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This list was selected from 101 Halloween Jokes.

  1. What is a mummy’s favorite type of music?… Rap music.
  2. What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?…The trombone.
  3. Where do movie stars go on Halloween?…MaliBOO!
  4. Why didn’t Dracula have any friends?…He was a pain in the neck!
  5. What do you call a skeleton that lies on its grave?…Lazy bones!
  6. What did one casket say to the other casket?…”Is that you coffin?” (coughing)
  7. What key opens a Haunted House?… A spooKEY!
  8. What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?…A nectarine.
  9. What kind of streets do zombies live on?… Dead-ends.
  10. What kind of boat do werewolves like?…blood vessels
  11. What is the problem with two twin witches?… You never know which witch is which!
  12. What do you call a mummy eating in bed?…A crummy mummy.
  13. What pants do ghosts wear?…BOO jeans.
  14. When do vampires like horse racing?…When it’s neck and neck!
  15. What do you call a witch who likes the beach but is scared of the water?…A chicken sand witch.
  16. What did the skeleton order with his drink?… A mop.
  17. Who won the zombie war?…Nobody, it was dead even.
  18. Why did Dracula go to the library?…He wanted a good book to sink his teeth into!
  19. What school subject is a witch good at?…Spelling.
  20. What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?…A pumpkin patch.
  21. What song do vampires hate?…”You are my sunshine!”
  22. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?…Because you can see right through him.
  23. What do you call a witch at the beach?…A sand-witch.
  24. Why couldn’t the skeleton cross the road?…Because he didn’t have the guts.
  25. What do skeletons say before they start to eat?…Bone appetite.
  26. What do ghosts serve for dessert?…I scream.
  27. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?…”Watch the board and I’ll go through it again.”
  28. Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to the dance?…Because he had no body to go with.
  29. How do you say goodbye to a vampire?… So long sucker!
  30. Why was the little ghost crying?…Because he wanted his mummy.
  31. What did the jack-o’-lantern say to the other jack-o’-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?…”Let’s get glowing.”
  32. Where does a vampire keep his money?…In a blood bank.
  33. What do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank?…A cab.
  34. Why don’t skeletons play music in church?…They have no organs.
  35. What kind of dog does a vampire have?…A bloodhound.
  36. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?… “Long time no see.”
  37. Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you?…To the living room!
  38. What is a skeleton’s favorite drink?…Milk, it’s white and good for your bones.
  39. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?…Frostbite.
  40. What do you call two witches that live together?…Broom mates.
  41. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?…Dead ringers.
  42. What does a ghost keep in its stable?…Nightmares.
  43. Why don’t mummies take vacations?…They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
  44. What kind of candy won’t a ghost touch?…Life Savers.
  45. What happens when a ghost haunts a theater?…The actors get stage fright.
  46. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?…Sherlock Bones!
  47. How do you make a skeleton laugh?…Tickle its funnybone!
  48. Why was the big hairy , two-headed monster top of the class in school?…Because two heads are better than one.
  49. Knock knock…Who’s there?…Ivana…Ivana who?…Ivana suck your blood.
  50. Which circus performer is a vampire’s favorite snack?… The juggler.
  51. Where ghosts water ski?… On Lake Erie.
  52. Where do ghosts go to relax?… The Dead Sea.
  53. Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?… They’re so WRAPPED up in themselves!
  54. What did a Jack-o-lantern say to the pumpkin?… Cut it out!