye-son. (Animal Jokes)
- What did the tennis player say before playing with vanilla ice cream?… “I’d like a soft serve, please!” (Tennis Jokes & Ice Cream Jokes) #NationalChocolateIceCreamDay
- Which baseball player holds water?…The pitcher. (Baseball Jokes #3)
- Why did the soccer ball quit the team?… It was tired of being kicked around.(World Cup Soccer Jokes & Top Soccer Jokes)
- How is a flag like Santa Claus?… They both hang out at the pole! (Christmas Jokes for Kids & Christmas Trivia)
- Flag Day Jokes: What did on flag say to the other flag?… Nothing. It waved! (Flag Day Jokes for Kids)
- Flip Flop Jokes: What do you call a French guy in sandals?… Phillipe Phloppe . #NationalFlipFlopDay
- Summer Solstice Jokes: What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?… Summer! (Top Math Jokes) #SummerSolstice
- Summer Jokes: When do you go at red and stop at green?… When you’re eating a watermelon.
- What is Uncle Sam’s favorite snack?… Fire crackers. (Firecracker Jokes)
- What dance was very popular in 1776?…Indepen-dance! (4th of July Jokes & Top 10 4th of July Jokes)
- “Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?”… “On the bottom!”
- Did you hear the joke about the Liberty Bell?…Yeah, it cracked me up!
- What do you call witches who live on the beach?… Sandwitches! (Top Massachusetts Jokes)
- Why can’t basketball players go on summer vacation?… They’d get called for traveling! (Top Basketball Jokes)
- Best Summer Vacation Book Never Written: “Where to Stay on Vacation” by Moe Tell.
- What do get when you cross Jason Voorhees and a box of cherrios?… A cereal killer. (Friday the 13th Jokes / Top Friday the 13th Jokes /Top Cereal Day Jokes)
- July 15th National Ice Cream Day Jokes: What do you get from an Alaskan cow?… Ice Cream (Top Geography Jokes Top State Jokes)
- Did you hear the joke about the all-star game baseball?… It will leave you in stitches! (All-Star Game Jokes)
- Did you see the movie about the hot dog?… It was an Oscar Wiener. (National Hot Dog Day Jokes)
- Which sharks would you find at a construction site?… Hammerhead sharks. (Shark Jokes for kids / Shark Jokes) #SharkWeek #SharkWeek2018
- What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter sandwiches?… Jellyfish.
- What happens when you cross a great white shark with a cow fish?… I don’t know…but I wouldn’t want to milk it! (Milk Jokes)
4th of July Jokes: What dance was very popular in 1776?…Indepen-dance!
- Where do sharks go on summer vacation?… Finland!
- What is a @NCTM math teacher’s favorite sum?… Summer! (Top Math Jokes)
- What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer’s day?… I’m bacon!
- Why do bananas use sunscreen?… Because they peel.
- Which letter is the coolest?… Iced t.
- What’s the best day to go to the beach?… SUN day!
- What does the sun drink out of?… SUN glasses.
- What did the beach say as the tide came in?… Long time no sea. (Top Geography Jokes)
- The seaside resort we visited last summer was so boring that one day the tide went out and never came back.
- Why did the summer school teacher wear sunglasses?…. Because her class was so bright! (Top Summer Jobs for Teachers)
- What do you call a french guy in sandals?… Phillipe Phloppe. (French Teachers are Great Tutors!)
- What do you call a dog on the beach in the Summer?… A hot dog!
- Where does a ship go when it’s sick?… To the DOCK!
- What’s that new summer pirate movie rated?…It’s rated ARRRRRR!
- What do whales like to put on their toast?… Jellyfish!
- What does a shark eat for dinner?… Fish and ships!
- Where does a fish go to borrow money?… The loan shark!
- How do teddy bears keep their den cool in summer?… They use bear conditioning!
- How do bees get to summer school?… By school buzz! (180 School Jokes)
- What do sheep do on sunny days?… Have a baa-baa-cue.
- Why did the robot go on summer vacation?… He needed to recharge his batteries.
- Why don’t mummies go on summer vacation?… They’re afraid to relax and unwind! (Top 10 Mother’s Day Jokes)
- Where did the sheep go on vacation?… The Baa-hamas!
