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  1. What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean?… Nothing, it just waved!
  2. What has no beginning, end or middle & touches every continent?… The Ocean.
  3. Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?… He didn’t have a leg to stand on!
  4. Which fish is the most famous in the ocean?… The star fish!
  5. Mark! But do you know where fishes work?… The Offish!
  6. What did the beach say to the wave?… “Long tide, no sea.”
  7. Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?… Because they spend years at C!
  8. Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?… All the sailors were marooned.
  9. Where does a killer whale go for braces?… The orca-dontist.
  10. What is the strongest creature in the ocean?… A mussel!
  11. Which bus crossed the Atlantic Ocean?… Christopher ColumBUS.
  12. Why did the algae & the fungus get married?… They took a lichen to each other (although, unfortunately, their marriage is now on the rocks)
  13. Why did the #fisherman start doing drugs?… Pier pressure.
  14. What is the best way to communicate with a fish?… Drop it a line!
  15. What is a cetacean’s favorite TV show?… Whale of fortune.
  16. What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea?… It gets wet.
  17. What happens when you throw a red rock in the Black Sea?… It sinks to the bottom.
  18. What did Cinderella wear when she went swimming in the ocean?… Glass flippers.
  19. What did Cinderella wear when she went swimming in the ocean?… Glass flippers!
  20. What did one wave say to the other wave?… Nothing. It just waved.
  21. What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?… Show me your mussels.
  22. What puts the white lines on the ocean?… An ocean liner.
  23. Why don’t oysters give to charity?… Because they’re shellfish!
  24. Why did the lobster blush?… Because the sea weed.
  25. What does a mermaid wear to maths lessons?… An algae-bra
  26. Where do shellfish go to borrow money?… The prawn broker.
  27. What is a blue whale’s favorite James Bond Film?… Licence to Krill.
  28. Where does seaweed look for a job?… In the ‘Kelp-wanted’ ads.
  29. Have you heard about the restaurant that caters only to dolphins? It only has 1 customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
  30. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?… A nervous wreck.
  31. A salmon walks into a vegetarian restaurant and the waiter says, “Sorry, we don’t serve fish.”
  32. What does seaweed say when it’s stuck at the bottom of the sea?… “Kelp! Kelp!”
  33. Why are seabirds so lucky in love?… Because one good tern always deserves another.
  34. Where do you calculate the mass of a cetacean?… At a Whale-Weigh Station.
  35. What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?…The Codfather.
  36. What happened to the shark that swallowed a bunch of keys?…It got lockjaw.
  37. What did the shark plead in the murder case?…Not gill-ty.
  38. Algae A (to Algae B): “How are things?”Algae B: “Good thanks; business is blooming”
  39. Why does the mermaid wear seashells?…Because she grew out of her B-shells
  40. Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?… Because they dropped out of school.
  41. Why did the seawater keep walking around in circles?… Because it was gyred.
  42. Where do #crabs & #lobsters catch their trains?… Kings Crustacean.
  43. What did one flat-fish parasite say to the other at the end of their date?… “Your plaice or mine?”
  44. How can you amplify a pirate’s DNA?… PC Arghhh.