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Funny Jokes for Each Month
Jokes for Special Days of the Year!

  1. Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?… He was trying to make both ends meet!
  2. Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?… Because you can’t bury them in trees!
  3. What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?… A collie-flower!
  4. Why do dogs wag their tails?… “Because no one else will do it for them!”
  5. What is the dogs favorite city?… New Yorkie!
  6. Who is the dogs favorite comedian?… Growlcho Marx!
  7. What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?… “Well, doggone!”
  8. What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?… He stole the show!
  9. How can you tell if you have a stupid dog?.. It chases parked cars!
  10. Why was the tree drooling?… It was a dogwood. (Arbor Day Jokes)
  11. Why didn’t the dog speak to his foot?… Because it’s not polite to talk back to your paw! (Top Father’s Day Jokes & Top Father’s Day Quotes)
  12. How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?… Terrier-fied! (Top Halloween Jokes)
  13. Why did the dog cross the road?… To get to the “barking” lot!
  14. What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?… A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
  15. What kind of dog does Dracula have?… A bloodhound!
  16. What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone?… A golden receiver!
  17. What does my dog and my phone have in common?… They both have collar I.D.
  18. What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog?… Dingo Starr!
  19. What do you call a dog magician?… A labracadabrador.
  20. What do you get when you cross a race dog with a bumble bee?… a Greyhound Buzz.
  21. What do you call a large dog that meditates? A: Aware wolf.
  22. Why did the dog need help on his Pros and Cons chart? A: He was CON-fused!
  23. What do you call a frozen dog? A: A pupsicle
  24. What did the skeleton say to the puppy? A: bonappetite
  25. What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator? A: A friend you can count on.
  26. Did you hear about the dog who couldn’t stop talking like a horse? A: It was a dog and pony show.
  27. What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly? A: The collie wobbles!
  28. What do you call a black Eskimo dog? A: A dusky husky!
  29. What do you call a cold dog? A: A Chilli Dog.
  30. How is a dog and a marine biologist alike? A: One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
  31. What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog? A: A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!
  32. When does a dog go “moo”? A: When it is learning a new language!
  33. What kind of dog chases anything red? A: A Bulldog.
  34. What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? A: It barked with de-light!
  35. What is a dogs favorite instrument? A: A trombone.
  36. What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A: A collie-flower!
  37. What’s a dog’s ideal job? A: Barkeology
  38. Why don’t blind people like to sky dive? A: Because it scares the dog.
  39. What do you call a dog that goes to the bathroom indoors? A: A pet project.
  40. What do dogs and story tellers have in common? A: They both have tails!
  41. What kind of dog likes taking a bath? A: a shampoodle!
  42. What happens when a dog chases a cat into a geysur? A: It starts raining cats and dogs.
  43. What is a dog’s favorite sport? A: Formula 1 drooling!
  44. What do you get if you take a really big dog out for a walk? A: A Great Dane out!
  45. Where does a Rottweiller sit in the cinema? A: Anywhere it wants to!
  46. What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy? A: “I must throw that doggie out the window!”
  47. Why did the dog wear white sneakers? A: Because his boots were at the menders!
  48. What is a dog’s favorite food? A: Anything that is on your plate!
  49. What is the only kind of dog you can eat? A: A hot dog!
  50. What kind of dog sounds like you can eat it? A: A sausage dog!
  51. What did the cat say to the dog? A: Check meow-t!
  52. What do you do if your dog eats your pen? A: Use a pencil instead!
  53. What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah? A: A dog that chases cars – and catches them!
  54. What happens when it rains cats and dogs? A: You can step in a poodle!
  55. What do you call a dog that licks an electrical socket? A: Sparky.
  56. Where did the dog fall asleep? A: In the barking lot.
  57. What’s a dogs favorite kind of pizza? A: Pupperoni.
  58. What time is it when ten dogs chase a cat? A: Ten After One.
  59. What do you call a dog with a Rolex? A: A watch dog.
  60. Why was the cat scared of the tree? A: Because of its bark.
  61. What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear? A: A petticoat!
  62. What do you call a dog with a fever? A: A hot dog.
  63. What do you get if you cross a dog and a lion? A: A terrified postman!
  64. Why can’t dogs work the DVD remote? A: Because they always it the Paws button!
  65. What did the dog say to the sandpaper? A: Ruff.
  66. What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic? A: His bark was much worse than it’s bite!
  67. Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker? A: Because all he ever said was “Rough, Rough”
  68. What do you call a dog with a surround sound system? A: a Sub-woofer.
  69. What do dogs eat for breakfast? A: Pooched eggs.
  70. What is a dogs favorite flower? A: Anything in your garden!
  71. What dog wears contact lenses? A: A cock-eyed spaniel!
  72. What’s more amazing than a talking dog? A: A Spelling Bee.
  73. What’s a dog favorite hobby? A: Collecting fleas!
  74. What did the dog say to the tree? A: Bark
  75. How does a dog stop a video? A: By pressing the paws button.
  76. What is the fastest dog in the world? A: A Labraghini.
  77. Where do you put barking dogs? A: In a barking lot. Q
  78. What was the special offer at the pet store this week? A: Buy 1 Dog get 1 Flea!
  79. Where do dogs go after their tails fall off? A: The re-tail store.
  80. What did the dog say to the flea? A: Stop bugging me! Q
  81. What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny? A: a chili dog on a bun!
  82. Why did the dog stay in the shade? A: Because he did not want to turn into a hot dog.
  83. Why did the dog bury himself in the back yard? A: Cause you can’t grow a tree without bark.
  84. What do you do when your dog goes missing in the forest? A: Put your ear to a tree and listen for the bark.
  85. What do you do when the UPS man apologizes for smashing your stuff? A: You call off the dogs.
  86. What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal? A: That hit the spots!
  87. Have you read the book Raising Dogs? A: No? you should it’s a pup-up book.
  88. Why did the dog cross the road twice? A: He was trying to fetch a boomerang!
  89. What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller and a hyena? A: I don’t know but I’ll join in if it laughs!
  90. What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster?… Cockerpoodledoo!
  91. What do you call a sheepdog’s tail that can tell tall stories? A: A shaggy dogs tale!
  92. I asked my dog what’s that thing on top of the house? And the he said “Roof Roof”.
  93. What did the tree say to the dog? Tree: Do you like bark? Dog: What do you think? I bark every day of my life.