- Why don’t oysters share their pearls?… Because they’re shellfish.
- Why do golfers carry an extra pair of socks?… In case they get a hole in one. (Top Sports Jokes)
- Why are gulls named seagulls?… If they were by the bay, they’d be bagels!
- Why do fish swim in salt water?… Because pepper makes them sneeze!
- What did one tide pool say to the other tide pool?… Show me your mussels.
- What summer vacation destination makes a pet bird sing for joy?… The Canary Islands!
- What do you call a fish with no eyes?… A fsh.
- What did the bread do on vacation?… It loafed around.
August Jokes / Top August Pages / Top August Hashtags
Top Back to School Jokes
- Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gust of wind over 74 MPH could be the start of a hurricane! (Hurricane Jokes)
- Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who? A gust of wind knocked me over!
- When do you go at red and stop at green?… When you’re eating a watermelon. (Watermelon Jokes) #NationalWatermelonDay
August Jokes
September Jokes
October Jokes
November Jokes
December Jokes
(update 12/2018)
Christmas Trivia & Answers
- Why was Santa’s little helper sad?… He had low elf esteem! (Top Psychology Jokes)
- What kind of music does elves like best?…”Wrap” music!
- What do elves learn in schools?… the “elf”-abet!
- Why does Santa have 3 gardens?… So he can ho-ho-ho! (Top Christmas Jokes& Top Winter Jokes)
- What is the best Christmas present in the world?….A broken drum, you can’t beat it! (Top Christmas Jokes & Top Winter Jokes)
- How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?… Nothing, it was on the house! (Top Christmas Jokes & Top Winter Jokes)
- What is the difference between the alphabet and the Christmas alphabet?…The Christmas alphabet has no L (noel)! (Top Christmas Jokes & Top Winter Jokes)
- What nationality is Santa?… North Polish! (Top Christmas Jokes & Top Winter Jokes)
- Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?… Rude-olph! (Top Christmas Jokes & Top Winter Jokes)
- Knock Knock…Who’s there?…Mary… Mary who?… Mary Christmas! (Top Christmas Jokes & Top Winter Jokes)
- Where do Santa Claus and the elves keep their money?… In a snow bank. (Top Christmas Jokes & Top Winter Jokes)
- Why did the angry Jedi cross the road?… To get to the Dark Side. (Star Wars: The Force Awakens Jokes)
- When did Anakin’s Jedi masters know he was leaning towards the dark side?… In the Sith Grade. (Elementary teachers are great tutors!)
- What did the sweet potato say to Luke Skywalker?… I Yam your father! (Star Wars: The Force Awakens Jokes)
- How do Ewoks communicate over long distances?… With Ewokie Talkies (Star Wars: The Force Awakens Jokes)
- Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing and such?… At the Darth Maul, of course. (Star Wars: The Force Awakens Jokes)
- What do Gungans put things in?… Jar Jars. (Star Wars: The Force Awakens Jokes)
- What do you call 5 siths piled on top of a lightsaber?… A Sith-Kabob! (Star Wars: The Force Awakens Jokes)
- Why do Doctors make the best Jedi?… Because a Jedi must have patience. (Star Wars: The Force Awakens Jokes)
- What did the ghost say to Santa?… We’ll have a boo Christmas without you!
- What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?… “Looks like rain, dear.”
- Knock knock…Who’s there?… Irish... Irish who? … Irish you a Merry Christmas!
- Knock, knock…Who’s there?…Olive…Olive, who?…Olive the other reindeer.
- What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?… Claustrophobic.
- Why is Santa so good at karate?… Because he has a black belt!
- Which reindeer has the cleanest antlers?… Comet!
- What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve?…Halo there!
- If an athlete gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?…Missile Toe
- What kind of money do Santa and the elves use in the North Pole?…Cold cash!
- What do reindeer say before telling a joke?… This one will sleigh you!
- How do you make a slow reindeer fast?… Don’t feed it!
- Why do mummies like Christmas so much?… Because of all the wrapping!
- What kind of bug hates Christmas?… A humbug.
- What does a vampire sing on New Year’s Eve?… Auld FANG syne (Top New Years Eve Jokes)
- New Year’s Eve Jokes: What do you call always having a date for New Year’s Eve?… Social Security